“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Hurt me a little
Rain on me paindrops
that won’t melt
under morning’s light
The tears streaming down
for I exposed my soft areas
open to your wit’s knife
and I say “again”
Make me bleed my weakness
Let me love my strength
through its absence
the teardrop of blood
slides softly down my face
leaving a trail
as another gathers in my eye
causing a scattered prism
A painbow in my eyes.
— G A Rosenberg
“I learned to love the fool in me. The one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes & loses often, lacks self-control, loves & hates, hurts & gets hurt, promises & breaks promises, laughs & cries.”
― Theodore Isaac Rubin
I walk into walls
to hear the laugh
I joke in church all the time
A practical jest at the funeral
A fly swimming in the wine
I play the clown at times of love
I cry when it has to end
It’s not a surprise that I spend most my time
in that old zone known as friend
I’ve felt the pain of memories
shared in times of drink
I’ve paid the tab cheerfully
I’ve spent nights in the clink
Yet far too often I’m alone
spent far too nights in my head
I’ve found myself often yearning for life
and sometimes I yearn to be dead
Still I’ll show you my laughter
The clown with a tear is cliché
I’ll use my pain as fuel for the tales
I someday will relay.
— G A Rosenberg
“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.”
― Cormac McCarthy
On my shoulder there is a mark
A statue broken against it
It drew blood
as the feelings of jealousy washed over me.
My foot, I cut that as a child
playing games of innocence and laughter
Some scars make you smile.
That line under my lip
I ran into a fence hitchhiking
long roads and many songs brought back
The gash through my heart tho
that came from you
and a hopeless dream of being marked again.
— G A Rosenberg
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Waiting For Alice or Someone Like Her by G A Rosenberg
“Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and it’s spectacular. ”
I know many people who can say that they’re enjoying their life and they find this current period of their existence to be sweet but I have yet to meet anyone who believes that life is easy. Heartbreak, pain and suffering happen to us all and with any luck they are only occasional visitors that drop off their gifts and leave. I know for many they move in and linger. They eat all the good food, wear our clothes and leave gray muck in the bathtub. Eventually tho if only for short respites they leave. Even when the vicissitudes of life are with us tho, life is pretty amazing and if we let ourselves be swept along with it we can forget about the things that drag us down and appreciate the sun on the waters, the breeze in the air or the smile of a baby. Even our suffering can be appreciated because if nothing else it is ours and we are alive to feel it.
Shared joy is increased,Shared pain lessened and thus we refute the law of entropy.”
There are very few things better than sharing a good time with people whom we care about. We rack up memories of golden moments, of laughs and pure enjoyment of a day. We remember most the sunrises, sunsets and walks under the stars that we have shared with others and few things can be as wonderful as pure laughter of a joke shared. The joy of the moment is more than doubled.
Likewise when we are hurting, little helps more than being able to unburden ourselves on those we love. We can cry and cop to the things that we did wrong in the situation and ways we have hurt others and the pain that we allowed them to give us and find release where in solitude the pressure would just build up until we surrendered to it. It is important to have friends with whom we can do this and not fear the response, knowing that we will find understanding and solace and possibly a kick in the ass when we wallow in it. It helps also to know that we can be there for other people when they are hurting and be that sounding board they need, helping them find solution and absolution.
I have been lucky in my life to have people with whom I can share both joy and pain. They have taught me the true meaning of friendship and caring. I hope that I will have the chance to share this lesson with many others.
“One of the most loving things you can do for a friend is give them space to be broken without trying to fix them.”
— Randall Wolfe
Humans are problem-solving beings. When someone, especially a loved one, comes to us unhappy and bereft it is a reflex to try to solve their problems. In my experience this is not always either the best or the most loving thing to do. Some hurts are too big and so wounds to deep to think that a kiss and a bandaid of words will help. Sometimes the best and most compassionate thing we can do is to bear silent witness to their pain and give them space to grieve. In the long run this aids their healing process. If they are feeling victimized or delusional about their own culpability in the situation, it is much better to give them a chance to realize it themselves rather than either agree and foster their victimhood or point out their own responsibility and cause resentment. If they are wounded, even by themselves, it is better to let the wound heal a bit before discussing anything of that nature. Listening and being present is often the most compassionate thing we can do.
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She Walked Through a Dream and the Dream Returned the Favour by G A Rosenberg
“Pleasure blocks, but pain clears the way of inspiration. Tagore says: ‘When the string of the violin was being tuned it felt the pain of being stretched, but once it was tuned then it knew why it was stretched’. So it is with the human soul. While the soul goes through pain, torture and trouble it thinks that it would have been much better if it had gone through life without it. But once it reaches the culmination of it then, when it looks back, it begins to realize why all this was meant: it was only meant to tune the soul to a certain pitch.”
~Hazrat Inayat Khan
I felt the pain of loneliness
until I realized the gift of my own company
and learned connection to those I met along the way.
I felt the pain of hunger
until I knew how good food could taste.
I felt the pain of jealousy
until I realized my own worth
Everything that has hurt me
has brought me greater strength.
Every tear I shed
watered the ground I walked on
and nurtured life
Everything that laid me low
ultimately raised me up in truer ways
Every time my heart was sick
healing found its course.
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.”
― Kurt Vonnegut
I’ve learned to laugh at my pain
the exquisite agony
of healing echoes of the past
I save my tears for beauty
of water, forest and human
the kindness done just because
service accepted and given
without a balance
Your eyes in firelight and your skin in moonlight
any of these can make me weep
out of joy, out of love and out of gratitude
tears heal the laughter
laughter the tears
we find balance in life’s stream.
–G A Rosenberg
“Toast, toast, toast…nothing trite, nothing corny, nothin crude. There went most of my repertoire. I remembered once I’d heard a wise old barkeeper say once, and used it: “To the ones who weren’t as lucky.”
I recently thought of a paraphrase of the old capitalist motto: “He who dies with the most joys wins”. By this, I mean that a life measured in moments of joy, love and wonder seems much more worthwhile than a life measured in things acquired. Of course, to really up our joy levels, it helps if we discover and live our life’s purpose, our true will for a life filled fulfilling one’s purpose would almost naturally be a life enjoyed.
I have had friends challenge me on this. They ask me how I can enjoy my life when there is so much misery around. The very planet itself suffers from the rather horrible things being done to her. People live in terror and poverty and shame. Where is their joy and how can I possibly be happy without turning a blind eye to all of the pain. The simple answer is that I can’t turn away. I feel the suffering of others and feel it acutely. I do what I can and it is never enough.
Like so much in life there is paradox involved. Can I help others best by wallowing in misery with them or can I do more by radiating the joy of a life lived to its fullest? Compassion can often mean that our heart hurts and we feel the joy of existence simultaneously. This is seldom an easy balance but a worthwhile one to find.
“Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.”
― Neil Gaiman
For each of us there is but one path. On the physical, it begins when we draw breath and continues to when we draw our last one. Oh we may believe we’ve leaped from path to path, perhaps as we’ve made radical jumps either in our belief systems or our lives but that is illusory. No matter what path we follow, it is merely one who’s trail we parallel for however long we do. The best part of that is that it means we can never lose our way. Indeed with each step taken we blaze it. At times our paths take us to some pretty dark places but then for most, the light shines eventually. Others learn to appreciate the darkness for what it is.. Let’s all follow our way with spirit, humour, honour , gratitude and style and remember we can always change direction but never truly leave our path just veer off in new directions.