Tag Archives: Tower

The Tower and Our Inner Galaxies

 

“Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made.”
— Tyler Kent White

 

We burn each day living out the dramas of our lives. So much of it is self-create, the little bits of self-sabatoge we do to either make our lives more interesting or to keep ourselves going in our shaky towers, always about to fall. We do what we can to keep them balanced. Occasionally we are smart enough to collapse them ourselves so that we can build up again stronger, somehow. That collapse is ok tho. Sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes we have to either have our faces rubbed into just how shaky this life we have created for ourselves is and sometimes we have to rub our faces in it ourselves. Still we might get surprised or feign surprise at the collapse even to ourselves but hey that’s how we keep the game interesting. Still hopefully each time we rebuild it is on steadier ground.
Blessings, G

 

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Spirit of Multi-Coloured FlameSpirit of Multi-Coloured Flame by G A Rosenberg

 

68-BelialBelial (#68 in Goetia series) by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – January 8 2013

“Today I am someone different. Today I have finally become who I really am.”
― C. JoyBell C.

 

I may have found a new daily affirmation. Each day , don’t we become even more who we really are? I mean, it is possible to delude ourselves more and more, build a house of cards made up of delusions but eventually and inevitably the cards collapse under the weight of the delusion until what we are left with is ourselves. How we react to this collapse and how adaptable we are to rebuilding is as good a litmus test of awareness as anything else I can think of. The more aware I become, the more I seek to trigger the collapse of my delusions so that I can shine through that much clearer. I love it when people show me my blind spots. Let me react emotionally and unreasonably so that I can see what triggered it and gain the gift.
Blessings, G

 

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KIng of Cups

Tarot – King of Cups by G A Rosenberg

 

Caterpillar Mandala
Caterpillar Mandala by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – October 17 2011

“The thing with pretending you’re in a good mood is that sometimes you can. “

       –Charles deLint

a realization of how something might have cut
a small tear in the soul
now with grace, it starts to knit..
The tower falls, the light of day comes
then we get to see what comes next
— G A Rosenberg

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Ragnarok’s Due  by G A Rosenberg

Thoughts About to Crystalize by G A Rosenberg

Tower Wisdom Reading

Again–The idea of 1 (or 2) spreads for each major arcana card is taken (as are the spreads) from Rachel Pollack’s excellent book Tarot Wisdom. As often as possible I am using the textual definitions from Ms Pollack’s book as otherwise there exists a possibility of skewing the meanings to serve my own ends rather than get any insight into what the cards are showing me. Recently I have also been taking (for the minor arcana) cards some of the textual definitions from Eileen Connolly’s Tarot: The First Handbook for the Master. Way back when I started working with the cards Ms. Connolly’s Tarot for the Apprentice was one of the first books I used.
Lately tho, I have had a new insight. That if the goal of these readings is a greater internal knowledge and understanding these forces then subjectivity may just be the way to go. Still I will give Ms Pollack’s and Ms. Connolly’s definitions because I feel it may be useful for anyone reading this to follow along. By all means feel free to comment.

Note: I can see that this reading is probably not one that the interpretation will come easy one. I will be posting my interpretation tomorrow–feel free to comment with your own. I don’t believe that any insight is ever wrong.

1) What lives in the house of God? High Priestess (Rev) High Priestess
2)What destroys it? Strength (Rev) Strength
3) What is liberated? The Lovers (Rev) The Lovers
4) What happens after destruction? X of Pentacles X of Pentacles
5) What begins? VI of Swords VI of Swords

Interpretation

1) What lives in the house of God? High Priestess (Rev)
“Reversed the High Priestess may call on us to get involved again in the world, especially if we’ve spent a time cut off from people, exploring our inner lives.”
“If we stay too long in that state we can find it hard to get back our lives, our responsibilities, our relationships.”
“The reversed card can remind us to be passionate, to commit ourselves, to something to someone.”
“In some contexts it may indicate presure from people or a lack of respect from those around us”
OK, this would seem to be a reading and a card where context is key. The Tower or House of God is all about the structures that we build ourselves to hang reality on. In this case, I choose to use House of God interchangeably with my preferred term (by way of Robert Anton Wilson and Timothy Leary) reality tunnel. What would the High Priestess Reversed mean in this context? I believe that to a large extent, our reality tunnels are defined by our interactions with other people. Whether it is the baby’s and infant’s interaction with his parents or school or clubs or other kids. As we get older, and become more aware, we start forming our own view of reality that may be separate from those around us. More and more as we go within, we test the precepts and stated perceptions that we are exposed to and form our own towers. When we isolate ourselves, our tunnels grow larger and larger but they remain untested. It is only by once again engaging ourselves with others that we can find if our reality tunnel can remain intact when faced with outside stimulus. Even if the stimulus comes from the people we have attracted into our lives.

2) What destroys it? Strength (Rev)


” Reversed might mean the desires unchecked, giving into temptation, especially sexual”
“Improper use of strength”
“Trying to be strong when pushed beyond endurance”
“Weakness, or a person who doubts his or her own strength”


OK , so if the people we draw into our lives and the framework that we build up around them is what lives in the Tower, then what destroys it is improper realization of our own strength, trying to keep mistaken beliefs about ourselves going, even when we have overwhelming evidence that reality is so much bigger than we had ever given credit to, that even holding onto one view of reality inflexibly thus hastening its fall.

Additionally, another way that Strength (Rev) may destroy one’s reality tunnel is if one has so much self-doubt that they listen to someone else’s interpretation of reality and choose to believe it without verifying each part with their own inner self.  Most of us have been raised to believe what our parents believe (ie Judeo-Christianity, Islam, Buddhism etc) At some point, many of us reach a crisis of faith when something in our perceived reality contradicts that which we’ve been taught.

3) What is liberated? The Lovers (Rev)

“The Lovers reversed usually means trouble in a relationship.”

“prolonged adolescence that keeps some people involved in childish fantasies long after their bodies have fully matured”

The Lovers card deals with relationships and choices. There would appear to me to be no more fundamental relationship of choice to our very being than our relationship to reality. We define ourselves by our reality tunnels. When they collapse under the weight of our misconceptions and internal inconsistencies, it is those inconsistencies that are liberated. If we keep spending  more money than we know we bring in, eventually we won’t have money or credit to spend (just to use one example). Another example is the person who keeps ending up in relationships with someone who will batter them physically and/or emotionally. It is only when the admission that they feel that they deserve to be beaten is liberated from the construction materials of the tunnel (or Tower if you will and yes I do think the allegory may be getting a bit thick around here) that they can build a reality in which they deserve to be loved and treated well.

4) What happens after the destruction? X of Pentacles

“A Feeling of Security. Now you have a solid base.”

“Must contend with changing cycles. Disciplined order of solidification.”

“If you believe what you say. It is no longer a gamble”

“Dreams becoming reality”

When the illusion gets destroyed, what remains would be the real, the solid. We may be devastated but one cycle has ended and  now we have a new cycle in which we can rebuild something stronger, something that will hopefully be longer lasting.  Above all else there seems to remain a feeling of relief, we have purged the shit from our lives so what remains feels truer.

5)What begins?  VI of Swords

“You are running over the bridge of swords. You are healing with the effort. Expect a triumphant sun when you are on the other side”

“A difficult cycle is now on its last phase. The nature of this karma begins a new hope as it comes to completion.”

“You may feel devastated but its almost like you knew”

This fits in nicely with the idea of building afresh from the remains in the ruins once our tower has collapsed. In the rebuilding, we heal with new hope. We may carry scars from the devastation but now we can go onwards.

Tarot-The Tower Reading

Again–The idea of 1 (or 2) spreads for each major arcana card is taken (as are the spreads) from Rachel Pollack’s excellent book Tarot Wisdom. As often as possible I am using the textual definitions from Ms Pollack’s book as otherwise there exists a possibility of skewing the meanings to serve my own ends rather than get any insight into what the cards are showing me. Recently I have also been taking (for the minor arcana) cards some of the textual definitions from Eileen Connolly’s Tarot: The First Handbook for the Master. Way back when I started working with the cards Ms. Connolly’s Tarot for the Apprentice was one of the first books I used.
Lately tho, I have had a new insight. That if the goal of these readings is a greater internal knowledge and understanding these forces then subjectivity may just be the way to go. Still I will give Ms Pollack’s and Ms. Connolly’s definitions because I feel it may be useful for anyone reading this to follow along. By all means feel free to comment.

1)What structure have I had in my life? The Lovers The Lovers
2)How has it confined me? VI of Pentacles (Rev) VI of Pentacles
3)How has it strengthened me? IV of Cups IV of Cups
4)What breaks it apart? VI of Wands (Rev) VI of Wands
5)How are others affected?
…A? VII of Wands VII of Wands
…Z? X of Pentacles (Rev) X of Pentacles
…AM? The Empress (Rev) The Empress
…fam? Page of Swords (Rev) Page of Swords
6) What can emerge? X of Wands (Rev) X of Wands
7) What do I have to do? Knight of Wands Knight of Wands

Interpretation

1) What structure have I had in my life? The Lovers

“First of all it signals love”

“The querent may have to make some difficult choice, maybe between a temptation and what the person knows he should do. Vice and virtue.”

“Another possible meaning is adolescence, or a person coming to new levels of themselves. Finally, it can mean a person in harmony with her or his various levels”

A few things have seemed to remain pretty consistent about my adult life. One would be that despite seeing myself as a loner, there has been relatively few periods of time when I did not find myself in the middle of a romantic relationship. I don’t know that this has come from any particular need or intention as much as that has been the flow. Don’t mistake me, i have learned so much from each person and I intend staying with A. for the duration..

I have had a tendency to go to extremes in my life and find that I keep feeling pulled alternately towards virtue and vice, I have seen that as part of the human condition tho perhaps I’ve been more elastic than most in not holding on to any particular reality tunnel and what constitutes virtue from one point of view would be seen as heinous from another and vice versa (versa vice).

I believe that everything that has brought me to the place I seem to be at now in my life has been towards harmonizing the various parts of myself. That may be delusion but I think I’ll stick with it….

2) How has it confined me? VI of Pentacles (Rev)

“Expectations are not met. Disappointed and unable to have control in situation. Injustice, totally unfair”

“Create the security you find lacking. Could mean a move”

“If being your good self causes jealousy, examine why”

This resonates  in all kinds of ways for me. When I find myself in relationship, I deal with someone else’s expectations on a constant basis intimately. I mean unless we live in a cave on a mountain in total solitude, we all find ourselves dealing with how other people perceive us and either exceeding or not living up to what they expect. When in an intimate relationship this feeling can be constant. I have found that letting go of the need to live up to your partner’s expectations help. I believe that at a deep level, most of us want our partners to be happy but their happiness cannot come at the expense of our own, not if we wish the relationship to stay healthy

3) How has it strengthened me? IV of Cups

“Do not reinforce your feelings by separating yourself from what you can be To break this pattern, enjoy your potential.”

“Think about tomorrow. Let the past go. It’s time to light up!” (Note from GR: I wonder if she means lighten up, tho could see the point)”The past won’t change. You can”

“Consider offers/ propositions during the next 10 days. Move into a secure position must be solid, no risk taking. Changing cycles should change your opinion towards success.”

“Someone is trying to reach you. Has much to offer. Get in touch with yourself now”

“A family or other group where emotions are structured possibly by everyone having a role”

Hmmm, Several weeks ago in another of these Major Trump readings, a card came out that stated that that my family was my greatest strength and this  seems to confirm it.

Also, I like to think that one of my strengths would be my ability to adapt, to let go of the past and move forward, to explore something new, to make another choice to bring it in line with the Lovers being what my structure is created out of.

4)What breaks it apart? VI of Wands (Rev)

“Feel unappreciated. Tired of the obstacles. Your cycle is vacillating. Stop Worrying, Within 30 days a new energy,”

“You can’t change what has already happened. It is water under the bridge. Move on”

“Let go of the string that others may want to pull. Refuse to be intimidated. Review and revise schedule. You wiil have to make some changes before you get the results you want. Tension can affect judgement. Clear the air and plant new roots”

Ah , lessons learned….It used to feel so easy, to know that no matter how difficult my current situation was, I knew where the door was and I could  and would walk through it. I would admit to my culpability for allowing the situation to happen and getting caught up in it and found myself in a new relationship, job, living situation etc at the drop of a hat.

In other words, I avoided every opportunity I had to do the work on myself necessary not to land me in difficult situations in the first place, among them not letting myself feel loved because I was lovable and thus love myself more. Thank the universe and all the gods and goddesses that in the last 10 years I have grown out of that one. I feel loved and I love. I can’t change the qualities in my partner that drive me crazy (less and less these days), I can change letting myself be consumed by anger by them…I can also screw up but keep working on it. I have learned to let go of the string a bit and not be as quickly manipulated into a fight or argument.

5) How are others affecter?

a) A….?  VII of Wands

“You can make it! You can meet the challenge. Examine resources take the time. Regain balance, then act”

“Karmic memory is urging you to succeed. This path is not unfamiliar. The answer is YES.”

“You know you can do it. Are you ready for when you do? Interview or meeting can improve the whole situation. Someone needs more convincing. Don’t assume, informe”

“No time to rest on laurels, Take it one step further.”

Ah implied success in my relationship. After 11+ years, that feels like a good thing 🙂 The fact that the timing was right and that A is extremely patient  and allowing of other’s patience and that we both have good communication skills is also a good thing. In the end what makes a relationship work or not work? Can anyone be sure of the answer to that? Instead it seems to consist of a checklist

a) communication?   yes

b) appreciation of who your partner consists of? yes  ( i would say most of the time on both our parts 😉 )

c) tolerance of things that might bug you? yes (i would say most of the time on both our parts 😉 )

d) shared goals? mainly, as a couple, almost definitely, as individuals, not necessarily but i don’t believe our goals are at odds with each other

e) shared humour — almost definitely

f) willing to be seen as flawed by my partner? Yes

g) willing to accept that neither of us will say the right thing, anywhere close to 100% of the time….yes


b) Z?  X of Pentacles (Rev)

Essential that you deal with the problems and avoid creating new ones–Meaningful discipline change the end result”

“Conserve energies. Begin a new plan. Don’t cling to old idea. Next seed can work.”

“Sacrificing security for adventure or new experience”

Wow, this could be a heavy one. At some point Z will be old enough to start hearing about my adventures. How will they affect him? Will he want to go off at an early age and have adventures of his own???? and how will I handle that? It is such a learning and teaching plan, and the card talks a bit about growing the seed.

c) Am?     The Empress (Rev)

Am is very concrete and literal minded and unfortunately from an early age has been pretty repressed . For her reality tends to be remade not as she would have it but often as she believes others wish her to have it . She often appears to find  my changeable, somewhat abstract nature not a whole lot of fun to deal with. Still she enjoys it when I show my more playful side.

d) fam?  Page of Swords (Rev)

“Learning to relax, to trust people”

hmmm Earth of Air  a combination that either transports seeds to new places to grow (Vancouver, from CT 😉 ) or one that can get grit in one’s eyes, never fun. I have been both to my family  and it still feels that its a pretty recent development that i’ve discovered the amount of respect that many members of my family have for me and of course me for them.

6) What can emerge? X 0f Wands (Rev)

“Experiencing the results of bad judgement. Need to make amends. Out of synch with your original intent. Stop now. Go back to the drawing board.”

“if it doesn’t feel right then it isn’t right. halt! Don’t ask “Who’s There.” It’s YOU. Wrong place. Wrong time.”

“Doesn’t have to be this way. This time be determined. Be more discerning when you make people choices in your business life. Not a good time to invest”

Large hmmmm to a lot of this except that like any human structure or societal structure, mine would appear subject to falling down unless the weaknesses are attended to. so cautionary tales abound.

7) What do I have to do? Knight of Wands

“Adventure, daring, someone energetic and forceful. As a person, he can be very charming, confident. This can be a card for travel.”

Air of Fire, someone who is creative and inspires creativity, ever youthful, sometimes a bit too over-confident. For me, in many ways, an ideal. “With sincere heart attempting to benefit all below”