I’d Rather Suffer…

“”My argument with so much of psychoanalysis, is the preconception that suffering is a mistake, or a sign of weakness, or a sign even of illness, when in fact, possibly the greatest truths we know have come out of people’s suffering; that the problem is not to undo suffering or to wipe it off the face of the earth but to make it inform our lives, instead of trying to cure ourselves of it constantly and avoid it, and avoid anything but that lobotomized sense of what they call “happiness.” There’s too much of an attempt, it seems to me, to think in terms of controlling man, rather than freeing him. Of defining him rather than letting him go. It’s part of the whole ideology of this age, which is power-mad.”
— Arthur Miller.


Would you give up all of the moments that have given you pain for a life of bland happiness? I know I wouldn’t. For in those moments that have hurt the worst I learned to claim the largest parts of myself. From thoughtlessly betraying a friend, I learned how certain rifts can never be fully healed and to trust my judgement just a little bit more. From the moments I felt the most alone, I learned both self-reliance and an empathy for the lonely. I learned how to love another by doing it wrong and causing pain both to myself and others and I learned that kindness goes a lot further than anger tho both have their place. I would never wish to be spared the tears in my life or heart for those have taught me the greatest compassion.

I would never wish to spare my son the pain of his mistakes tho I will feel it along with him. It would be the greatest disservice to him to try, Rumi said that the cracks are where the light comes in and I have learned that to be true. Gratitude ensues.
Blessings, G


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SheShe by G A Rosenberg


Starry EyedStarry-Eyed by G A Rosenberg

0 thoughts on “I’d Rather Suffer…”

  1. Amen! I have an acronym for it. OMS. It is the malady of many psych professionals. Over-Medication Syndrome, where they medicate first and then wonder after influencing the client why they can’t find out what’s present. Kaye Redfield Jamison penned a book called “Touched With Fire” where she makes the case that by medicating out intensities, we may be medicating out our artists. And, if they succeed, culture would most probably fall flat behind the vacuum created. Here’s the link to the book. http://www.amazon.com/Touched-Fire-Manic-Depressive-Artistic-Temperament/dp/068483183X

    Thanks for your position! Personally, I am not of the positivity mindset crowd, and ironically I find I am in better spirits as I feel we mourn change, not just death and the like. Plus… changing negative thinking is like trying to clean sewage into a good soup. That’s what exhaust pipes are for.

    “Rumi said that the cracks are where the light comes in and I have learned that to be true. Gratitude ensues.” That’s rockin’! Love me some Rumi. Meet you out in that field.

    1. Looking forward to it… and yes we mourn change big time– When i get to the writeup on the Death Card I will be talking about that quite a bit….
      That field is going to have the largest party ever =)

  2. Pain is a sign we need to assess our situations and do something differently (and hopefully learn from the experience). I’m not a fan of the idea that we need to make those feelings go away without trying to figure out why those feeling exist in the first place. If someone has a severe medical condition, we don’t generally just give them pain killers, we try to get to the root of the problem. Hopefully a good psychologist would look for unhealthy environments, medical conditions, food allergies, etc., or thinking patterns before throwing medication at a problem and hoping it will go away. I’m not a proponent of psychoactive medication (there’s too much we don’t know about it, and we’re shooting in the dark), but I could also buy the argument that sometimes a little help is needed to be able to look at the issue and make suitable life changes for personal growth. That’s a personal choice. I’ll never take antidepressants for any reason if I can help it again, but I can’t judge everyone’s situation by my experience, even if I do have my personal bias.

    And yes, the definition of pain is that it hurts. It’s not a comfortable feeling, and even if I sometimes wish I experienced it less often, I wouldn’t give up any of lessons that it taught me. Sometimes people need to escape their pain because it grows to great for them to bear, through one measure or another, but if we can fight our way through it, what we learn and how we grow can be invaluable. Still, it’s how a person uses and thinks about their experience. I’ve also seen people destroyed or reach incredibly maladaptive points because they couldn’t find a good balance.

    1. YES exactly. Thank you for sharing this… Medication to me often seems to cause more problems than it helps. I’m not saying that in some (relatively few) cases it may be the necessary solution in order for a person to come to the point where they can begin to address the problems but it is much better to accept the pain and reflect on its cause

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