“You’ve got to know yourself. You’ve got to know what ignites your magic, what fires your soul into performing majestic acts of love. You’ve got to know yourself so much that not even a hundred voices will drown yours. You’ve got to own yourself, this journey is all yours. All yours. No one can do it and you decide whenever you are ready to embark on it. Unlearn, learn, master yourself and love yourself or else they will define you and that’s a poisonous kind of life. That’s death.”
— Ijeoma Umebinyuo
I will not be a victim. Oh there have been times in my life where I’ve been hurt by the actions or thoughts of another and I have faced betrayal. In some cases I saw it coming and I let it happen anyway. Even when I hadn’t tho I learned to move on. I cannot let myself be haunted and poisoned by the actions of others. I have seen that happen too often. Not that I necessarily forgave them. There is for me a space of acceptance in between acceptance and continued self-victimization from the deeds of another. Not so much “I forgive you” as “It happened. You had your reasons and the script was played out. I hurt but I won’t carry the hurt because neither you nor I deserve it.” Finding this space has been a hard won victory for me. Yet for me to live in the realm of past pain is to deny myself both the present and the future. Likewise I have learned that past triumphs neither guarantees nor entitles me to present and future ones. Each moment is a new test of the spirit that requires coming to it as clean as possible.
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