“”My argument with so much of psychoanalysis, is the preconception that suffering is a mistake, or a sign of weakness, or a sign even of illness, when in fact, possibly the greatest truths we know have come out of people’s suffering; that the problem is not to undo suffering or to wipe it off the face of the earth but to make it inform our lives, instead of trying to cure ourselves of it constantly and avoid it, and avoid anything but that lobotomized sense of what they call “happiness.” There’s too much of an attempt, it seems to me, to think in terms of controlling man, rather than freeing him. Of defining him rather than letting him go. It’s part of the whole ideology of this age, which is power-mad.”
— Arthur Miller.
Would you give up all of the moments that have given you pain for a life of bland happiness? I know I wouldn’t. For in those moments that have hurt the worst I learned to claim the largest parts of myself. From thoughtlessly betraying a friend, I learned how certain rifts can never be fully healed and to trust my judgement just a little bit more. From the moments I felt the most alone, I learned both self-reliance and an empathy for the lonely. I learned how to love another by doing it wrong and causing pain both to myself and others and I learned that kindness goes a lot further than anger tho both have their place. I would never wish to be spared the tears in my life or heart for those have taught me the greatest compassion.
I would never wish to spare my son the pain of his mistakes tho I will feel it along with him. It would be the greatest disservice to him to try, Rumi said that the cracks are where the light comes in and I have learned that to be true. Gratitude ensues.
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