Life, Free of Hope, Free of Despair

 

“Write a little every day, without hope, without despair.”
— Isak Dinesen

 

Hope is easy. We all dream of what we may accomplish one day or what we would like to have in our lives that may not be there as yet. Yet hope is just a vision. We have to be willing to work to make the hopes happen or at least to provide space in our lives for their fulfilment. All too often we become so busy hoping for things to get better that we forget to do anything else.
When our hopes don’t become immediately gratified or when they get dashed too many times, it is all too easy to give way to despair. We fear that our dreams will never come true and that things will stay as they are without improvement. That too is an illusion for change is a constant and things (or at least how we feel about them) will improve and worsen in their cycle. Yet when despair has us by the neck it becomes all too easy to give up on life and spend our time wallowing in it.
If we could give up on both hope and despair then we can actually live our lives, doing what we can to improve them or other things that oft if they are interesting enough keep us too busy to either aimlessly hope or mindlessly despair. Who knows maybe without the emotional roller coaster that these two horses take us on, we can actually start making our dreams come true.
Blessings, G

 

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Manifesting ShadowsManifesting Shadows by G A Rosenberg

 

A New UnderstandingA New Understanding by G A Rosenberg

 

Forging Ahead

 

“It is not we who seek the Way, but the Way which seeks us. That is why you are faithful to it, even while you stand waiting, so long as you are prepared, and act the moment you are confronted by its demands.”

~ Dag Hammarskjöld

 

Along our paths, we all hit some bumps. Things happen in our life or our attitudes that make it difficult to continue forward. Perhaps we have become disenchanted with the school of thought we’ve been following. Perhaps we have been going through relationship ups and downs either with lovers or with friends. When that happens it is easy to give into despair or inertia. Instead tho, I have always believed that it is important to do the next thing. It’s ok if the road ahead isn’t clear, all we need to see is the next thing that needs doing and doing that. Eventually things will clarify and we will make that turn in our path and see the next section. Until then we just need to keep forging ahead.
Blessings, G

 

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Hephestus, Lord of the ForgeHephaestus, Lord of the Forge by G A Rosenberg

 

Finding An Old Internal Friend

 

“Our going forth to find the greater Self is by the path we know least; by losing ourselves until we find ourselves.”
— Austin Osman Spare- The Logomachy of Zos

 

I know what it is to feel lost. Either through not knowing the right step to take when all the choices look either deceptively good or deceptively bad or by being so flooded by contradictory information that I don’t know which way to turn. As I’ve written before, I have grown somewhat comfortable with not having all the answers and it would be vastly out of character if I was to act as if I did. Yet sometimes the questions feel more crucial. How do I help those I love to feel safe and happy? How can I help others when I don’t know which way to turn? What if after all this time discovering even a part of who I am, I find that that part is not workable in the life that I live? Sometimes it can feel pretty dark yet it is at those times that something astounding happens. I hear a voice inside my head saying “Shhhhhh, it’s not as important as you think and you will make it through.”. That voice, that inner clown mother that tells me I am taking things way too seriously and that the only way to get through anything is just flow through till I make it. If I start drowning, I just need to keep kicking. Either I’ll make it to the surface or I’ll drown trying and that will just be another beginning. Sometimes I don’t have to win, I just have to survive . It’s the giving up that will destroy me. If times are hard for awhile, that’s just what they’ll be. That practical somewhat hopeful side of me is one I haven’t seen for awhile and I’ve missed it. An old internal friend has returned and as long as I keep going will not disappear again.
Blessings, G

 

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Pan in the Techno JunglePan in the Techno Jungle by G A Rosenberg

 

Surrendering Her Passion For MemorySurrendering Her Passion For Memory by G A Rosenberg

 

Soul’s Grey Evening

 

“I overcame myself, the sufferer;
I carried my own ashes to the mountains;
I invented a brighter flame for myself.
And behold, then this ghost fled from me.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche

 

There are days when little of what we do seems worthwhile. Days where it feels like all our efforts whether for self-development or for love or for understanding has left us either back where we started or perhaps even further down than that. Our faults scream at us from our own heads, perhaps echoed by those around us and we despair. Oh it sounds poetic but feeling it is hellful and even if it doesn’t blossom into the soul’s dark night it can make for a pretty grey stormy evening that repeated too often leaves one with ashes in their mouth. It is in those times when we most need to keep humour and perspective even if they feel far away. Share our burdens with friends or even with the night sky and our personal deities and begin that climb again. It may be the labours of Sisyphus yet little seems more worthwhile than the journey. Eventually those grey ghosts leave and our spirits are lifted once more.
Blessings, G

 

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Ritual SpaceRitual Space by G A Rosenberg

 

Spider Gateway Through Reality StormSpider Gateway Through Reality Storm by G A Rosenberg

 

In Winter, Summer

 

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
― Albert Camus

 

Funny how hope and despair go together so well. Tthe times when I was most fullest in the dark, when storm clouds gathered around my head almost visibly and I couldn’t see the way out, would not have felt nearly as bad if I couldn’t realize the absence of any sun or happiness. Perhaps just as we have our shadow selves, our lives do too and these dark nights are the shadow of our lives. Perhaps like Camus suggests they are part of the regular cycles which makes much sense when you think about it. During those happy moments when everything feels right and the universe clicks, there is that in us which realizes that the dark times are far as possible. We all integrate winter and summer most times living in an integrated Spring or Autumn time…
Blessings, G

 

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Returning From a DreamReturning From a Dream by G A Rosenberg

 

Scarlet PriestessScarlet Priestess by G A Rosenberg

Understandings — A Mash-Up

“If you really want to change the world, you must first understand it adequately, or all you will do is reproduce in larger numbers your own ignorance.
–Ken Wilber

 

Ripples in the stream
Unexpected results come
from each thrown stone

 

This blog entry may go a bit random. I’ve been asked a few interesting questions and I wanted to share my answers and perhaps gain the perspective of those of you reading this.

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So what is the precious gift that comes out of letting go of loyalty?

 

perspective
that’s more of a thoughtful guess than a conclusive answer
but when we are loyal to someone or something, we tend to focus on the positive aspects, the qualities that have earned our loyalty
when we let go of loyalty, we can see a more complete picture
*allow ourselves to see
it can deepen our love for what we felt loyal towards
true forgiveness rather than forbearance..

 


One of the most helpful insights that I received from a friend was the idea that a true gift is something that truly belongs to the receiver already. The gift is in the realization that this is the person whom it belongs to and it is a form of return. The gift we give each other of realization and enjoyment of time spent is something that can never be taken away it belongs to us. It makes the idea of ‘being the gift’ an intriguing one. Tho it would follow that the way to do that is to become fully who we are.

 


Dealing with despair

 

I have felt times when my wounds emotional or spiritual felt too big to fix or heal. unfortunately i cant tell you much about how i made it through, for the most part i just did
i talked it through with many and spent a lot of time alone, testing plastic knives against my wrists…
its strange tho, because coming out of it had the quality of jumping the abyss…all of a sudden i was ok
oh some of the parts that brought despair still itched… but it felt like i could feel sunlight again and focus on other things
but then in my experience despair is not really sustainable
tho the times i felt ‘in the dark’ it sure felt like it could last forever

 

Blessings, G

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Rubber Duck Takes a Surreal JourneyRubber Ducky Takes a Surreal Journey by G A Rosenberg

 

The Mind Seeks to Order ChaosMind seeks to Order Chaos by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – February 26 2013

“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”
– Henry David Thoreau

 

When I was younger I would often go into a state that I called ‘the dark’. During those periods, nothing seemed to make a whole lot of sense and I felt alone and friendless and nothing seemed quite worthwhile. More than anything else I felt lost. This state came about more often than not at the end of one of my ‘adventures’ where I tried to twist my life and my experience into a new shape or religion or belief structure only to find out that it wasn’t the answer. I would despair of ever finding the answer.
Eventually I learned that there was not an external answer in the way that I had thought. The reason why no one else’s path worked for me was that I am on my own path. This does not mean that truth does not exist nor that I always walk alone. Merely that my way consisted of learning as much as I could about as many paths and lifestyles and beliefs as possible and that it all led to formulating my understanding. This has been an ongoing process and one that I feel fairly sure will be unending. After all, the elephant has a lot of parts. More and more this realization has led to larger and larger periods of self-discovery. I am mapping myself as I go.
Blessings, G

 

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Indigo Bubble
Indigo Bubble by G A Rosenberg

 

TunnelAt the End of the Tunnel by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – October 28 2012

In a time of destruction, create something.”
― Maxine Hong Kingston

This quote puts me in mind of the blues and spirituals; of people reaching the limits of endurance and yet out of their despair, amazing song bursts out that expresses the bleak feeling that only the soul can know but also somehow exorcises and heals it. Love and jobs have been lost. People close to us have died, we become ill and yet words, music or art comes out in a way that’s truer than almost any other. Perhaps, that is an ideal I speak of and yet I’ve seen it, some people can get a hang nail and melt into a puddle of self-imposed drama while others can take the most profound pain and transform that and themselves. I know which one of those people I want to be.
Blessings, G

Soul ripped open pain
blackness so dark, it lacks name
Song redeems the heart

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Found in Stone by G A Rosenberg

 

Opalescent Ruby View by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – August 6 2012

“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

 

I believe I’ll break one of those rules now. Does a rule exist that when you have a quote, some writing and a picture on a blog entry that they should relate to each other? Is it even customary? It seems difficult when my brain tends to go all over the place so I might have to ask you to bear with me.
A few months ago I read a post on FaceBook about how wonderful life was and someone else commented indicating it was selfish to feel that way when so many suffered, were homeless and others mistreated and tormented. Reading this hit me hard because I felt truth in it and yet…
It’s way too easy to give in to despair, to feel life is too hard too unpleasant and not worth living. Many people seem intent on ruining this life for the rest of us to make it even better for them its true and yet…
In every given day even when shit storms are happening there are countless moments of beauty, a flower, the smile of a baby, the full moon, someone doing a random act of kindness for someone else.
I would not and don’t ever advocate closing our eyes, ears, hearts or minds to the plights of others. I believe compassion to be one of the most important qualities to develop along with love yet if we get so wrapped up in the horrors of the world that we can’t appreciate awesomeness than what’s any of it for? What keeps us going?
So I will admit that all too many of us have really rough lives and help in anyway I can at the moment but I will also say appreciate and love the beauty, the kindness, the love, maybe even just a bit more. It gives us the strength to make life better for everyone.
Blessings, G

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Essence by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – May 26 2012

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
― Albert Camus

Bleak o’erhanging mood
Have to look up to see down
Glad I’m not there now

When I was younger, I’d go into the dark a few times a month. I’d mope around with an unhappiness so intense that people could feel if not see the dark cloud hanging over me. I was unhappy with my self, unhappy with my life and I wasn’t quite sure how to change it. These moods would never last very long. Eventually I would joke my way out of it as I can’t go very long without noticing something that strikes me as funny. If I strung enough of those together, my mood would inevitably improve.
As I got older and learned to watch my moods and my self from the perspective of the witness, these moods came far less often and were a lot shorter in duration. Part of me misses feeling that intense of an emotion however dark tho I did learn from it that I do have that capacity for feeling. A good thing to know.
Blessings, G

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Dreaming in Colour by G A Rosenberg

Soap Bubble by G A Rosenberg