Tag Archives: autobiographical

Universal Snake Wisdom

“I’ve always liked reptiles. I used to see the universe as a mammoth snake, and I used to see all the people and objects, landscapes, as little pictures in the facets of their scales. I think peristaltic motion is the basic life movement. Swallowing,”
–Jim Morrison

 

Ol Matthew the gospel writer had JC telling his apostles “Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” Indeed there is wisdom in the rising of the coiled snake as we activate our chakras. There is also wisdom in how a snake sheds its skin. May we all be as open to losing that which no longer suits us. May we learn a snake’s sense of timing and understand its rhythm as we awaken.
I’ve never quite understood people’s fear or dislike of reptiles. When I was a kid at summer camp, I would end up bringing frogs and snakes home as hopeful pets. I was fascinated by their movements and their ability to in my mind focus on what they considered essential. Years later when I learned how snakes fed, I gained awareness and understanding of how life fed on life. Funny how lessons from our youth deepen and gain new facets as we get older.
Blessings, G

 

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Snakes on the ShadowSnakes on the Shadow by G A Rosenberg

 

Serpentine duotoneDuotone Serpentine by G A Rosenberg

No Wrong Turns

“There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk.”
― Guy Gavriel Kay

 

Different turnings…10 yr old with red wagon delivering newspapers in the rise of the Connecticut sun with his dog walking alongside…the night before he dreamt his parents fought and split up and somehow he ended up first with his mother than with his father…15 yr old in New Jersey kissing his first girl friend, his mother and step-father say they have to have the bedroom door open at all times..17 yr old walking with his buddy down the road to adventure. They want to hitch hike out of Connecticut and see what life there is outside of high school. His parents watch them go and are not particularly surprised when he ends up in a religious cult in California…25 yr old hitchhiking with his lover across the US. In Utah they watch the two kids who gave them a ride wiping their prints off the car and he knows they must move quickly. 28 years old and giving tarot readings in Toronto .. 36, back in CT doing web design and he meets the love of his life online…43, he picks his son up from pre-school and takes him for ice cream. 46, a new spiritual awakening and a new career as an artist in Vancouver.
Funny, how each turn in the path when you look back on it seems inevitable. They have all led to this moment in this place. Yet who could have looked ahead and seen them? Still during the darkest moments, what has always kept me going is wonder. Wondering at how much I’ve come through so far and even more curiosity and wonder at what may come next.
Blessings, G

 

Click on images to see full-sized:

 

under arch rock formation in MoroccoDate Night 2 by G A Rosenberg

 

Spreading The Signal AbstractionPropagating the Signal by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – October 2 2012

“The more we know, the better we forgive. Those who feel deeply feel for all living beings.”
–Madame de Stael

 

More on empathy:

When I lived in Boston, I met a friend whom I learned quite a lot from. Things like the difference between a want and a need. In a few of the many conversations we had, he talked about various addictions he had. One to crack cocaine that he demonstrated and also his attraction to children.
He explained to me that he believed that we’re attracted to others who are the same emotional age as ourselves and that on some level he knew he was very young.
He realized it was an abuse of authority and removed himself, at least at the time I knew him, from that temptation…
Still he realized it in himself…
Understanding it from his point of view I could see it. I didn’t feel the temptation myself nor did I condone his acting on it…yet I could understand where he was coming from..

I have always felt this need to understand other’s viewpoints. I’m not sure if it reflects an incompleteness in myself or the opposite but it seems like time and time again I have been drawn into the lives of some of the most diverse people, usually befriending them and ultimately at least getting a glimpse of the world behind their eyes. This has given me insight but also has kept me often hovering around the edges examining the paths of others rather than choosing one for myself. Oh I have a life, married, kids, the works but as far as a definitive viewpoint, not so much. I rather like it that way but still get rather wistful at people with strong beliefs.

Blessings, G

 

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In the Shadows by G A Rosenberg

 

Dark Flower by G A Rosenberg

Letting Go, Emanations, Reflections (Part II)

Before I left the Moonies, a few things happened that were to become fairly relevant in my life. So much of my time there, particularly the last few months was a struggle of faith.  Everyone around me seemed so solid in their faith and were sure they had the answers and all I had were questions I could barely formulate. For the first time in my life I believed that God existed and that there was a purpose to it all but surely it had more to do than trying to make up for sins that our ancestors had done. Sensing my doubts, the people who were the leaders of the branch of the church had me stay at their training camp in the Nappa Valley. They figured that being trained constantly would be a good influence on my behaviour. Perhaps it was.

So one day I was with a group that consisted of myself, Dorie, our group leader for the week and a bunch of new recruits, there for their 21 days of training and indoctrination. One of the latter was an older woman, named Myrtle, her grandkids had joined the church and she was checking it out and trying to understand what it was all about. We were going on a group hike to discuss the lecture that we had just heard. I was probably at my lowest ebb. Depressed and trying to inspire, it felt more than a little schizophrenic . Myrtle was a charming woman with a warm smile and large amounts of empathy.

As we walked up the hill, Myrtle holding onto my arm for balance, I found myself praying “God, Heavenly father, please give me an answer.” All of a sudden, I felt the sun on me. I became aware of everything around me, every flower, every tree, every blade of grass and I felt that I fit and that it was right. Not that I fit where I was but that I fit wherever I was. I was right and everything was right. I existed as part of everything and that I was loved. Not as a Moonie but as myself. That moment seemed to go on forever and yet only last a second. I found that I couldn’t explain what had happened to anybody else there, even Myrtle. To be more accurate, I doubt that anyone even noticed and yet for me the effect was profound. I believe that this experience helped give me the courage to leave when I felt it was time. In all the years to come, the quest for that feeling has taken me many places both internally and externally.

Letting go; Emanations, Reflections (Part 1)

Note: Last night when I started this entry, I thought it would be much shorter. I seem to have gotten caught up in reflections of the past. Still, that being said, I’ll go with it. I admit to having a certain curiosity where it is all leading. For those of you who read this blog for the tarot readings, feel free to only read those ( i should be doing the first reading associated with the Death card either tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest)

It feels strange this time around. Watching people getting so caught up in…culture? concrete mundane reality? the matrix? The cultural reality tunnel that dictates that each person give the same unconsidered knee-jerk responses that their peers do? It seems like a good deal of my life has been trying to find the right</strongreality tunnel for myself. The one that I could cling to. The compass and center that could guide me. Only to find that…
Lots and lots of answers that seem to work for other people don’t work for me. Oh they all feel good for awhile. Faith is an amazing thing. I have met people with faith that glowed like a campfire on a cool summer evening and I just wanted to warm myself by that fire and gain that kind of conviction for myself..
I could list all the answers I’ve tried that I’ve seen work for others but I have a sneaking suspicion that it would sound like the lyrics to John Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance” None of those tunnels worked for me. I’d get caught up in them and eventually some contradiction or something that just didn’t jibe would arise and each time an inner voice would speak to me:
“Go”
“Wha…?”
“It’s time to go!”
“But what about…?”
GO NOW!!!!
“OK”
and whatever situation I was in, I would leave by the fastest, most direct route out of there.
I followed similar paths going from organized religion (Jewish) to Scientific Atheist 😉 (I was 15) to believing myself an agnostic, open and exploring everything (including satanism to get on the nerves of my baby sister’s fundamentalist nanny I was 16.).
When I was 17 my best friend and I left our homes in CT and decided that we were going to see if there was life outside of high school. We ended up in San Francisco through a combination of hitchhiking and Greyhound and promptly joined the Unification Church (the Moonies). Well, we only had $20 between us and they did offer a free meal ;). I ended up staying with the Moonies for five months (my friend had left after 3 due to parental duress). I immersed myself in them, believing that at last I had found an answer that this was a path I could take. But then the questionz crept in. Little contradictions in the behaviour of the people running the church. Inconsistencies between their system of beliefs and their practices. . I went to the California head of the church and told him about my confusion. He told me that at 17, I should be more interested in baseball than in spiritual matters??!!! Not long after that the voice inside me said “go’ so I left and went back to my father’s house in CT.
I felt shattered. For five months, I had tried on a whole new way of looking at myself and the world around me. I believed that I knew how everything fit together and now….? I was pretty sure that I . no longer buy into the beliefs of the Unification Church but then what did I believe? I felt like reality had pulled the chair out from under me. .
I didn’t get a whole lot of sympathy from my family or the people around me. My father and step-mother seemed to feel that I should be repentant and apologetic. I felt like I needed some understanding. Couldn’t they see that I was not the same kid who had left five months before? Couldn’t they tell that I did not perceive them in the same way? I did a lot of yelling that spring. Also a bit of negotiating. My friend and I had left in December I had been a junior and he a senior in the CT prep school that we both went to. I went in and talked to the Assistant Headmaster and His Wife, the Dean of Studies at the school and arranged that If I took and passed a combination of summer courses at the University next door and a few other courses with teacher who was willing then I could rejoin my class for Senior year.
Around a week after I returned, I got another surprise. The friend whom I had left town with John had found another answer that worked for him He had accepted Jesus Christ as his saviour…..

As trite as this may sound…the hour grows late and I grow tired. This will probably be continued. Feel free to comment, question, or anything else you may wish.

Facts about Me–Facebook Note February 11, 2009

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 (or more) people (in the right-hand corner of the page), then click Publish.)

1. I live in Canada tho was born and grew up in the USA. This gives me the ability to be with the person i love and to raise our son together.

2. One of my core values is a quote from Spider Robinson “Shared Joy is Increased, shared pain lessened”

3. I am fascinated by religion, myths, and legends. Anybody’s. Anytime’s. If you understand a person’s beliefs and their mythologies (cultural and personal) you are halfway to understanding the person

4. My mother with three children married my step-father with three children. To this day my mother hates Florence Henderson. Tho, if you read any of their auto-biographies it is pretty clear that not even the Brady Bunch was the Brady Bunch.

5. In my life professionally I have sold furniture, cleaned carpets, run convenience stores, run an Internet Service Provider, created webpages, trained and tutored people on how to use their computers, data-mined, read tarot cards and tea-leaves, owned and ran a used book and record store, ran workshops for self-advocates, facilitated life-planning meetings, foster-parented, and did community support work for people with disabilities.

6. I married Aaron in May of 1999. It was a Jewish Ceremony held in a Native American long house. A good deal of my family was in attendance.

7. Over the last 10 years Aaron and I have been foster parents to four kids, each with their own special needs. Niall, who is now an adult living on Vancouver Island, Mark, whom I home-schooled through 6th and part of 7th grade, who now lives in Vancouver, Terry, who also lives in Vancouver now who is still struggling quite a bit and his sister Amanda who is still with us who is graduating this year.

8. In 2002, Aaron and I became the proud parents of Zev Shane Ocean Johannes Rosenberg, then 3 now 10, a truly amazing kid.

9. I am a voracious reader and will enjoy reading just about anything. My current favorite writers are Neil Gaiman, Joseph Campbell, Christopher Rice, Spider Robinson, Susan Clarke, Michael Chabon and too many others.

10. I believe it is better to light a candle then to curse the darkness. One should make sure the candles are extinguished tho before going to sleep.

11. My family has 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 budgies and a brain-damaged rabbit named Luke Skyhopper.

12. At least 75% of the rumours about me are true 😉

13. Tho it is hopelessly stereotypical, I love theatre, particularly musicals. My favourites that i have seen recently are Spring Awakening and Little Shop of Horrors.

14. I love to sing tho I don’t do it well. Still I have an amazing memory for song lyrics.

15. I dabble at playing the guitar and keyboards.

16. I have been in every state in the lower 48 and hope to make it into Alaska and Hawaii.

17. I have pretty eclectic taste in music. These days about the only stuff I don’t enjoy listening to is Gangsta Rap and Death Metal and their variants tho could probably find music in both those categories that I respect.

18. Before we got married Aaron told me I would have to go camping outdoors at least once a year. I think he may even have written it into the marriage contract 🙂
And so I have. After 9 years, i am finally getting the hang of sleeping in at tent. Plus it is hard to resist when you camp next to the beaches out in nature and only in campgrounds that have showers and toilets 🙂

19. I have learned a lot from all four of my parents. From my father comes a sense that if i put my mind to it, I can achieve anything with hard work, brains and luck. Also most of the stranger aspects of my sense of humour come from my dad. From my mother, a sardonic quick wit and a sense of tact and when to use it and when not to. Also, I have learned how to make my kids know that I am there for them. From my step-father, a love of word play and a sense of tolerance. From my step-mother, I have the ability to fit into almost any social situation. That and much better posture 🙂

20. At 47 I have learned to accept responsibility for my own life. Was I raised perfectly. Hell no!!! Nobody ever showed my parents the manual on how to have a perfect family life. (Dang, nobody ever showed it to me either) At the same time, I have been an adult for over 25 years and have had responsibility for myself for more years than they have. i am the product of choices that I have made. The blame and credit falls on my shoulders. Life is too short to hold grudges or carry around childhood or teenage baggage.

21. Somewhere in the last several years, i have become someone I like to hang around with. That is a pretty amazing feeling.

22. As a family, our favourite television shows are Dr Who and its spinoffs (Torchwood and Sarah Jane Smith) adventures. British televeision in general rocks.

23. One of my favorite accomplishments of the past 10 years has been the workshops on Computer Safety for Self-Advocates that I have done. Being able to get up in front of a roomful of people and talk coherently for a few hours on one topic and hold their attention is never something that I thought I could do. Having it be fun and getting positive feedback from it has been amazing.

24. “If you can’t understand my silence, you will never understand my words.”

25.