Tag Archives: friendship

Friendship Lab

 

“Don’t let people’s scars distract you from their smiles.”
— John Maurer

 

A few of my friends who have been roommates for awhile came to me separately for advice on how to deal with each other. Their friendship appeared to be the kind that we humans choose unconsciously because we need to have a funhouse mirror of certain combinations of our qualities held up to us to see and deal with. This in my experience happens when our introspective nature’s become blocked. The things that draw us into these relationships tends to be the qualities that we share that we enjoy. Problems arise most often, it seems when qualities we dislike or don’t fully understand about ourselves come into play. I could see that this most likely was the case with my friends but could only point out the edges to them. Neither wanted to realize the gifts they were giving each other and themselves by illuminating how they dealt or didn’t with their shadow selves. Things escalated to the point where they forgot why they had become friends in the first place. No doubt they will each draw into their lives people with similar qualities that they will have to deal with until they get the lesson. Life’s funny that way.
Blessings, G

 

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Landscape of Intertwined Rainbow StarfishLandscape of Intertwined Rainbow Starfish by G A Rosenberg

 

Phoenix Dark RisingPhoenix’s Dark Rising by G A Rosenberg

 

Sharing Tales and Chapters

 

“There are no happy endings… There are no endings, happy or otherwise. We all have our own stories which are just part of the one Story that binds both this world and Faerie. Sometimes we step into each others stories – perhaps just for a few minutes, perhaps for years – and then we step out of them again. But all the while, the Story just goes on.”
― Charles de Lint

 

Sharing tales by the fire
and knowing that for awhile
we’ll travel together
Lovers, friends, strangers
exchanging gifts, words, experiences
sharing a bed, an adventure, a lifetime
or several.
We may part one day for awhile
yet in parting we leave the gift
of chapters in each other’s tales
on the unending road ahead.
Blessings, G

 

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Invoking HerInvoking Her by G A Rosenberg

 

Field TheoryField Theory by G A Rosenberg

 

All The Friends I’ll Never Meet

 

“In the long run there is no real way to stop someone from doing whatever it is they are going to do no matter how foolish, or destructive of self or the world around them. You can care but you cannot convince someone that they are not alone if they refuse to see you or your heart. Sometimes all you can do is show up as real and as compassionate as you can. Sometimes that is enough.”
— Randall Wolfe

 

It’s a strange thing having so many people whom I feel so close to yet in all probability will never meet face to face. With my friends on the net I have laughed and cried, shared confidences, argued with and have shared both joy and sorrow.Yet it occurs to me, with most of our interactions being somewhat removed there is no way to show sincerity or lack of it. I mean I am pretty conscious of where I am coming from at any given time and being authentic only becomes more important to me with the passing of time. Yet I have only my words and presence to speak for myself.
Perhaps that isn’t so different from life off line at that.
Blessings, G

 

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Her Knowing GlanceHer Knowing Glance by G A Rosenberg

 

Signal ReceivedSignal Received by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – March 12 2013

“And here, according to Trout, was the reason human beings could not reject ideas because they were bad: “Ideas on Earth were badges of friendship or enmity. Their content did not matter. Friends agreed with friends, in order to express friendliness. Enemies disagreed with enemies, in order to express enmity.

“The ideas Earthlings held didn’t matter for hundreds of thousands of years, since they couldn’t do much about them anyway. Ideas might as well be badges as anything.

“They even had a saying about the futility of ideas: ‘If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.’

“And then Earthlings discovered tools. Suddenly agreeing with friends could be a form of suicide or worse. But agreements went on, not for the sake of common sense or decency or self-preservation, but for friendliness.

“Earthlings went on being friendly, when they should have been thinking instead. And even when they built computers to do some thinking for them, they designed them not so much for wisdom as for friendliness. So they were doomed. Homicidal beggars could ride.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

 

 

This week I seem to be having a lot of my old issues returning to haunt me and perhaps finally coming to the point where I can put them to bed.
Tonight I lost a friendship (careless of me I know). It seems that my friend Mark considers himself a teacher and somewhat of a guru and was disappointed that I was not ‘sharing his wisdom’ and insights with everyone I knew on the internet. It was a fair point. I haven’t been.
 
While I have been willing to connect him with people I know, I have not shared that many of his ideas. I enjoy talking with the man and enjoy his conversation. Doesn’t that mean I find his ideas worthwhile? It took me a bit of meditation and sitting with this question to receive an answer. While I do find some of Mark’s insights valuable, I find that many of them have been said before and said better. I also believe that there are some places where Mark widely either contradicts himself or kind of misses the forest for the trees. By saying this, I do not believe that these qualities are not true of my own writing. Like most of us, I learn as I go and I take for granted that all or most of what I say may be superseded by a greater truth.
 
Herein lies the problem. Mark seems to believe in the absolute accuracy of his vision to such a degree that he has been known to dismiss anyone who disagrees with him without even considering what they have to say or that it may lead to a greater truth. In order to keep the friendship, I have avoided questioning him on his ideas. I could not be dishonest to the extent of endorsing them but I also could not recommend them whole heartedly.
Thus in trying to maintain a friendship I ended up losing it and in the process gained a lesson in integrity. From this point on I will hold the truth to be more important than friendship. Indeed how can you have a true friendship without it?
 
I am thankful to Mark for driving this lesson home and I wish him well. It’s also refreshing to some extent that not only can I still make errors in judgement at this point in my life but that I can realize them.
Blessings, G

 

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Caught Up in the DanceCaught Up in the Dance by G A Rosenberg

 

 

Landing FieldLanding Field by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – March 9 2013

“We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.”
– Hermann Hesse

 

Accepting that people we love may have a different path to the truth than us with very different perceptions of what truth is seems to be difficult for many of us to accept. I wonder at times how much strength it takes to allow for the differences in the outlook of a friend and try to integrate the two rather than believe automatically that one has to be true and the other false. Hegel’s dialectic is thesis, antithesis, synthesis. Two things that oppose each other that seek a combination of some sort, an integration which in turn becomes a new thesis and thus we evolve our viewpoints.
Yet so many people get caught up in the belief that what they currently believe is the only possible truth and would rather break off discussions or friendships rather than risk that belief. More and more I have become determined to not identify as much with my beliefs but to constantly aim towards finding a higher truth.
Blessings,
G

 

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Manifesting Mathematics
Manifesting Trance Formations by G A Rosenberg

 

ShadowsShadow Dance by G A Rosenberg

 

 

Quote of the Day – December 24 2012

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
― Carl Jung

 

Interpersonal alchemy is quite possibly my favourite kind. Meeting someone with a whole new set of values and intricacies, who has learned to deal with their lives in totally different ways than I have. Someone with whom in both qualities I enjoy and qualities I don’t will show me a fun house mirror of myself that we will both have to accept for things to continue. Of course I will be showing them the same. But in the relationship, a new kingdom waits to be explored..
Blessings, G

 

On a somewhat heavier personal note, my mother-in-law tonight faced some medical complications bravely. She was operated on and it looks like she will pull through just fine. I am grateful to the universe. As cliched as it sounds, hold your loved ones tight, you never know when your mutual exploration of each other’s country will come to an end…..
 

 

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Crystal Blue Persuasion

Generator by G A Rosenberg

 

Amonite Persian RugAmmonite Persian Rug by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – March 13 2012

“One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people.”
― John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

 

“Real friendship or love is not manufactured or achieved by an act of will or intention. Friendship is always an act of recognition.”
― John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

 

Yesterday we arrived in County Clare, Ireland which is where John O’Donohue lived and wrote. I find his insights amazing so wanted to use his quotes tonight. I find friendship to be a rare and treasured gift and yes to me, there is always that sense of recognition. Sometimes with really strong friendships, it feels like we have always known each other and when we meet this time, we pick up easily from where we left off, whether that was minutes, days, or lifetimes ago. I don’t mean by this that I believe all close friendships are past life connections (tho more often than not I believe that is the case) but that when we discover or re-discover someone with whom our soul clicks we recognize our heart or another part of ourself that beats inside the breast of another.
As easy as it is to find those we can talk with, how much more amazing it is to find those with whom we can have an easy silence. One in which understanding can be shared. Sometimes we need to speak and know that we will be heard and understood. Recognizing that need in ourselves, we can hopefully sense that need in our friends and learn to listen with compassion and heart when our friends need to speak.
Does this apply only to those we consider our friends? Perhaps there lies the secret towards evolving the human race. What if we decided to listen compassionately not just to those whom we consider friends but to everyone we meet, treating each in the way we would a close friend. Would we then start recognizing each person inside of ourselves thus expanding the friendship circle? Could compassionate understanding be contagious? I truly believe so.
Blessings, G

Some Pictures from Ireland  tonight

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First Glimpse of Ireland through the Clouds

Celtic Bench Outside Bishop’s Gate Hotel in Ennis

Grotto outside the Franciscan Friary in Ennis

Pyramid Tomb outside the Ennis Friary

Quote of the Day – March 7 2012

A man’s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have two friends who live here in the UK who I’ve known for three years. I and them have seen each other go through many changes. Last year I felt privileged to attend their wedding. Tonight I got to meet them for the first time. I love the ways the internet has added to my life. Discovering friends and loved ones who share common interests and developing friendships that in many cases are deeper than any I’ve built where I live. Not to mention the fact that without the net my partner and I would never have developed the relationship that we have and Zev would have had a very different life.

Lucas, Claire and Myself

Quote of the Day – December 4 2011

“There is nothing I want but your presence
In friendship, time dissolves.

Life is a cup. This connection
is pure wine. What else are cups for?”
–Rumi

I’ve had an amazing week in Atlanta. The different types of people I’ve spoken too has been great and the number of connections and reconnections i have made.

Some interesting art and writing will in all probability come of it once it has all cooked a bit.
Will close with a question that I’ve heard asked of late and one that I extrapolate from it. Who holds your story?  Who has a hand in determining your reality? Are the two questions the same? Namaste,

 

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Circulating Storm by G A Rosenberg

 

Quote of the Day – August 31 2011

“Friendship is one of the most important things in life. True friends increase your joys and celebrate your successes. They are there to nourish your soul and bring harmony to your life. When you face difficulties, they provide you with support and comfort to press on. True friends are aware of and accept your many failings. But when it is required they are also your harshest critic. They are unafraid to say the things that you need to hear because they care. “

        –Kahlil Gibran

 

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Harmonies by G A Rosenberg