““We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
After watching yet another discussion in a Face Book group that started as a difference of opinion and degenerated unilaterally to name calling and hurt feelings (oddly enough on the part of the person doing the name calling I posted a question that’s been on my mind for awhile.
Why is it easier to attack someone who disagrees with you rather than looking at what they say and either make a case for your viewpoint or perhaps be willing to consider a new one? How do we change this in ourselves? It puzzles me how people can identify so strongly with their belief that an attack on the belief is equated in their minds to an attack on them and rather than respond to the opposing thought they respond to the person usually with accusations and name calling. “you’re being hurtful, you’re being judgemental” No he just disagrees.
I am not saying that everybody should be tolerant of opposing opinions. If you search your heart and you disagree with something, then state it, state why you disagree but do it like an adult. It is the viewpoints that are in opposition not the people. Who knows if I try to debate the idea and not the person I may turn out to be wrong. I may even learn and grow from it. My thinking may evolve. Whereas if i debate the person and feel hurt that they disagree and insult them I only paint myself as a jerk.
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Heart’s Tale by G A Rosenberg