Linking Real

“So books are real to me, too; they link me not just with other minds but with the vision of other minds, what those minds understand and see. I see their worlds as well as I see my own.”
― Philip K. Dick

 

Feeling my heart open
feeling my wounds bleed
My blood spilling out
of view and precious need
to reveal what’s inside
That spark of truth
that separates bifurcates
my age from my youth
I lied to myself
so easily when young
seeing myself in the lyrics I sung
or the books that i read
heroic tales
grandiose successes
dramatic fails
the passage of time
did honesty bring
those old half truths
no longer would fling
so now I can bleed
confessions and truth
I no longer need
the protections of youth
— GAR

 

Wow, where did that come from…Partly the wish to be more open and then realizing that its easier to be honest with time… There is both less reason and less desire to hide… Not that it was ever necessary. Hiding sent me on some amazing adventures as did eventually facing myself…
Blessings, G

 

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Sacrifice and RenewalSacrifice and Renewal by G A Rosenberg

 

Mandala with Flame threadsMandala with Flame Threads by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – March 24 2013

“Do you have any advice for your readers?”

“Lead the life that’s yours instead of faking someone else’s.”
― Sandy Nathan

 

That’s some amazing advice from Sandy Nathan.  For so many years I felt insecure about being myself around people. I would find role models, usually peers and model myself after them in how I spoke and my general demeanour. I had the hardest time understanding why every couple of months while I was doing that I would have an almost total break down and descent into a pretty black mood. My authentic self was rattling at the door of the cage I had put it in trying to break free. I had some amazing adventures along the way and each time as I would loose another adapted persona, more and more of who I really am emerged.
No one can hide from themselves and the world forever. We can try to pretend to be someone else (a teacher, a performer we admire, a religious leader).  We can even try to become one of the many identity tags we take on (lawyer, doctor, catholic, jew, gay, female) and be an exemplary cliche of how we believe that someone with that identity should act. If it is not authentic, it will fall apart in time. That’s ok, whenever that happens, our real selves get closer. After all, its not only someone else’s life that we can’t get away with faking, it is our own as well.
Blessings, G

 

 

 

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PresencePresence by G A Rosenberg

 

Tiger SketchTiger Sketch by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – March 10 2013

“The worst thing you can do is censor yourself as the pencil hits the paper. You must not edit until you get it all on paper. If you can put everything down, stream-of-consciousness, you’ll do yourself a service.”
― Stephen Sondheim

 

Yet we do censor ourselves or I do, not only when I write but when I speak as well. I used to say it was because I didn’t want to offend. It is only relatively recently that I realized it has more to do with avoidance of conflict and over concern with what people think of me. Slowly this is changing and my authenticity grows. Still tho I find particularly with those closest I do them and myself the disservice of not speaking my truth and then harbouring resentments in order to have peace in the home.  Still each day I find my voice more. The strange thing is the more i communicate what I have problems with the more alternatives I can find to solutions and the more I unknot. What other areas is this happening in?
Blessings, G

 

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Externalizing the ProcessExternalizing the Process by G A Rosenberg

 

Mindfield 5Mindfield 5 by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – March 1 2013

“To bare our souls is all we ask, to give all we have
to life and the beings surrounding us.
Here the nature spirits are intense and we appreciate them,
make offerings to them – these nature spirits who call us here –
sealing our fate with each other,
celebrating our love.”
– Alex Grey

 

To bare my soul, to speak my truth without fear, to scream out who i am even when unhappy even when I despair tho I know that is of the moment. To admit that I don’t always love those whom I should as much as I should and sometimes I feel the strain. To speak of the unbearable joy that can be found in a moment of creation, of surrendering my hands to whatever part of me creates. To know and own each bit of love, of bliss, of anger, of joy of fear. Damn it that’s the hardest, owning the fear, so much easier of pushing it away and aside tho it casts such a big shadow. maybe I can’t love and maybe I am unloveable yet no evidence for either exists…maybe I’m not good enough, strong enough, wise enough…but then a wiser part speaks out, “enough for whom, you are what you need to be now, you are growing and improving, if some lessons return, then those are the ones you need” I am grateful for that voice…
Blessings, G

 

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Velocity Mandala
Velocity Mandala by G A Rosenberg
Mind Field 4Mind Field #4  (Grey Eggshells) by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – August 12 2012

“If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness. Would the world be a worse place for it? No, people would be fairer and happier.”
―Paulo Coelho

 

I believe we all have a little bit of craziness in us. Quite often it is where our creativity lies and the more we can channel it, the better we can express ourselves. Far too often we tend to repress it and become envious of people who let theirs have freer reign.  Do we fear our crazy because we feel that once expressed the genie cannot be put back into the bottle? Can we let our freak flag fly knowing that we can choose the time, place and circumstance for it. I believe to a large extent we can at least to the extent that our lives authentically express who we are. I mean we all learned the social conventions game at an early age. As we’ve grown older we’ve realized that not everyone plays it the same way and like it or not some people will think our normal exceeds their crazy. Of course most often they are the ones who tend to run into difficulties at a later stage in life with problems either physical or emotional due to suppression of their authentic selves. At the very least their lives tend to have the colour range of a watercolour left in the rain for too long. Far better from my standpoint anyway to live authentically in vibrant colours a happier expressed life.

Blessings, G

 

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Expansion by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – July 11 2012

“Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a false messiah.”
― Richard Bach

 

It’s funny really. I began this collection of quotes about identity this week thinking I would quickly reach a destination and yet it seems that the journey like most has taken me down some routes I didn’t quite expect. Yesterday’s reflection on authenticity vs social expectations was one and it started  both externally (through some brilliant comments) and internally some side streams that are still ongoing.

Nicholas Ambrose (http://nicolasambrose.com/) was one of the commenters and he offered this quote from the book Illusions and that book so connects to this topic that I included it as tonight’s quote. One of the biggest issues that Donald Shimoda, one of Bach’s main characters in Illusions has to resolve is the relative importance of other people to his mission in life. For me of late similar issues have come up. How can I balance the relationships I have in my life and still be true to myself? Both of Bach’s main characters in Illusions were loners mainly living solitary lives. This is not true for me and while my relationships challenge my sense of self they also provide the stability necessary for me to pursue inner discovery. What is the higher truth? When we know the answer to that question how do we act on it? How do we learn to trust it? These questions and more have arisen and many feel unresolved. Resolution exists tho of that I am sure.

Blessings, G

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Atomic Chamber by G A Rosenberg
Phoenix Blood by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – July 10 2012

“Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

For only the second or third time since I started doing the daily quote I am including a quote that I am having a difficult time with. Oh the basic idea I agree with that ideally we should live our lives in such a way as to express honestly who we are at any moment. Yet in the lives most of us live there seem to arise times when it is necessary to smile. Showing anger at your boss in social situations does not lend to job security. Becoming frustrated around in-laws is not conducive to harmony in marriage.

I am not advocating phoniness. In these types of situations I try to find reasons to smile. It’s all a matter of focus. Do you pay attention to your boss belittling you in subtle or not so subtle jabs or do you enjoy the decor of the resturant or the beautiful hillside and sunset? There is always something positive to focus on tho sometimes it can be difficult to do it. Tho with practice it becomes easier. For me it comes down to this Do I want to be the guy who is usually and easily frustrated or the guy who finds something to enjoy in most situations?
Blessings, G

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Forces at  Work by G A  Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – July 9 2012

“You will be required to do wrong no matter where you go. It is the basic condition of life, to be required to violate your own identity. At some time, every creature which lives must do so. It is the ultimate shadow, the defeat of creation; this is the curse at work, the curse that feeds on all life. Everywhere in the universe.”
― Philip K. Dick

How do I identify myself? What is my identity? Is each I AM statement that I make something I must surpass? Can that be seen as the betrayal or curse that PKD speaks of in this quote? I identified myself as a member of the Unification Church. For months I tried to make myself into the model of a church member even as evidence against the church’s teachings started piling up both internally and externally. Eventually I left betraying many of the teachings subsequently. This pattern has repeated with almost every aspect of my life as self-chosen identity after self-chosen identity became discarded like a pile of outgrown clothes. Now I find even the current identity and familial paradigms that I live with coming into question and I struggle betwe see full-sen obligation and authenticity.

So when my identity, the life roles I have chosen for myself come into conflict with the core of my being, how do I resolve this? What other issues are involved in living a life of authenticity and what must I betray in order to be my true self? Time I know will resolve this as it does most things so then I figure out what the priorities are. The way out always brings us to a higher part of the spiral.
Blessings, G

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The Offered Key by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day February 19 2012

” All people are born potentially telepathic—but that if we’re ever going to get any message-traffic capacity, we must first shovel the shit out of the Communications Room.”
— Spider Robinson

An interesting thread came up today in a couple of FB groups I was in. Something a friend had posted reminded me of a story by Spider Robinson that I read.

“I know, son, I know. The Second Commandment of Leary: ‘Thou shalt not alter thy brother’s consciousness without his consent.’ So how about retroactive consent?”

“Say again.”

“The aftereffects. I’ve administered the drug to blind volunteers. They knew only that they were sampling a new psychedelic of unknown effect. In each case I gave a preliminary ‘attitude survey’ questionnaire with a few buried questions. In fourteen cases I satisfied myself that the subject would probably not have taken the drug if he or she had known its effect. In about three-quarters of them I damn well knew it. The effects were the same for all but one. All fourteen of them experienced major life upheaval—usually irreversible and quite against their will—while under the effects of the drug. They all became violently angry at me after they came down. Then all fourteen stormed off to try and put their lives back together. Thirteen of them were back within a week, asking me to lay another hit on them.”

Zack’s eyes widened. “Addictive on a single hit. Jesus.”

“No, no!” George said exasperatedly. “It’s not the drug that’s addictive, dammit. It’s the truth that’s addictive. Every one of those people came back for, like, three-four hits, and then they stopped coming by. I checked up on the ones I was in a position to. They had just simply rearranged their lives on solid principles of truth and honesty and begun to live that way all the time. They didn’t need the drug anymore. Every damn one of them thanked me. One of them fucked me, sweetly and lovingly—at my age.”

– From “Satan’s Children” by Spider Robinson.

Something I heard a while back;

A few years ago, a friend of mine asked me the question “If you could have two wishes granted by an all-powerful, all good, all knowing genie, what would they be?”

I thought for a few seconds and then answered “I don’t need two wishes. I only need one.”

My friend argued with me briefly that, based on a complex logical analysis, I really did need two wishes, the first of which was to set up the conditions for the second one.

I repeated, “I don’t need two wishes. I only need one.”

He replied, “Okay, what is it?”

“I would wish for what is best.”

He continued to try to find reasons why his analysis was superior to mine. To each of these I replied “Would the results of your wish be better than the results of mine?”

“Yes. And here’s why…”

I patiently explained that the results of his wish could not possibly be better than mine, because I wished only for what was best. By definition, nothing could be better than what is best.

He countered that with “But what if what is best isn’t what is best for me?”

That was a little bit more difficult than the original question of what to wish for in the first place, but I shortly realized the answer wasn’t much more complicated: “Then you should change so that what is best is best for you.”

I believe this is within the reach of each of us, and if we accept the challenge, the world will be a different and better place.
From Vajrah Krishna, Possibility Magazine:

The story and the quote have been circling around inside. I reread the story and it occurred to me that what the first person asked for was not HIS best but THE best, an objective utopia if you please.
When his friend asks what if the objective best is not his personal best, he is told to change to that objective standard.

When I realized that various debates started to take place in my head all about the sovereignty of the individual vs the collective will etc (all the usual suspects) when it occurred to me that that argument in this case is without substance. Oh it would be true, if it was one person or a group of being’s view of what was best or even if it was the genii’s idea of what was best but that is not what the wish was, it was what was Best. Objective.
Then I started wondering what that objective best would look like. What qualities would people have, what would the basis of the society be (more specifically than just those two words)

Then I remembered the story Satan’s Children by Spider Robinson and I thought he was onto something. At the very least THE best of all Possible worlds would be one where honesty reigned not only between people but self-honesty (total).
Could poverty or inequality happen in a world where honesty reigned? Not that I could see. With honesty comes justice.

With honesty also to my mind comes empathy. From my experience, empathy is a natural element of the human psyche and it takes a lot of self-talk and interference to turn it off. (school systems and commercial TV have worked years on it)
Along with empathy, let’s add other elements that seem to be repressed by most modern societies. Curiosity and Spirituality among them

What do you think?
Blessings, G

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Cosmic Mandala by G A Rosenberg

Eye of The Storm

Quote of the Day – February 18 2012

““We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
–May Sarton

After watching yet another discussion in a Face Book group that started as a difference of opinion and degenerated unilaterally to name calling and hurt feelings (oddly enough on the part of the person doing the name calling I posted a question that’s been on my mind for awhile.
Why is it easier to attack someone who disagrees with you rather than looking at what they say and either make a case for your viewpoint or perhaps be willing to consider a new one? How do we change this in ourselves? It puzzles me how people can identify so strongly with their belief that an attack on the belief is equated in their minds to an attack on them and rather than respond to the opposing thought they respond to the person usually with accusations and name calling. “you’re being hurtful, you’re being judgemental” No he just disagrees.
I am not saying that everybody should be tolerant of opposing opinions. If you search your heart and you disagree with something, then state it, state why you disagree but do it like an adult. It is the viewpoints that are in opposition not the people. Who knows if I try to debate the idea and not the person I may turn out to be wrong. I may even learn and grow from it. My thinking may evolve. Whereas if i debate the person and feel hurt that they disagree and insult them I only paint myself as a jerk.

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Heart’s Tale by G A Rosenberg