Surfing the Schrodinger Wave

I am but am not

I hang five on the wave that never collapses

The uncertainty doesn’t bother me

The paradox can be paradoctored

It is I that decide

Ignoring the ten doors that lead to 10 kingdoms

I seek beyond the veil

facing the nightmares that make me i

until i find the not i through which the world changes.

Only if it matters not where i go or whether i go

can i continue

for if it matters then the matter contains me

and it is my will not to be contained.

Game For Friends

Each person should write down (or think of) 5-10 questions. The type that keep you awake pondering at 3 Am in the morning. The questions can be personal or philosophical. (ie “What should I do in this situation?” or “What is my purpose?”)

Then each person in turn pretends to be the personification of a higher being (according to their own belief system), such as an angel or a an alien from an advanced civilization. This person should listen to the questions that the other person (people) have written down and answer them with the first thing that comes to her/his mind.

Prepare to have some mind-blowing results.

Reflections–Then & Now

Who am I?
I ask the face in the mirror
What do you think about?
What makes you tick?
I can ask these questions all day
yet never get an answer
from the silent reflection
that lies within
I plead and I beg
Still the mirror never tells me
the things i need to know
I’ve lost touch with myself
over the years
I’ve built up defenses
so that i can not be hurt
especially from within
and so have become a hollow shell
Having run out of tears long ago
I cannot cry for anyone
not even myself
so cry for me someone
…please

–Gary Rosenberg 17

Welcome old friend
I greet my reflection
and thank you for joining me today
There’s no answer
but by his smile
i know its ok
and the greeting from my oldest friend is heartfelt
For a long while I thought we had lost touch
that i was but a shell
and he but an uncaring trick of the light
Little did i know that it was a cocoon
that would soon emerge
able to do, able to be, able to love and be loved
a sublime intricate moth
even if no butterfly
Who knew the old caterpillar had me inside.
If i could send him just one message
that caterpillar, so bitter, afraid and alone
through the ever patient reflection
that we have shared through time
“It gets better”

—Gary Rosenberg, 47

Facts about Me–Facebook Note February 11, 2009

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 (or more) people (in the right-hand corner of the page), then click Publish.)

1. I live in Canada tho was born and grew up in the USA. This gives me the ability to be with the person i love and to raise our son together.

2. One of my core values is a quote from Spider Robinson “Shared Joy is Increased, shared pain lessened”

3. I am fascinated by religion, myths, and legends. Anybody’s. Anytime’s. If you understand a person’s beliefs and their mythologies (cultural and personal) you are halfway to understanding the person

4. My mother with three children married my step-father with three children. To this day my mother hates Florence Henderson. Tho, if you read any of their auto-biographies it is pretty clear that not even the Brady Bunch was the Brady Bunch.

5. In my life professionally I have sold furniture, cleaned carpets, run convenience stores, run an Internet Service Provider, created webpages, trained and tutored people on how to use their computers, data-mined, read tarot cards and tea-leaves, owned and ran a used book and record store, ran workshops for self-advocates, facilitated life-planning meetings, foster-parented, and did community support work for people with disabilities.

6. I married Aaron in May of 1999. It was a Jewish Ceremony held in a Native American long house. A good deal of my family was in attendance.

7. Over the last 10 years Aaron and I have been foster parents to four kids, each with their own special needs. Niall, who is now an adult living on Vancouver Island, Mark, whom I home-schooled through 6th and part of 7th grade, who now lives in Vancouver, Terry, who also lives in Vancouver now who is still struggling quite a bit and his sister Amanda who is still with us who is graduating this year.

8. In 2002, Aaron and I became the proud parents of Zev Shane Ocean Johannes Rosenberg, then 3 now 10, a truly amazing kid.

9. I am a voracious reader and will enjoy reading just about anything. My current favorite writers are Neil Gaiman, Joseph Campbell, Christopher Rice, Spider Robinson, Susan Clarke, Michael Chabon and too many others.

10. I believe it is better to light a candle then to curse the darkness. One should make sure the candles are extinguished tho before going to sleep.

11. My family has 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 budgies and a brain-damaged rabbit named Luke Skyhopper.

12. At least 75% of the rumours about me are true 😉

13. Tho it is hopelessly stereotypical, I love theatre, particularly musicals. My favourites that i have seen recently are Spring Awakening and Little Shop of Horrors.

14. I love to sing tho I don’t do it well. Still I have an amazing memory for song lyrics.

15. I dabble at playing the guitar and keyboards.

16. I have been in every state in the lower 48 and hope to make it into Alaska and Hawaii.

17. I have pretty eclectic taste in music. These days about the only stuff I don’t enjoy listening to is Gangsta Rap and Death Metal and their variants tho could probably find music in both those categories that I respect.

18. Before we got married Aaron told me I would have to go camping outdoors at least once a year. I think he may even have written it into the marriage contract 🙂
And so I have. After 9 years, i am finally getting the hang of sleeping in at tent. Plus it is hard to resist when you camp next to the beaches out in nature and only in campgrounds that have showers and toilets 🙂

19. I have learned a lot from all four of my parents. From my father comes a sense that if i put my mind to it, I can achieve anything with hard work, brains and luck. Also most of the stranger aspects of my sense of humour come from my dad. From my mother, a sardonic quick wit and a sense of tact and when to use it and when not to. Also, I have learned how to make my kids know that I am there for them. From my step-father, a love of word play and a sense of tolerance. From my step-mother, I have the ability to fit into almost any social situation. That and much better posture 🙂

20. At 47 I have learned to accept responsibility for my own life. Was I raised perfectly. Hell no!!! Nobody ever showed my parents the manual on how to have a perfect family life. (Dang, nobody ever showed it to me either) At the same time, I have been an adult for over 25 years and have had responsibility for myself for more years than they have. i am the product of choices that I have made. The blame and credit falls on my shoulders. Life is too short to hold grudges or carry around childhood or teenage baggage.

21. Somewhere in the last several years, i have become someone I like to hang around with. That is a pretty amazing feeling.

22. As a family, our favourite television shows are Dr Who and its spinoffs (Torchwood and Sarah Jane Smith) adventures. British televeision in general rocks.

23. One of my favorite accomplishments of the past 10 years has been the workshops on Computer Safety for Self-Advocates that I have done. Being able to get up in front of a roomful of people and talk coherently for a few hours on one topic and hold their attention is never something that I thought I could do. Having it be fun and getting positive feedback from it has been amazing.

24. “If you can’t understand my silence, you will never understand my words.”

25.

Movie -Game Note from Facebook — December 19th 2008

Pick 16 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
Post them here for everyone to guess.
Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

1. The thing about trains… it doesn’t matter where they’re going. What matters is deciding to get on.–Aaron Johannes Polar Express

2. I stick my neck out for *nobody*!

3. I always gagged on the silver spoon. –Gary Probe – Citizen Kane

4. All right, you win. You win. I give. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME!

5. You wanna hit me? I would love it if you hit me! I’m married to a Jew, I’ve got nothing to lose! –Aaron Johannes– Hamlet 2

6. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. — Gary Probe — Star Wars

7. Now look, I once stood exposed to the Dragon’s Breath so that a man could lie one night with a woman. It took me nine moons to recover. And all for this lunacy called, “love, ” this mad distemper that strikes down both beggar and king. Never again. Never. Lauren Kelly– Excalibur

8. Watch now. I show you how to flip-flop the flop-flips–Aaron Johannes–Christmas in Connecticut

9.don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries — Carolynne Lewis-Arevalo – Monty Python and the Holy Grail

10 . Yes! Live! Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! –Aaron Johannes — Auntie Mame

11. If nothing else, there’s applause… like waves of love pouring over the footlights. –Aaron Johannes — All About Eve

12. I’m tired of men always coming and going, going and coming – and always too soon. — Carolynne Lewis-Arevalo — Blazing Saddles

13. Don’t try and fool me no more, Ennis; I know what it means! Jack Twist. Jack Nasty! You didn’t go up there to fish! –Gary Probe — Brokeback Mountain

14. Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. –Gary Probe –The Dark Knight

15. Look – you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin’ construction, I’ll fuckin’ kill you. That’s not a threat; now, that’s a fact. I’ll fuckin’ kill you. –Gary Probe — Good Will Hunting

16 When I turn twenty-one, I don’t want any more of this life. My mother and father will be surprised at the incredible change. It will impress them more when such a fuck-up like me turns good than if I had been a good son all along. All the past years I will think of as one big vacation. At least it wasn’t as boring as schoolwork. All my bad behavior I’m going to throw away to pay my debt. I will change when everybody expects it the least. –Barbara Youngstrom — My Own Private Idaho

A New Day Dawns

Which is a bit strange to say at 10:39 in the evening. Still I figure WordPress might be a nice place to start fiddling around with thoughts, ideas, book reviews, videos i like, political thoughts or any other damn thing I might feel like expressing.

Current Books I am reading: Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison; Memories of Ice by Stephen Erikson; The Mental Floss History of the World

Last Movie seen: Madagascar II

Mood: Pretty great

Video

Older blog posts : grosenberg.livejournal.com

The Universe Lies Within