Again–The idea of 1 (or 2) spreads for each major arcana card is taken (as are the spreads) from Rachel Pollack’s excellent book Tarot Wisdom. As often as possible I am using the textual definitions from Ms Pollack’s book as otherwise there exists a possibility of skewing the meanings to serve my own ends rather than get any insight into what the cards are showing me. Recently I have also been taking (for the minor arcana) cards some of the textual definitions from Eileen Connolly’s Tarot: The First Handbook for the Master. Way back when I started working with the cards Ms. Connolly’s Tarot for the Apprentice was one of the first books I used.
Tonight tho, I had a new insight. That if the goal of these readings is a greater internal knowledge and understanding these forces then subjectivity may just be the way to go. Still I will give Ms Pollack’s and Ms. Connolly’s definitions because I feel it may be useful for anyone reading this to follow along.
Death Personal Reading
|1) What is my attitude towards death?||IX of Pentacles (rev)|
|2) How am I ok with death?||VII of Swords (rev)|
|3) How do I have trouble with Death?||Death (rev)|
|4) What needs to die in my life?||Page of Cups (rev)|
|5) How do I let it die?||The Devil|
|6) What needs to live?||Knight of Wands|
|7) How do I help it live?||Page of Wands (rev)|
What is my attitude towards death? IX of Pentacles (rev)
“Lack of discipline, low regard for yourself, but also choosing spontaneity over long term goals”
“Some Regret, Some Reason. Not sure what to do next. Do not complicate situation further. Need some advice”
“You are missing someone terribly. They feel the same. Make contact”
“Contact someone who is feeling lost without you”
“People do care. They may have the wrong impression”
Wow. This one took me a bit. Mainly because it deals so much with what I believe intellectually and what I feel is true versus some of my ego feelings. I don’t like death. I understand that we all will make this transition and that feels ok. Still when people leave the party, for the most part we loose communication with them. At its best, it feels like they go to a far-off land from which there is little to no two-way communication. We may see them again but still…. So many people whom I wish I’d have known better, whom I wish I had told what they meant to me and what they could have meant to me. I know that I still can but there goes that two-way communication problem again.
I think part of the message that I hear is to tell people how I feel now. To spend the time, even if I feel stretched in four other directions. We draw people into our lives for a reason. Part of me realizes that we bring people into our lives for a certain amount of involvement for a certain length of time and that things happen in just the right way. Part of me mourns the lost potential and maybe that has something to do with the meaning of it all for me. I should try to realize the potential of each relationship in my life and let it be as mutually positive and growth-inducing as possible.
How am I OK with death? VII of Swords (rev)
“Good Karma now possible. A solution will be offered. Have a gracious attitude. Accept and later you will be able to return the help”
“If you think things out you will see the obvious! Can prevent further disruption”
“willingness to consult with others to get advice before taking action”
hmmmm, As I said before, my understanding of death is all about transitions–Ultimately Death works as the solution to life on the physical plane–I also feel that the more confort you can give to those who grieve over loved ones who left the party the better. The acceptance thing, maybe I draw closer to being able to do that than I thought.
How do I have trouble with Death? Death (rev)? 🙂
“If someone has been sick a long time with fear of not surviving, the upside-down Death may say that the person will not die soon or in the immediate future”
“It does not however, promise recovery, just that life continues”
“resistance to change, inertia. Things do not die, they simply go on”
Yes, yes and yes. (BTW, i believe this is the first time in these readings, that the card of the reading showed up. Cool). I don’t fear Death. Inside of me, is a fear of suffering, of my physical body laying wracked with illness (either physical or mental) and pain and not being ready / able to die. I have seen that happen with both people I feel close to and others whom were close to those I love. So in that way, I have to learn to let go of the fear of Death not coming.
On the other hand, I have seen some miraculous recoveries. Around four years back, my father had a cerebral aneurysm and he was in a coma for several months. We all had hope and prayer that he would recover but as time went on doubt crept in. Only my step-mother had total faith and belief in his recovery. He woke up one day and tho the recovery was slow, he has come back over 90% 🙂 So there is almost always hope.
Still, I believe that on some level if I do end up in a hospital (with physical and / or mental discomfort) that it will be something that I have chosen.
What needs to die in my life? Page of Cups (rev)
“Troubled by things that come from the imagination or the subconscious. Seduction without principle”
Elementally Page of Cups would be Earth of Water, Right side up that would allow a ground for new life to develop and spring forth. Pretty nurturing and peaceful. Reversed things would get muddied, confused. Distracted? Possibly but things definitely would not be seen as clearly. However once they settled down….
So I have to do my best to let the mud settle, and to clarify what I see. To let go of that part of my self that gets pulled into illusion and distracted. Especially by those things that challenge my principles.
How do I let it Die? The Devil (*sigh*)
“…means oppression of some sort, or addiction, whatever chains us. Often these things, have a quality of illusion about them, due to that image of the ropes or chains being big enough to come off. The Devil can mean illusions of any kind, mistakes, errors, clinging to values or situations or people that can harm you. …the Devil’s games and lies can bring real harm”
OK OK, I get the message. Let go of those illusory things that i feel drawn to lately. Recognize them as traps and work on what I know is important…still..:(
sometimes the only thing more difficult than a hard – to-grasp reading is one that feels easy….
What needs to live? Knight of Wands
“Adventure, daring, someone energetic and forceful. As a person he can be very charming, confident. This can be a card of travel”
Air of Fire. Someone who can sustain themselves towards greater intensity. Inspiration, Creative and traveling? Ok awesome
I need to keep moving, finding new beauty and new things to keep me going and like Seals and Crofts “We May never pass this way again” says “lift us up…always up”
How do I help it live? Page of Wands (rev)
“Uncertainty, hesitancy, caution.”
Earth of Fire–would be containment of creativity and spiritual energy so that it can be channeled in the proper direction. Also to make sure that the lower chakra stuff is taken care of also. Reversed could very well mean that too much focus is spent on containment and not enough on the channeling of the energy, Either way I am hearing that I need to work on my boundaries/ barriers and work towards growing / fanning the flames so that the page may become the knight.
There seems to be the oddest balance between the last four cards in this reading. The two reversed pages (fire and water). being what I need to die and what I need to sustain the parts that I want to live, both have to do with Earth (grounding, boundaries) and how it relates first to water and then to fire. It seems almost like a rock-paper-scissors game. Earth can contain fire but Water contains Earth. or in this case with the cards reversed, earth can smother fire and muddy water. Realizing the illusion of the water being muddied and what clarity looks like (The Devil) and satisfying my own creative urges both by continuing to create and traveling to new places, not necessarily physically (Knight of Wands) will help those recalcitrant pages to contain and sustain as i’d like them to 🙂