Tag Archives: self-knowledge

Chasing My Tail Seeking Self Knowledge

 

“Self-observation is very difficult.
The more you try, the more clearly you will see this.”
– G.I. Gurdjieff

 

Can I contain myself
enough to see my contents?
Can I be content
with what I can see
or will it always be hazy?
Can I hazard a guess as to the rest?
Can I rest without having that inner knowledge?
Will I know that what I see and
what others see are just partial glimpses?
Can I glimpse more by allowing myself to be?
Can I become more than the sum of the shadows I’ve been?
Can I then be contained?

 

Blessings, G

 

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New JourneyNew Journey by G A Rosenberg

 

Direction UnresolvedDirection Unresolved by G A Rosenberg

 

Not Where I Left It

 

“The past is never where you think you left it.”
― Katherine Anne Porter

 

Leaving the past behind seems deceptively simple at times. I have long believed it pointless for any adult over the age of 30 or so to cling to hurts real or imagined from one’s childhood and adolescence. I have seen far too many who’s adult lives were choked by resentment and an unwillingness to see themselves as anything but that which was done to them. I’ve worked hard to reconcile my past, forgive whatever there maybe to forgive and leave those parts of my past behind. The key word in the first sentence was deceptively.
Today I was interviewed about my childhood and it was amazing how many memories good and bad came rushing to the surface. Many of them I have dealt with but there were a few things that I had forgotten and the awareness of them was somewhat uncomfortable. It’s a fortunate thing for buried trauma can often lead to treasure and greater awareness. I will never again believe that I have left my past behind for I know I carry it all with me, perhaps not as its victim but definitely as its vehicle into greater understanding and awareness.
Blessings, G

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Organic ClockworkOrganic Clockwork by G A Rosenberg

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Free FlowFree Flow by G A Rosenberg

 

Do I Know what I Mean?

 

“People have a very firm conviction, or belief, that they speak the same language, that they understand one another.
Actually this conviction has no foundation whatever. The language which they speak is adapted to practical life only. People communicate to one another information of a practical character, but as soon as they pass to a slightly more complex sphere they are immediately lost, and the cease to understand one another, although they are unconscious of it.”
— G I Gurdjieff

 

Language is a tricky business. People talk at each other and seldom realize that they are using the same words to mean two or more different things. Words like war or freedom or love or concepts like free will, acceptable losses, faith, religion, or meme. The words that people use in conversation with each other without sharing meaning is nigh endless. What’s even stranger is how often we use these words without having a full understanding of what we ourselves mean when we use it and how for many of these ambiguous terms, our meaning changes from day to day, conversation to conversation or hour to hour. When we say God do we mean an all-knowing guy in a white beard strolling through the sky? Do we mean an archetype, one of several that is part of the shared unconscious of mankind, an all-loving compassionate being, an angry vengeful parent. Is he internal or external? Then we can talk about love. I love you. Do I mean by that that I feel affection towards you and am trying to elicit whether you feel affection back? Do I mean it in a general sense that I love all of mankind and since you are part of that you share in my love? Does it mean I want to make love to you? Does it mean I would lay down my life for you or put your needs above my own? What if I’m not sure and it just seems like a good thing to say at the time? It always seems somewhat miraculous that any of us are able to communicate with each other at all. I guess we should thank god (or gods or goddess) for small miracles.
Blessings, G

 

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Butterfly TrailsButterfly Trails by G A Rosenberg

 

Dark DreamingDark Dreaming by G A Rosenberg

Do I Know what I Mean?

 

“People have a very firm conviction, or belief, that they speak the same language, that they understand one another.
Actually this conviction has no foundation whatever. The language which they speak is adapted to practical life only. People communicate to one another information of a practical character, but as soon as they pass to a slightly more complex sphere they are immediately lost, and the cease to understand one another, although they are unconscious of it.”
— G I Gurdjieff

 

Language is a tricky business. People talk at each other and seldom realize that they are using the same words to mean two or more different things. Words like war or freedom or love or concepts like free will, acceptable losses, faith, religion, or meme. The words that people use in conversation with each other without sharing meaning is nigh endless. What’s even stranger is how often we use these words without having a full understanding of what we ourselves mean when we use it and how for many of these ambiguous terms, our meaning changes from day to day, conversation to conversation or hour to hour. When we say God do we mean an all-knowing guy in a white beard strolling through the sky? Do we mean an archetype, one of several that is part of the shared unconscious of mankind, an all-loving compassionate being, an angry vengeful parent. Is he internal or external? Then we can talk about love. I love you. Do I mean by that that I feel affection towards you and am trying to elicit whether you feel affection back? Do I mean it in a general sense that I love all of mankind and since you are part of that you share in my love? Does it mean I want to make love to you? Does it mean I would lay down my life for you or put your needs above my own? What if I’m not sure and it just seems like a good thing to say at the time? It always seems somewhat miraculous that any of us are able to communicate with each other at all. I guess we should thank god (or gods or goddess) for small miracles.
Blessings, G

 

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Butterfly TrailsButterfly Trails by G A Rosenberg

 

Dark DreamingDark Dreaming by G A Rosenberg

An Echoing Kiss…

 

“Disapproval of others is as good a reason as any for self-reflection. This can be avoided by finding others who disprove and forming a group (or mob).”
— Randall Wolfe

 

A kiss
A simple thing to celebrate and share
A sign of affection, passion and emotion
Sweet
yet seen by others
as divisive
they form their opinions and choose
to champion and degrade
ripples echoing the tide of the moment
yet how can something shared
to bring two together
force others apart?

 

In my wanderings through the web today, I came across quite a few reactions to the ESPN broadcast of NFL draft choice Michael Sam kissing his lover upon getting signed. The fact that people reacted to it amuses me more than it puzzles me. What puzzles me more is that people are more interested in defending their reactions, good and bad, than they are at reflecting on them and seeing them as the gift of self-knowledge they could be. I would rather gain understanding of my own biases and opinions than I would judging those of others. This understanding may lead me to growth. Yet few seemed interested in gaining this understanding. Instead, they would rather either justify their opinions or incite others into expressing the same. It puzzles me.
Blessings, G

 

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Debut PerformanceDebut Performance by G A Rosenberg

 

Night WalkNight-Walk by G A Rosenberg

Musings on Improv Class

 

“Only he who is well prepared has any opportunity to improvise.”
― Ingmar Bergman

 

Preparing to improvise
Making it up as I go along
but staying within defined lines
Investigating new boxes to jump in
for a moment or a lifetime
that lasts five minutes.
You might think a chameleon like fool
would find that easy
yet I am used to longer playtimes
Can I shift and find my way each time?
Yet each who am I this time
lends knowledge to who I am for eternity
so I will build my lines as I go
and by becoming someone new
become myself
— G A R

 

Blessings, G

Hearts and ThornsHearts and Thorns by G A Rosenberg

 

StainedStained by G A Rosenberg

Shadow Clad Surprises

“Man is a substance clad in shadows.”
–John Sterling

 

Wrap me in your shadows love
caress me with your fears
draw out your inner darkness babe
fill me with your tears

 

Draw out my inner light my pet
let it enter your abyss
we’ll create something beautiful
with each passionate kiss

 

be the substance to my being love
be the shadow to my soul
we’ll take what has been broken
build a new artistic whole
— G A Rosenberg

 

I have spoken and created a lot around shadows and identity. But it tends to be a subject of endless fascination for me. One not only of my identity and all its many aspects but that of everyone I meet as well. I love being surprised by something I have never seen in a friend or loved one and perhaps especially in someone I find difficult. There is much truth in the by now cliche that it is the ones we dislike who can teach us the most about ourselves. So when someone whom I dislike shows me something pure and beautiful I melt.
Blessings, G

 

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Sky ShadowSky Shadow by G A Rosenberg

 

Watchful by G A Rosenberg

The Big Moments are Gonna Come

“Bottom line is, even if you see ’em coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are.”
― Joss Whedon

 

We’ve all had them. Maybe we didn’t recognize them at the time but all of a sudden we look up and everything has changed. I call them cusp moments, tho they can also be called crossroad moments or twilight moments or any other metaphor that catches your mind. It could be a parent’s death or a graduation ceremony. It almost always is when you lose your virginity. It could involve a bad breakup or an accident. It could even be a peak experience. However it happens in one fell swoop every map of reality that you have gets systematically erased. You look around you at places and people that were once familiar and you see strangers and strange places.
When this happens you can freak out and scramble towards anything that reminds you of your past and try as best as you can to recreate your own map or you can look at everything with the wonder of a child. You can be free to draw a new map with each new thing in front of you that you see with your new eyes. It can be the best thing ever.
I have spoken before about how every moment can be a new starting point and it can. You may not be able to force either a traumatic or a peak experience but you can consciously and willfully toss out your existing maps and look at your life and your environment with new eyes as if you’ve never seen it before. Redefine your relationships with everything and anything in front of you. Feel free to explore and learn and grow. Grab a hold of the potential new beginning that every moment brings
Blessings, G

 

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Brain StormBrainstorm by G A Rosenberg

 

RibbonsRibbons by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – July 22 2012

““I will follow my instincts, and be myself for good or ill.”
― John Muir

 

Internal Dialogue

 
“Tonight I add another blue sky piece to fit into the puzzle. ”
“What puzzle?”
“The puzzle of my understanding”
“Understanding of what?”
“Y’know life. the universe. everything”
“Ah that puzzle. OK what is it”
“The will to exceptionality
When each one of us (each being) is exceptional and has a purpose why do so many of us need to feel that we are ‘more special’ than anyone else?”
This goes beyond the personal to me (tho you wouldn’t believe how many people i have met who felt that they personally above all others were touched by God over the years)
it goes to the tribal, the ‘chosen’ people, Jehovah’s witnesses etc
all exceptional and all exclusive…
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this meme of late.
i get that we all need to feel recognized, valued like we have something unique to offer but why so often does that mean ‘I am special but all of you are not?’ It seems to be a symptom so i want to look at what the healthy model would be
it seems to look a lot like “we each have gifts unique to us that we share with each other’
This works on almost every level, individual, group, tribal, cultural, species, universal and yet why do so many people (and tribes) seem to feel that their gifts are diminished if they acknowledge those of others.
Aside from practicing it ourselves, how do we get to that healthy point?”
“I dunno, man”

 

To be continued (or should I say fit into place)….
Blessings, G

 

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Cave by G A Rosenberg

 

Indiglow by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – May 21 2012

“The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes. ”
― Pema Chödrön

Funny, how before reading this tonight, I thought of compassion as something that we have for other people. The way I have always thought of compassion was the quality of putting ourselves into another person’s footsteps, seeing life from the inside of another’s head. Perhaps I need to turn it around and focus for a bit on how it feels to live inside my own, at least as important.

I know its not so much seeing my heart as another’s but seeing another’s as my own. By compassion also not meaning sympathy or pity but being willing to look and be authentically. Perhaps that is a prerequisite to feeling true compassion for another.
Blessings, G

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Lava Spin Mandala by G Rosenberg

Visage of Pisces by G A Rosenberg