I didn’t want to know.
Separation hurts like hell
Still I go onward
I didn’t want to know.
Separation hurts like hell
Still I go onward
–Elwood P. Dowd, Harvey
Echoes from the past
Playing games…Remember when…?
Just the gold remains
He Perfects his art.
Realizing inner visions
he then manifests
Little explanation for this one folks. Was out walking Rufus thinking about going to synagogue as a kid on Yom Kippur. Basically the day is spent listing sins and saying to God that if I’ve done this sin, please forgive me” Anyway started looking at that, if the universe is manifest in each one of us then from whom are we asking forgiveness? If we are all perfect, living out our lives in the way we need most to grow, along with the inherent stumbles along the way and doing the best we can, then why can’t we accept ourselves for who we’ve been, and forgive ourselves and all others. I kind of picture having this conversation with the universe or perhaps myself.
I don’t see this as not being accountable, In order to forgive ourselves, we first have to admit that we have done something that needs forgiving…
Again–The idea of 1 (or 2) spreads for each major arcana card is taken (as are the spreads) from Rachel Pollack’s excellent book Tarot Wisdom. As often as possible I am using the textual definitions from Ms Pollack’s book as otherwise there exists a possibility of skewing the meanings to serve my own ends rather than get any insight into what the cards are showing me. Recently I have also been taking (for the minor arcana) cards some of the textual definitions from Eileen Connolly’s Tarot: The First Handbook for the Master. Way back when I started working with the cards Ms. Connolly’s Tarot for the Apprentice was one of the first books I used.
Since then, I have had a new insight. That if the goal of these readings is a greater internal knowledge and understanding these forces then subjectivity may just be the way to go. Still I will give Ms Pollack’s and Ms. Connolly’s definitions because I feel it may be useful for anyone reading this to follow along.
This week we come to Judgement. I’ve been looking forward to this one. In so many ways, the idea of waking up to oneself after being awhile in the ground or sleeping or however you wish to put it intrigues me. Perhaps. it reflects what’s been going on in my life. Part of me wants to figure how to take it to the next level. I’m feeling an affinity for this card of late….
|1) What is the hidden question of Justice?||IX of Pentacles||<|
|2) How can I answer it?||VIII of Wands|
|3) What calls me to rise up / become something new?||King of Pentacles|
|4) What can I become?||VI of Wands|
|5) How can my life change?||The Hanged Man|
|6) What/Who will change around me?||The Moon|
|7) How am I called to answer?||Knight of Cups|
1) What is the hidden question of Judgement? IX of Pentacles
“According to some you have all you need. Past life memory is silent, yet you know there has to be more”
“You are doing quite well. No need to confide. Eventually silent karma will be a reality”
“Do not isolate yourself. Look at possible new interests. A substantial offer made if accepted will change your life style” (EC pg 286)
“Self-discipline, achievement, the possibility to create a good life for yourself” (RPTW pg373)
Hmmm, please word your answer in the form of a question. What would be the hidden question of judgement? How do I pass it on? If I have good fortune, what do I do with it? How can I feel worthy? How can I pass it on? Also to me feeling gratitude for everything that has come my way, even the hard lessons.Also how can I be satisfied no matter what comes my way? How do I accept bad and good as being the working out of a perfect universe? Those questions echo through my head with this card.
2) How can I answer it? VIII of Wands
“Get everything in order. Be ready for action. Good news coming fast. You may need extra funds. cut spending.”
“Coping isn’t everything. You should be busy organizing so that you can move forward.” (EC p218)
Overall with this card , there is a feeling of rapid forward positive motion and plans moving forward in a positive way. and maybe that would be the answer to what to do with success and how to be worthy of success given, forward motion in an organized way, not striving but not stopping, leaning into the flow of the river so to speak and allowing the forward motion to happen rather than slowing it down…
3) What calls me to rise up / become something new? King of Pentacles
“Wealth, success comfort security. He may focus on material things but more with satisfaction and pride then selfishness or obsession”
“Grounding ideas in solid reality, speaking about what you know from your own experience” (RPTW p 433)
This card when it has shown up for readings in the past almost always refers to my father. This makes quite a bit of sense when you consider how much of what I have done in my life has been in response to my perceptions of my father’s views and opinions, of me. The fact that lately, despite what I have earned and done in the last 6-8 years fostering, etc. he has still been basically asking when I intend to get a real job rankles. The fact that he echos an internal voice of mine increases the pressure but again given the other two cards so far, right movement at the right time and appreciating my success with forward movement….
4) What can I become? VI of Wands
“Compliments and admiration of your ability bring you to the winning post. Time to do what you do best. Success and more”
“Are you doing what you really want to do? Follow your heart that is where your future lies”
“Explore and expand potential. Don’t get too wrapped up with mundane obligations. Spread your winds and fly.” (EC p 214-215)
Other meanings talk about well-recognized and hard won victories and indeed 6 would be the hear of an endeavor, so I will find my way to the heart of things and be triumphant. If I learn my lessons and use my motivation in an organized way that allows movement forward.
5. How can my life change? The Hanged Man
“It can mean being stuck, facing a painful sacrifice. ”
“The querent …may be an outsider, or with different values than other people, with no push to convince others and no need to seek other’s approval. Being tied to the tree means being connected to something outside yourself.”
“For people on a spiritual path, it may signal a moment of illumination or an actual initiation experience” (RPTW pg 155)
Two things come up with this card in this position for me. Sacrifice and being at rest or zeroed, in other words meditation. What needs to be sacrificed? A lot of excuses and a lot of rationalizations, anger, impatience, any illusions I may have that what I feel has causes outside my being. Also a certain amount of laziness, certain activities seem to be kicking into high gear for me. I can ride the wave or get wiped out and have to jump back on my board.
As far as being at rest and zeroed, i find meditation so incredible these days, letting myself go into rest, coming out energized, inspired and inspiring.
Still, and here the halfway nature of the Hanged Man comes in, and the fact that lines and paths have infinite nature, no matter where I feel I may be on the path, I can look in any direction, where I’ve come from, where I have yet to go, and all the possibilities untraveled and see the infinite. No matter where I may be, it seems to be the zero point. I have traveled an infinite distance, I still have that far to go. The journey already exists, whole and complete.
6) What/ Who will change around me? The Moon
“The Moon might indicate a difficult passage in someone’s life when powerful emotions or fears get stirred up”
“More positively, we can see the Moon as dreams, intuition and psychic development. It also means subtlety and sensitivity” (RPTW p.221)
Cycles of growth and learning, things continue to change, Illusions, myths, symbols and yet cyclical. This card would almost be worrisome, yet thanks to friends in the last year I have come to understand the Moon a bit better. I also wish to work more closely with these archetypes and am working a bit more on a course of study that will bring me into direct contact with them….
7) How am I called to answer? Knight of Cups
“Air of water could indicate the mind moving over the unconscious, stirring up deep feelings” (RWTW p 411)
“The Knight of Cups awakens the heart through the power of water, the energy of waves and currents. He is the lord of the deep places in each of us and the champion of our secrets”
Hmmm, I could imagine much worst cards in this position for an aspiring writer/artist to get. So is that it. Champion of secrets, the things we hold deep within us. Again tho, this possible link with the shamanistic stuff. … Still the journey remains interesting….