Strength Reading

1-How am I strong? VI of Wands VI of Wands
2-How am I weak? VI of Swords (rev) IV of Swords
3-When do I need to be strong? IX of Wands IX of Wands
4-When do I need to be weak? VII of Wands VII of Wands
5-What strengthens me? X of Pentacles X of Pentacles
6-What weakens me? X of Wands ]X of Wands

How am I strong? VI of Wands” Passion, Romance or shared enthusiasms. Situations that are exciting and harmonious at the same time. Confidence and optimism, the ability to inspire others” Well, cool, sounds like a good program to run. OK this is how i am. Confident, optimistic, Inspiring and Passionate. Sounds like part of the Merlin program I am running

How am I weak? IV of Swords(rev)” Confusion over whether or not to intervene in a situation. Intuitive thinking rather than logic””Too soon to involve others, Don’t repeat mistakes””Wise to stay away from other people’s problems. Things will settle down soon” Ok, that makes too much sense. I tend to want to be helpful and I need to accept that everyone is responsible for their own universe. I am belittling them by trying to intervene even if they ask me too. Especially when I can sense what is going on for the other person (well they do express part of myself otherwise I wouldn’t be aware of the situation)

When do I need to be strong? IX of Wands” Courage and Strength in a tense situation.” Don’t Leave yourself open to criticism, check your plans carefully””Take a broader view, encompass the problems, see it as others might” So when planning, I need to check things over so I can have confidence in my plans

When do I need to be weak? VII of Wands ” There is a need to open ourselves to fire rather than use it against others or simply to stay on top” “You can make it! you can meet the challenge. Examine resources take your time. Regain balance than act” about the only meaning i can see for this telling me when i need to be weak is that I need to hesitate rather than rushing at my foes. I can succeed as long as I take the breath to see how first. So have confidence to know, i don’t have to be the aggressor in the battle. I am strong enough to take the blows”

What strengthens me? X of Pentacles ” A feeling of security. Now you have a solid base. To reach your point of destiny you must go through the port of satisfaction” “Don’t wait for something to happen. Continue with plans. Further prosperity developing” so the stability of being married and having a family and a stable base strengthens me. Wow i’ve created the life i’m in for all kinds of reasons.

What weakens me? X of Wands ” Drop unnecessary obligations” “Feeling overburdened by obligations” Translation: When too much is going on I feel put upon. It’s not the workload that weakens me as much as the feeling that I shouldn’t be dealing with it

So My strengths are optimism and confidence, Inspiration and Passion, I need to use my strength when there are challenges to be met and the very domesticity I tend to rail against makes me strong.
My weakness tends to be my instinct to want to help others and the fact that tho i have the intuition to know what they need, i can’t always back it up with a chain of logic. I need to use my weakness for others when i am defending myself and them and have to learn when and how to stand up and take the situation first (only after assessing it πŸ˜‰ ) I have the ability to bounce back from a situation better than most. What wakens me is when I have created a situation where i have taken on too much.

More Thoughts

I saw the musical Les Miserables last night. The production was fine, the music was good to great. Strange, tho looking at things from the spiritual / archetypal point of view, the play can be seen as an alchemical romance between Javert and Jean Valjean. As the final acts in their lives, Javert takes on Valjean’s main quality of mercy and following what he believes morally / ethically correct rather than following the law and Valjean takes on Javert’s qualities of personal responsibility and following the law.

More and more I have been discovering my own power and taking on my role as creator of my own life. I’ve been doing more what I want, creating more on paper and online, meditating and manifesting what I will. It feels very cool. I feel connected to source and that my life is, what were those words that L uses, oh yeah positive and perfect :). The people I have been drawing into my life are wonderful. It feels great!!!

I did one of the best tarot readings I have done in quite some time today for my friend S. Very cool, definitely just channeling the energy. I also got this fantastic star tetrahedron pendulum made out of red tiger’s eye. Not quite sure what the purpose is yet but I will meditate on it and find out.

The power that is out there is infinite. If my energy comes from the universe (my higher self, however you may wish to word it) then it cannot be exhausted, The more energy there is that flows through me, the clearer the channel becoemes and the more energy there will be for me to shine.

Svecchachara Paro is the sanskrit expression that closes the Hindu Avadhoota Upanishad. Svecchara according to wikipedia πŸ˜‰ means “a way of life where one acts as one wishes and does what is right in one’s own eyes. Doing one’s own Will” “The term “Paro” means a mysterious or secret pattern to that action done by one’s own Will. In other words, we do our Will but with discretion, not making it too obvious, nor to harm or hurt other people. “. Very close to Crowley’s thelemic “Do what thou wilt shalt be the whole of the law”
So far , I don’t know that i have found or thought of anything that works better for me than that.

Svecchachara Paro πŸ˜‰

Wow, Simple Answers, Upgrade and Evolution

“As you believe so shall you be”
I know I am all powerful and I am all powerful. That has become my reality. If I stay away from people who try to convince me that I have not the power or people who think I am speaking metaphorically, if I believe beyond any disbelief that I am powerful, rich, beautiful, anything that I wish to be than that is what I am. Belief and knowledge beyond doubt is where magic meets quantum physics. If noone ever opens the box to check on the cat than it is the belief that will collapse the wave.


To anyone who would dismiss the above totally out of hand–does your reality make more sense? How is that working for you?

Chariot Reading

0-What am I leaping into at this time of my life?

III-The Empress

The Empress

3-What is my passion?

King of Wands (rev)

King of Wands

1-Where is the energy, the magic? VII of Wands

VII of Wands

4-What are the rules?IX of Pentacles

IX of Pentacles

5-What is the Path Laid Out for me?

King of Swords (reversed)

King of Swords

7-Where is it all heading

XII-The Hanged Man (Rev)

Hanged Man

6-How do I express my passion?

VII of Cups (Reversed)

VII of Cups

2-What is secret, hidden or unspoken?

Knight of Wands

Knight of Wands


What am I leaping into at this time of my life? The Empress Creativity, Passion & Love-love in the sense of love for the universe and myself, heart-chakra stuff

Where is the energy? The Magic? VII of Wands“Dynamic, energetic, creative, possibly aggressive. There is a need to open ourselves up to fire” Yep lately I am getting fired up from surrounding myself (at least virtually with creative people and creating myself hmmm as well as creating, myself πŸ™‚

What is secret, hidden or unspoken?Prince of Wands“Adventure, daring, someone energetic and forceful, As a person he can be very charming, confident; card of travel” qualities in myself i keep hidden or unspoken.

What is my passion? King of Wands (Rev)“Tested or in any way confined, he may react angrily; difficult circumstances may cause him to doubt himself”This card is in a strange place but makes an odd kind of sense. I tend to make my life more difficult than it has to be just to challenge myself to get out of situations, is probably one of my biggest ego traps. There is indication that i need to turn my passion around (using my creativity, the Empress is a keynote of the reading) so that i am channeling all the power at my command (which appears to be formidable) rather than dissipate it getting out of situations that I’ve put myself into

What are the rules? IX of Pentacles“Self-discipline, achievement, the possibility of achieving a good life for yourself” So does Gary play by the rules? or act typically? tho in reality I would say that the card is telling me to follow my bliss/follow my contentment.

What is the path laid out for me King of Swords (reversed)“Someone uncomfortable with exercising authority” I know Hillel’s argument way too well to think it refers to using one’s mind for one’s own gain rather than society’s “If I am not for myself, then who shall be for me, If I am only for myself than what am I” So i am not meant to take a leadership role, Cool, not my interest, I’ve always favored being Merlin, rather than Arthur, Gandalf rather than Aaragorn and Duncan Idaho over Paul Atreides

How do I express my passion? VII of Cups (Rev)“”The need to take action on fantasies. A choice might have to be made. Love might not be returned” The things I fantasize about in others, I need to incorporate into myself. I am my own missing piece

Where is it all heading? Hanged Man (Rev) “If the card primarily means being hung up, reversed can signify movement-getting unstuck or the end of a difficult sacrifice, it can mean conforming” It’s pretty difficult imagining that I’ll ever conform to the laws of society so let’s go with becoming unstuck and the end of a difficult sacrifice, it seems a lot will be revealed that I’ve kept hidden and movement forward may happen.
Any other thoughts? Anyone?….

Life is a….

β€œLife is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole
So does that make life a…
soap opera for those who emote?
a horror film for those who fear?
a inspirational feel-good flick for those who aspire?
a surrealistic dali-esque landscape for those who dream?


Who’s directing this thing anyway?

aw who am i kidding

I run the show.

Living without a script :)

So self-knowledge is a good thing. Today I learned that i seem to need a script when i vlog πŸ™‚
Hey that’s not a bad idea:

Things I learned or relearned today:

1. Talking about treating emotions as part of the universal climate tends to be easier than living it.
2. When dealing with emotional storms, if detachment does not come easily, a sense of humour can make a pretty good umbrella. If you seem to have trouble activating your own sense of humour, make contact with some goofy friends, hey make contact with me, finding the funny for other people tends to be a specialty. πŸ™‚
3. As Creators, we all do a pretty good job at manifesting what we need to grow. Faith in oneself seems to be a good quality to cultivate
4 Hot dogs , Baked Beans and salad is a fast easy supper that kids love.
5. Sometimes the full moon can manifest in a beautiful red colour.
6. We all create our lives. Some of us (maybe even many of us) do it less consciously than others. Some of us create complex character-driven sagas, I tend to veer between surrealism and sit-com myself πŸ˜‰
7. We can all manifest exactly what we want. I feel awed, heartened, terrified, and wonder-struck by that. The trick seems to be figuring out which part of us seems to be doing the wanting. What does our ‘truest selves’ need to grow. If the universe is positive and perfect…and it is…and we are in the driver’s seat (which we are) than why not try to tune ourselves to the universe and trust in that positivity and perfection?
8. I have been truly unimaginative in how I have used chocolate all these years. This will make perfect sense to perhaps four people and hopefully stimulate the imagination of many more. πŸ™‚

Long Strange Trips—Quotes

“Sometimes the lights are shining on me. Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me……What a long strange trip it’s been.” What an amazing week. Has felt like my heart has been opening up I’ve been really up and centered. Today I brought Zev to his aunt’s memorial service with strange energy (from my perspective) abounding then got home and now i feel off-center tho I can see the road back to there.

“My life is just so good, I’ve lost the right to sing the blues”– Karen Drucker
Great attitude Great song

Video of the Day

Karen Drucker- I Lost the Right to Sing The Blues

The Lovers Reading

1-How have I experienced love in my life
Wheel of Fortune (Rev)

Wheel of Fortune

2-What has it shown?
Knight of Wands

Knight of Wands

5-What does love ask of me?
III of Swords

III of Swords

6-What does love give me?
The Empress

The Empress

3-What do I desire?
The Devil
The Devil
4-What holds me back?


How do I experience love in my life?Wheel of Fortune (Reversed) “It may also show someone who begins the difficult process of self-examination, of learning to stop blaming bad luck for whatever disaster his or her life has become””a struggle against events that have already happened” Deep in-breath. This makes more sense than I would like to admit. Struggling against the love in my life and also accepting that I need to create the love that i need (not the sex but the love ) . This past week has been amazing feeling in love with the word itself. Tonight I feel pulled off-center.

2. What has it shown? Knight of Wands “Adventure daring, someone energetic and forceful. As a person he can be very charming confident. This can be a card of travel” I’ve traveled for love and I’ve been creative and adventurous in love. Day to Day working on feeling it…

3. What do I desire? The Devil “The Devil can mean illusions of any kind, mistakes, errors, clinging to values, situations or people who can harm you””the chains are big enough to be slipped” This may be reaching, but beyond the looking to punish myself aspect of love, i would guess that i am looking for chains that I could slip easily?

4. What holds me back? Temperance “…can indicate creative problem solving” battling compulsions”. .. hmmm, almost sounds like I keep pulling myself back from the brink. I get attracted towards a negative person or situation and then think better of it

5.-What does love ask of me? III of Swords “Sorrow with the hope that by accepting it, we can go beyond the pain. Conflict in a group, such as a family or at work. Understanding the quality of your own mind. ” I may need to meditate on this one for a bit Part of this reading doesn’t seem to fit, part of me screams out in denial and part of me believes that the reading points to love as being the unseen hole in the bottom of my boat.

6. What does love give me? The Empress “The Empress can indicate love and desire, not necessarily for a specific person but simply the power of love itself” So in the end to quote John Lennon “the love i take is equal to the love i make” Love gives me love gives me the ability and the desire to love. I love freely without cause on impulse. My choices as far as who and how i love seem questionable but loving is a necessity.

That’s how i would interpret those cards. I would question their relevance to my life at this space-time as they do not seem to reflect my current relationship tho past patterns are reflected for sure. Lots to meditate on. 4 major cards in itself seems of interest. with the Devil and Temperance providing an interesting balance almost indicating strength at a higher level. With the Wheel reversed balancing out the Empress. hmmm “Love is the law, love under will”. If i look at the cards from a point of view of archetypes rather than book meanings it gets kind of interesting. The Devil standing for willfullness, that love (The Empress ) is under. Would almost think of the combination of the two as that old comedy cliche of waking up after a wild night of passion only to find a wedding ring on your finger.