“Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book
Why do we resist our pain? Well besides the obvious that it hurts. Can we learn from our pain? Almost definitely. Tho, so often instead of learning from it, seeing pain as our guru (“dispeller of darkness”) , we push it under the rug and let it build up pressure until we explode either in illness or in some kind of rage that takes other people with it. It amazes me how afraid we can be of showing our feelings. The media encourages us to find someone to pin it on and play victim. That’s not to say that sometimes we don’t get hurt by the actions of another but it seems that more and more we are taught that anytime we hurt from that point onward, we can blame it on that initial pain.
Sometimes pain comes from our own actions. We have unreasonable expectations of ourselves or another person or even a situation. We act rashly and it falls down on us. A healthy reaction to this is to look at what has caused the pain and either not do it again or see what we were trying to express. A child touches a hot stove and gets burned. Is he to blame or his parent or the stove? None of the above. Curiosity is normal and trying new things is awesome. Some of the new things may hurt. The more we learn to ask, what is the lesson rather than who to blame the more we live healthier lives.
”Self-deceit is the hardest habit to break cuz it tells us the we ain’t self-deceived.”
— Jed McKenna
It occurred to me today that Love is the opposite of Pity. hen we pity someone we disempower them. “That’s ok, how could you have done differently, these things happen.” Love empowers “You’re better than that and you’ve shown it in the past. You will show it again”
Pity: “There there, its not your fault. you were the victim” Love: “Do you see your responsibility in the situation?”
Even the body language of the two. When we feel pity, we tend to stroke someone’s head from above or pat their shoulder (effectively topping them) In Love we give a direct hug directly on level with each other.
I would rather have one friend who loves me enough with the truth than one hundred feeling sorry for me and encouraging me to feel sorry for myself.
“We tend to disempower ourselves. We tend to believe that we don’t matter. And in the act of taking that idea to ourselves we give everything away to somebody else, to something else.”
― Terence McKenna
Why do people feel so disempowered? We carry so much inside of us and have so much potential to create beauty, our lives, the lives of others and still we tell ourselves that others have the ultimate power over us. Have you ever told someone they messed up your life? Have you ever thought it? I know I have and it took me years to realize that I was giving them power that they never had. We build our own lives. Yes, we have been influenced by our parents, by our educational systems, by the media and by society itself but we NEED to claim our own power now. We can create magic. If we don’t like the lives we live, we can change them. No one said it was easy but we have that power.
I wish to learn how to help people claim their power. I see so many people thinking they need something special to do it when it is a matter of choice usually. I hear people say derisively “What about starving children, do they choose to starve? Can they just choose to eat?” I know the answer to that is no and that’s gutting. There are too many other factors at work. Are there ways to empower them beyond their starving? Most probably and I wish I had those answers. Let’s ask the questions and work together to figure them out. But first, if you are not starving, if you are not sick or in jail then claim the power you can claim. If you’re unhappy change it. We live in a world of abundance. The more we can change ourselves and claim our power, the more we make it easier for others to claim theirs. First tho, we need to make a difference in our own lives.
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“The Cracks Are Where the Light Comes In” by G A Rosenberg
“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
― Kurt Vonnegut
When’s the last new thing you’ve tried? When’s the last time you left your comfort zone and jumped for something new? When is the last time you dropped your identity and adopted a new one? What stopped you? This life amidst all the pain and all the junk can be one big playground and even the bad parts are better than no parts at all. We are a reflection of the all, the drop in the ocean that carries the ocean within it. It’s not a matter of courage, just a matter of actualizing. Go for it.