One of the fundamental differences between the Victim Orientation and this one [Creator] is where you put your focus of attention…For Victims, the focus is always on what they don’t want: the problems that seem constantly to multiply in their lives. They don’t want the person, condition, or circumstance they consider their Persecutor, and they don’t want the fear that leads to fight, flee or freeze reactions, either. Creators, on the other hand, place their focus on what they do want. Doing this, Creators still face and solve problems in the course of creating outcomes they want, but their focus remains fixed on their ultimate vision.
~ David Emerald
I admit it. I have a problem understanding why so many have this need to live in the painful areas of their past reliving over and over again how they were hurt and who hurt them . They play this movie in their minds sometimes for decades after it has ended. Understand please I am not negating how they were hurt nor am I saying that they should ‘just get over it’ I regret the fact that they were hurt so badly that they have given up all agency in their lives to the past hurt and often use it as an excuse to not take responsibility. “I’ve never been able to find a good relationship because my father never loved me enough.” “My first boyfriend hit me and now I can’t trust men””I had this disease when I was younger and people laughed at me and hurt me and even tho it ended years ago, I can’t live a normal life because of the trauma” So much hurt and so much pain still being clung to when life could be so much better for them. All they have to do is find the courage to start a new chapter and rise like the Phoenix from the seeds of the old.
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