Relationships are great when you’re in them. I refer not only to love and sexual partnership relationships here but to friendships, mentor / mentee and almost any other type of way that two beings can interact. I’ve learned a lot about myself by how I have been mirrored in the eyes / being of another. I’ve drawn strength from my relationships and given it as well and discovered that there are an infinite number of ways that people can interact.
I have also learned a lot from ending relationships that no longer work or having them ended for me. I have been attacked by those who claimed to love me and care about me (even more rarely done the attacking but that is another story). The most difficult thing I have had to learn is how to move on from relationships that have grown destructive.
Thanks at least partly to social media, two former lovers or former friends can put on quite a show. They attack each other viciously, verbally, snidely, magically and intensely, anything to keep the intensity of feeling going. It doesn’t matter that it has grown ugly and destructive, the point seems to be to keep it going. Too bad they fail to see the collateral damage. In ending one relationship, other relationships tend to fall by the wayside. After all, seeing how a person ends one relationship sheds light on how they will end one with you. Are they obsessive or proactively working to move on with their lives?
Are they using everything that was ever told in confidence against the other person or are they playing fair? Are they expecting friends to choose sides?
The fun in dysfunctional fades very quickly. I know that I would rather say “thanks for the gifts” and move on.
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