“The art of being a warrior is to balance the wonder and the terror of being alive.” Fea
― Carlos Castaneda
To wake in wonder with sounds of nature all around. The sun rises painting the sky more colours than I thought possible. I look into the tent at my love sleeping and I am overwhelmed with joy. Then several months later I meet a three year old waiting to be adopted. His little hand in mine as he leads me to eat cookies with his stuffed tigger. Can I truly be this blessed? I wonder at the universe. Flowers and new born animals and puppies. Small kindnesses showed by strangers and people who I’d never expect it from. My spirit wakes in wonder every day.
Fear taps me on the shoulder. Fear that something could happen to my partner or our son or one of those I love. Am I adequate to the tasks that my life asks of me? What if I let someone down? What if I let myself down? What is that noise in the basement? How do I explain to an eight year old that his dog has passed? The whispers of fear make me shiver. I seldom listen but still that voice continues in its cold wet tones.
I can live with fear and wonder. They are both part of this life and my path. One leads me on and the other is my teacher and they both add to the fullness of life.
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