A Conversation With My Future Self


“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it? Have you noticed that all your foundations are completely mired in madness? Do you not want to recognize your madness and welcome it in a friendly manner? You wanted to accept everything. So accept madness too. Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life…If you want to find paths, you should also not spurn madness, since it makes up such a great part of your nature…Be glad that you can recognize it, for you will thus avoid becoming its victim. Madness is a special form of the spirit and clings to all teachings and philosophies, but even more to daily life, since life itself is full of craziness and at bottom utterly illogical. Man strives toward reason only so that he can make rules for himself. Life itself has no rules. That is its mystery and its unknown law. What you call knowledge is an attempt to impose something comprehensible on life.”
~ C.G. Jung


Lately I have been attending a webinar life coaching series. One of the exercises in it is a guided meditation to talk to my future self. In it I evoke that best possible self and engage in conversation with him. I imagine it would be something like this.
I start out walking on the beach in Tofino, BC. Tofino has always been a magical spiritual place for me tho I have not known many beaches that aren’t. There the land, sea and air meet beautifully and there is a sense of peace. Especially at night. In this walk, I pass by a campfire and there is someone sitting there watching the flames. I know this man somehow tho we haven’t met. I can tell he is older than me but there is a joy and peace in his eyes that somehow make him look younger.
“Are you going to sit down or what. I’ve been waiting for you and we don’t have a lot of time.”
I look at him again and of course I catch on pretty quickly. Between the science fiction I’ve read and the spirit visions I’ve known both my own and that of others. Besides the face may be slightly different but it is close enough to the one I see reflected in the mirror.
“What year are you from?”
“Oh not too far ahead but enough that when you called I came to help.”
“How has it been going?”
“For us and those around us not too bad. Believe it or not, we’re still here and things have gotten better. I can’t say how. Spoilers you know.” We both grin at the Dr Who quote.
“How are Zev and Aaron?”
“They’re both doing great. Oh Zev still knows how to push our buttons yet the communication improves quickly from the point you’re at now. We do a lot of laughing. Aaron is doing great. He has actually learned how to take and enjoy down time and we’ve done a lot of travelling. We’ve come a long way together in many ways. Like you always tell people, ‘shovel the shit out of the communication room and good things will happen.’The rest… Well let’s save some mystery.”
“Well what can you tell me? Do we manage to focus on art? Was the tarot book published? How about web design? What have you learned?”
“Well which deck and book are you working on now? Oh yes, still the first one… well that one goes over well tho didn’t set the world on fire. Still people said your poetry made the cards clearer for them…We do work on the more complex one that you are so worried about. Listen you’re on the right path. Yes we meander but we always end up exactly where we need to be. Our combination of dumb luck and internal guidance still stands. I do recommend more time spent meditating. The time I’ve spent paid off well on helping me focus. Play to our strengths and you’ll be fine. You have an amazing ability to communicate in various ways and you can and will help many. Believe it or not, you’ll second guess yourself a lot less as time goes on. Remember there are no mistakes. Just lessons we give ourselves on the way”
“Wow all the things I tell other people.”
“Yes, don’t you think its time you listened to yourself…”
“Obviously.” We both laughed. I liked the confidence I saw in this older me. I also liked it that he had kept himself in shape. He was at least 20 lbs lighter than I am and was well toned. The fire started burning down.
“It’s time for me to leave.”
“Wait I still have questions.”
“Do what you do now. Keep the question in mind and then go get busy doing something else. Take the dogs for a walk. Do dishes. Listen to music or meditate. You’ll get the answers the way you always do.” He started to fade into shadows.
“Any last words?”
“Take Neil Gaiman’s advice, trust yourself and trust your story. You’ve already done more than you realize. It’s not going to be all joy and laughter but you already know that. Keep your sense of humour, try to do something productive, crossing a few things off your list each day and you’ll be fine. Goodbye, I love you.” He was gone.
I sat by the remains of the fire, lost in thought and smiled.


Blessings, G


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Inner Population


“This I learned in the Mysterium: to take seriously every unknown wanderer who personally inhabits the inner world, since they are real because they are effectual.”
— C. G. Jung, The Red Book


In my mind live many beings. They populate my dreams and my imagination. Many have found their way into my art. When I am alone, I speak with them. Coyote tricks me into realizing how often I fight my own reflection. The Hanged Man tells me of reflection also and insight. The Creature in my Closet turns to mist to show me how insubstantial my fear is. Mother Cloud holds me to her breasts and calms my anxiety. Even the fox has his say for no one knows better than he how to escape tight spots.
The skeletal hand beckons and the Angel sings and then there is those tempting spirits. So many other make their appearance. Each one imparts their lessons, each one made necessary by the fact that they appear. The wisdom, comfort and occasional torment they offer all help me to become. While it appears to be a playful disassociation in reality it is anything but that. I realize that they are parts of me and that I contain them.
Blessings, G


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