“Each man had only one genuine vocation – to find the way to himself….His task was to discover his own destiny – not an arbitrary one – and to live it out wholly and resolutely within himself. Everything else was only a would-be existence, an attempt at evasion, a flight back to the ideals of the masses, conformity and fear of one’s own inwardness.”
― Hermann Hesse
I find it to be the oddest dance
this search for self-discovery
two step forwards one step back
I make a quick recovery
then one step forwards and then back two
spin in place and fro and two
Still there’s progress to be made
meditation, study, prayer
all the screw ups , the lessons learned
another chance to conquer fear
and yet it seems to move so slow
getting caught up in what I think I know.
Yet in this slow frustrating dance
A kind of peace has come to me
If I had never seen my chains
then freedom I would never see
So I’ll continue without slack
this two steps forward, one step back
“We are men and our lot in life is to learn and to be hurled into inconceivable new worlds.”
― Carlos Castaneda
I admit it. I’m a knowledge junkie. Each new area of interest I come into contact with expands my world and my existence. It telescopes outward and expands in fractal patterns. In each new area, psychology, metaphysics, art, history that captures my interest also works microscopically in reverse bringing me greater self-awareness and self-knowledge which of course becomes expansive in its own right. What new thing can we learn today and where will it take us?
Blessings, G
“A traveller am I and a navigator, and every day I discover a new region within my soul”
–Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam
Of course, some of these regions are easier to integrate into the map of my soul that I carry within me easier than others. At times I get both dismayed at the depths I still carry within me and elated at the heights that I can reach. Still that’s the challenge innit? To be able to know how low we are capable of sinking, how bright we can shine and all of the flavours in between and surrounding those extremes and see each one as its own challenge. So often, on the mundane level we become use to responding to each new thing, whether it be a flavour of ice cream, a surprise, entertainment or even another person with either a “yikes” or a “goodie”. I keep thinking how cool it would be to start channeling my warrior aspect more and more to the extent that there are no yikes, no goodies just challenges and new aspects to be understood (Grocked)_ and cherished….
Blessings,
G
“Only when the writer is willing to be transformed in the writing, will the audience be capable of transformation. ”
–Varja Krishna
Tonight is heavy with memories and emotion. Funny how someone telling a story about their own lives can catalyze an avalanche within. Now if I can only find the words to talk about some of it without bogging down in details or getting dry. Amazing how easy it is to clench up inside, to play hide and seek with my own past.So we will see whether i can take some of the pressure off and be willing to transform through my writings. I was once told by someone that when they looked at me they thought I had something missing inside. It’s time to find it
Exploding Peacock by G A Rosenberg 
