“Whoever has witnessed another’s ideal becomes his inexorable judge and as it were his evil conscience.”
“Could I be living better than I do and healthier? Certainly. Do I live up to my own highest ideals? No I do not. Yet hearing your judgements upon my choices makes me wonder whether you ask these questions of yourself as well.”
— Randall Wolfe
At times I find myself dwelling on the ways I fall short of my ideals. I have researched diet, exercise and spiritual practice and I make progress in each of these yet in the jigsaw puzzle of my complete self, I am still finishing the border and gradually moving inward attempting to place each piece. It’s not so much that I don’t know how to go about improving my being as much as I slog against a certain inertia. Plus there are those excesses and time wastings that still bring me enough pleasure that I forego the joy that will come of giving them up. I suspect many of those reading this are in the same boat.
Tonight an acquaintance on FB wrote that he found himself wishing that there were more people interested in “what was good and true and right”. I find myself wondering if it is not so much that people aren’t interested, nor even that they don’t care. Perhaps they are working on a different part of their puzzle and have yet to start on those areas which admittedly can be a bit like pieces of blue sky or forest. Such puzzles can be tricky and the only satisfaction is that of completion rather than speed.
Helping others with problem spots can be fun as almost any activity is better shared and it is even better when the help is mutual. I appreciate anyone willing to help yet I have learned that there is little more frustrating than unsolicited help. Some parts of my puzzle I prefer to at least attempt for myself first.
One day after moments or lifetimes I will find myself ready to place those last few pieces. I will have reached a new level in my togetherness and it will be bliss. Then it will be time for the pieces to go back into the box as I go in search of a puzzle with even greater complexity.
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