“I have no right to call myself one who knows. I was one who seeks, and I still am, but I no longer seek in the stars or in books; I’m beginning to hear the teachings of my blood pulsing within me. My story isn’t pleasant, it’s not sweet and harmonious like the invented stories; it tastes of folly and bewilderment, of madness and dream, like the life of all people who no longer want to lie to themselves.”
— Hermann Hesse, Demian
The tide of my soul at low ebb
It seeks sustenance from mother ocean
as its sandy depths lay bare.
Soon it will come rushing back
Joys and passions renewed in the flow
as the waves compete with the sound
of rushing current
enough to drown even a man
rooted in his dreams.
In the dearth and fullness of dream
I seek wisdom from my inner void
from which the flood will come.
There are answers in the blood
A wildness and peace both in strife and balance
and a calling forth of direction
that I need heed
lest I drown in need
or go mad in sustainment
— G A Rosenberg
“A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life. I have a mad impulse to smash something, a warehouse, perhaps, or a cathedral, or myself, to commit outrages, to pull off the wigs of a few revered idols…”
-Hermann Hesse
When I was younger, I used to want my life to be anything but ordinary. I longed to experience things that no one else around meexperienced and to experience them louder, more intensely and deeper than anyone else could. I wanted to change myself, change the world and make a difference everywhere I went. However as the years go by, I have begun to realize that while some people do their best to follow some standard life equation, there are few ordinary people and few ordinary lives. Dig deep enough and you will find that even the most ‘normal’ person we know has some hidden quirk that many would think was insane. There is no such thing as ordinary and while it is still important for me to experience as much life variety as possible and understand myself to the deepest spiritual level of which I am capable, that is just my quirk. Well, one of them anyways.
Blessings, G
“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”
— Hermann Hesse
The hours are closing in on another calendar year. It’s been a year of art and growth and travel. I have had lots of time to reflect on relationships and how I relate to people and while much of it has been an awakening, it has been somewhat painful as well. I finished one major art project (The editing on the Tarot book is almost done, honest) and begun another one. I got to see Europe and I got to see the city I live in from the perspective of a tourist and found it all beautiful.
The next year will bring more of the same. I have some ideas of what I want to do career wise and marketing wise and my intent is to see it out. I wish to study more, meditate more, love more and spend more time in that still sanctuary inside of myself. May 2015 be a joyful, enlightening, enlivening, healthy and well-lived year for us all.
Blessings, G
To Follow is some of my favourite art pieces from this past year:
Click on images to see full-sized:
Aspects of Need by G A Rosenberg
Hidden Ladders by G A Rosenberg
Buffeted Om by G A Rosenberg
Immersed in His Surroundings by G A Rosenberg
The View Outside by G A Rosenberg
Reaching Through to Make the Abstract Real by G A Rosenberg
Field Study by G A Rosenberg
The Show that Never Ends by G A Rosenberg
Touch by G A Rosenberg
Judgement-The Aeon by G A Rosenberg
Time, Life, Death, The Maiden by G A Rosenberg
Befriending the Sun (Amoun) by G A Rosenberg
Spirits Moving Over and Through the Waters by G A Rosenberg
Within us there is someone who knows everything, wills everything, does everything better than we ourselves.
–Hermann Hesse
In silent moments
I hear the voice
full concepts erupt at once
problems that plagued me
during so called normal moments, solved
by the being within.
To say it is the real me
begs discussion of meaning
yet it feels so much more real
than the mirrored face I show
myself and the not me combined and resolved
who knows things
thinks things
understands things
at a level far beyond.
I need more silent moments
in which to become.
— G A Rosenberg
“You consider yourself odd at times, you accuse yourself of taking a road different from most people. You have to unlearn that. Gaze into the fire, into the clouds, and as soon as the inner voices begin to speak, surrender to them, don’t ask first whether it’s permitted or would please your teachers or father, or some god. You will ruin yourself if you do that.”
— Hermann Hesse, Demian
Breaking away from convention is never easy. There are so many messages around us from childhood telling us that we need to conform in thought, word and deed and not wander too far astray from the herd. Yet as I’ve discussed in the last few days, it is a myth that any two people think and act exactly alike or even believe in the exact same things. When we believe otherwise and spend our lives trying to fit into a common cold, cognitive dissonance arises and builds. The more we try to fit in the stronger the dissonance becomes until our mental, physical and spiritual beings suffer. Not to mention the rising cost on society itself as it becomes sicker and sicker. It is only by breaking away and embracing our uniqueness, despite what our religions, our schools, our media and our politicians tell us to do that we can start to discover what true health means.
Blessings, G
“When someone is searching,” said Siddhartha, “then it might easily happen that the only thing his eyes still see is that what he searches for, that he is unable to find anything, to let anything enter his mind, because he always thinks of nothing but the object of his search, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed by the goal. Searching means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal. You, oh venerable one, are perhaps indeed a searcher, because, striving for your goal, there are many things you don’t see, which are directly in front of your eyes.”
— Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
Do you know what its like to try too hard? I sure do. I remember one time back when I was a young adult. As a teenager, I collected coins tho I had long before given it up. One day I needed money and I remembered that I had one coin in my collection that was worth quite a bit to me in those days. I could easily bring it down to the collector’s shop and get around one hundred and fifty dollars for it. If only I could find it. I only had about an hour to get to the shop before it closed. I pulled out the cases that housed my collection and started rummaging through the collection. I kept digging through and digging through but I couldn’t find that one coin I knew that I had. I must have gone through hundred of coins of lesser value, ones that I would only get five to ten dollars apiece for but I needed that $150. I went searching for two hours and eventually found it tho the store had long since closed. . I then realized what I had been doing and I started laughing out of the sheer silly frustration of it all. I would have had more than enough money if I had only grabbed the coins of lesser value. Together they added up to way more than the one I sought.
It’s like that sometimes when we want something badly. We become so focused on what we want and how we are to go about getting it that we lose sight of all the smaller things that in the long run may benefit us even more. It would be much more useful if we remained open to what was in our path even as we worked toward our goals knowing that the whole of many small things combined can often be greater than the tunnel vision accomplishment of our set goal. I am not saying that we shouldn’t set our intent on goals but it helps if we remain open to what else lies in our path.
Blessings, G
“The things we see are the same things that are within us. There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such an unreal life. They take the images outside them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself.”
― Hermann Hesse
From the inside
things seem cold and damp
fear and anger rule the day
then I realize
it is my fear my madness
so I blanket the cold
and face the fear
anger gives me the energy
its fire burning through to truth
and then dissipating.
With loss of fear
and anger subsided
I see hope
I push against the chains
with joy
and let my true self out
From the inside comes peace
and the whispers of love
My outside world transformed.
— G A Rosenberg
“Each man had only one genuine vocation – to find the way to himself….His task was to discover his own destiny – not an arbitrary one – and to live it out wholly and resolutely within himself. Everything else was only a would-be existence, an attempt at evasion, a flight back to the ideals of the masses, conformity and fear of one’s own inwardness.”
― Hermann Hesse
I find it to be the oddest dance
this search for self-discovery
two step forwards one step back
I make a quick recovery
then one step forwards and then back two
spin in place and fro and two
Still there’s progress to be made
meditation, study, prayer
all the screw ups , the lessons learned
another chance to conquer fear
and yet it seems to move so slow
getting caught up in what I think I know.
Yet in this slow frustrating dance
A kind of peace has come to me
If I had never seen my chains
then freedom I would never see
So I’ll continue without slack
this two steps forward, one step back
“Have you also learned that secret from the river; that there is no such thing as time?” That the river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past nor the shadow of the future.”
— Hermann Hesse
I see my life as a river flowing
laid out in eternity
existing at once
with currents of memory
connecting moment to moment
To sail along my river
is to understand
the riptides and the doldrums
the gentleness and wildness
and the patterns that exist within
Travel with me for a time
walk along my banks
or skinny dip in my depths
or perhaps just float along
in my embrace
— G A Rosenberg
“We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps.”
― Hermann Hesse
I’ve done this before…trusted too much…didn’t try hard enough…lost my nerve and now the cycle repeats. Yet I am not back at the beginning. In truth none goes backwards. I have this cycle of experiences added to my wheelhouse and that may be enough to change how things turn out. No perfect circles exist in life, the spiral moves ever outwards. I too move with the spiral growing, changing, learning. I look down at where I was and I realize it anew. I look out at what is possible and I rise with hope, inspired.
Blessings, G
Amdusias by G A Rosenberg 
Ruby Dream by G A Rosenberg 
