Death Personal Reading

Again–The idea of 1 (or 2) spreads for each major arcana card is taken (as are the spreads) from Rachel Pollack’s excellent book Tarot Wisdom. As often as possible I am using the textual definitions from Ms Pollack’s book as otherwise there exists a possibility of skewing the meanings to serve my own ends rather than get any insight into what the cards are showing me. Recently I have also been taking (for the minor arcana) cards some of the textual definitions from Eileen Connolly’s Tarot: The First Handbook for the Master. Way back when I started working with the cards Ms. Connolly’s Tarot for the Apprentice was one of the first books I used.
Tonight tho, I had a new insight. That if the goal of these readings is a greater internal knowledge and understanding these forces then subjectivity may just be the way to go. Still I will give Ms Pollack’s and Ms. Connolly’s definitions because I feel it may be useful for anyone reading this to follow along.

Death Personal Reading

1) What is my attitude towards death? IX of Pentacles (rev) IX of Pentacles
2) How am I ok with death? VII of Swords (rev) Seven of Swords
3) How do I have trouble with Death? Death (rev) Death
4) What needs to die in my life? Page of Cups (rev) Page of Cups
5) How do I let it die? The Devil The Devil
6) What needs to live? Knight of Wands Knight of Wands
7) How do I help it live? Page of Wands (rev) Page of Wands


What is my attitude towards death? IX of Pentacles (rev)

“Lack of discipline, low regard for yourself, but also choosing spontaneity over long term goals”
“Some Regret, Some Reason. Not sure what to do next. Do not complicate situation further. Need some advice”
“You are missing someone terribly. They feel the same. Make contact”
“Contact someone who is feeling lost without you”
“People do care. They may have the wrong impression”

Wow. This one took me a bit. Mainly because it deals so much with what I believe intellectually and what I feel is true versus some of my ego feelings. I don’t like death. I understand that we all will make this transition and that feels ok. Still when people leave the party,  for the most part we loose communication with them. At its best, it feels like they go to a far-off land from which there is little to no two-way communication. We may see them again but still…. So many people whom I wish I’d have known better, whom I wish I had told what they meant to me and what they could have meant to me. I know that I still can but there goes that two-way communication problem again.

I think part of the message that I hear is to tell people how I feel now. To spend the time, even if  I feel stretched in four other directions. We draw people into our lives for a reason. Part of me realizes that we bring people into our lives for a certain amount of involvement  for a certain length of time and that things happen in just the right way. Part of me mourns the lost potential and maybe that has something to do with the meaning of it all for me. I should try to realize the potential of each relationship in my life and let it be as mutually  positive and growth-inducing as possible.

How am I OK with death? VII of Swords (rev)

“Good Karma now possible. A solution will be offered. Have a gracious attitude. Accept and later you will be able to return the help”

“If you think things out you will see the obvious! Can prevent further disruption”

“willingness to consult with others to get advice before taking action”

hmmmm, As I said before, my understanding of death is all about transitions–Ultimately Death works as the solution to life on the physical plane–I also feel that the more confort you can give to those who grieve over loved ones who left the party the better. The acceptance thing, maybe I draw closer to being able to do that than I thought.

How do I have trouble with Death? Death (rev)? 🙂

“If someone has been sick a long time with fear of not surviving, the upside-down Death may say that the person will not die soon or in the immediate future”

“It does not however, promise recovery, just that life continues”

“resistance to change, inertia. Things do not die, they simply go on”

Yes, yes and yes. (BTW, i believe this is the first time in these readings, that the card of the reading showed up. Cool).  I don’t fear Death.  Inside of me, is a fear of suffering, of my physical  body laying wracked with illness (either physical or mental) and pain and not being ready / able to die. I have seen that happen with both people I feel close to and others whom were close to those I love. So in that way, I have to learn to let go of the fear of Death not coming.

On the other hand, I have seen some miraculous recoveries. Around four years back, my father had a cerebral aneurysm and he was in a coma for several months. We all had hope and prayer that he would recover but as time went on doubt crept in. Only my step-mother had total faith and belief in his recovery. He woke up one day and tho the recovery was slow, he has come back over 90% 🙂  So there is almost always hope.

Still, I believe that on some level if I do end up in a hospital (with physical and / or mental discomfort) that it will be something that I have chosen.

What needs to die in my life? Page of Cups (rev)

“Troubled by things that come from the imagination or the subconscious.  Seduction without principle”

Elementally Page of Cups would be Earth of Water, Right side up that would allow a ground for new life to develop and spring forth. Pretty nurturing and peaceful. Reversed things would get muddied, confused. Distracted? Possibly but things definitely would not be seen as clearly. However once they settled down….

So I have to do my best to let the mud settle, and to clarify what I see. To let go of that part of my self that gets pulled into illusion and distracted. Especially by those things that challenge my principles.

How do I let it Die? The Devil (*sigh*)

“…means oppression of some sort, or addiction, whatever chains us. Often these things, have a quality of illusion about them, due to that image of the ropes or chains being big enough to come off. The Devil can mean illusions of any kind, mistakes, errors, clinging to values or situations or people that can harm you. …the Devil’s games and lies can bring real harm”

OK OK, I get the message. Let go of those illusory things that i feel drawn to lately. Recognize them as traps and work on what I know is important…still..:(


sometimes the only thing more difficult than a hard – to-grasp reading  is one that feels easy….

What needs to live? Knight of Wands

“Adventure, daring, someone energetic and forceful. As a person he can be very charming, confident. This can be a card of travel”

Air of Fire. Someone who can sustain themselves towards greater intensity. Inspiration, Creative and traveling?  Ok awesome

I need to keep moving, finding new beauty and new things to keep me going and like Seals and Crofts “We May never pass this way again” says “lift us up…always up”

How do I help it live?  Page of Wands (rev)

“Uncertainty, hesitancy, caution.”

Earth of Fire–would be containment of creativity and spiritual energy so that it can be channeled in the proper direction. Also to make sure that the lower chakra stuff is taken care of also. Reversed could very well mean that too much focus is spent on containment and not enough on the channeling of the energy, Either way I am hearing that I need to work on my boundaries/ barriers and work towards growing / fanning the flames so that the page may become the knight.

There seems to be the oddest balance between the last four cards in this reading. The two reversed pages (fire and water). being what I need to die and what I need to sustain the parts that I want to live, both have to do with Earth (grounding, boundaries) and how it relates first to water and then to fire. It seems almost like a rock-paper-scissors game. Earth can contain fire but Water contains Earth. or in this case with the cards reversed, earth can smother fire and muddy water. Realizing the illusion of the water being muddied and what clarity looks like (The Devil) and satisfying my own creative urges both by continuing to create and traveling to new places, not necessarily physically (Knight of Wands) will help those recalcitrant pages to contain and sustain as i’d like them to 🙂

Tarot Haikus – IV of Pentacles

So, I was working on an essay for the Tarot group at SR on the elements. Working hard which translated to watching YouTube videos, playing games on facebook and reading up on various news stories one of which was the total eclipse. I thought to myself “Wouldn’t it be cool to come up with an eclipse haiku?” My idea of cool tends to be somewhat askew from most people’s. So I did. I have yet to write the article yet parts of it are percolating. While walking the dog I was debating in my mind which Beatle corresponded to each element- Was John Lennon closer to Fire, Air or Water? Ringo Starr was probably Earth, right? Not that that will make it into the article, sometimes i just give my mind some rope and see where it leads.

But I digress. So I wrote the Eclipse haiku-a few entries down if you are interested. An idea popped into my head. Wouldn’t it be fun to come up with a haiku for each of the 78 tarot cards? My idea of fun tends to be as askew as my idea of cool.
So tonight I drew a card from the deck IV of Pentacles and after some thought came up with this:

Holding too tightly
coins slip from an old man’s grasp
order tossed aside.

IV of Pentacles

What? Now? What now?

Video of the day

So i did it!!! It was a lot of fun too. I might go on to make some others. Partially I feel like i put on the red shoes…and want to see what else i can do…Part of me feels like the most inexperienced musician jamming in a big band.
Funny thing is…what now. This has felt like a pretty big week of self-development. Now its on to the next step whatever that may be.


There is a cliche that the only thing constant in the universe is change. Like most, that has become cliche because it is largely true.
People get so freaked out about change. They try to tie themselves to whatever they consider the most stable thing around just to avoid getting tossed by the winds of change. If the universe is constantly in a state of flux, than is change a thing to be feared?
In the tarot, change is represented mainly by the 13th card in the major arcana Death. In the Rider-Waite deck, Death is shown as a skeleton in black armor on a white horse. A businessman and a king lay in the road trampled by Death. A Bishop stands next in the way, trying to keep Death away by prayer. It appears that he is the next to fall. A maiden with a ring of flowers in her hair kneels in Death’s path offering herself but with her head turned away in denial of her offer. A change comes our way do we cling to the status quo (like the businessmen and the king only to be trampled), Do we welcome it half-heartedly, only to have to process it later or do we welcome all, change and stability with open acceptance (the child)?
A lot of people seem to be either eagerly awaiting the upcoming cycle change in 2012 or fearing what it will bring. I don’t know (my favorite words) but it feels like we have been in the midst of major change for a long time now. I wonder whether the cycle change isn’t some really large event that will happen but a small event that ripples out like a stone that lands in the middle of a brook.

The Empress

“Through her door i came upon her
and through her door the world appeared
Creation in all its glory
wheat, and fruit, swans filled the air
She led me through her magick kingdom
wheat grew high, and flowers bloomed
the river breeze caressed us
i tried to think but couldn’t care
for all i saw i loved and wanted
all i needed reached for me
the stars in her hair blinded me
and the moon laid at her feet
She held me until the morning
oh magic night lost to her love
and gained, expression imagination
fruitful creativity”

The Magician

Last night i focused on the magician card in the tarot. Funny, would have expected Merlin and Gandalf instead found myself standing in the magicians spot channeling energy and feeling myself blocked at first and later more successful. The only frustrating thing was that i was hoping to ask for some direction only to find that the direction needs to come from myself. *sigh*