“I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.”
― Bauvard
When I was younger I found myself looking for mentors and idols. People whom I could pattern myself after, intellectually and spiritually if not in every way possible. I would espouse their ideas, like what they liked, smoke what they smoked and then they would go and blow it by being human. They would say or do something that showed me that they had flaws and that was it. Now all their ideas were suspect and the last thing I wanted to do was to be like them. Luckily there were lots of would be mentors out there whether they wanted the job or not. With each one I would become a bit more disillusioned and cynical. I believed that few people deserved to be looked up to and that I would just create myself.
Then one day when someone came to me for advice, I found myself telling a story that one of my old teachers had told me to help resolve a similar situation. I had been telling the story for years. Considering it a bit more, I became surprised at how often I did this. I would tell jokes or stories or use concepts very similar to the ones used by influences I had discarded. I realized that while my style is my own I am a combination of every influence I ever allowed myself. There were amazing things I had learned from some of the worst people. Waves of gratitude (and perhaps a bit of chagrin at how long this realization took) passed through me for not only those whom had mentored me but for everyone I had encountered. I forgave them their failings (or at least allowed myself to understand them better) and became both more accepting of myself and others but more appreciative of the gifts that each of us have.
Blessings, G
Click on images to see full-sized: </h5?
Reflecting on Misdeeds Past and Yet to Come by G A Rosenberg
Somebody Spoke and I went Into a Dream by G A Rosenberg
“Remember you come here having already understood the necessity of struggling with yourself — only with yourself. Therefore thank everyone who gives you the opportunity.”
― G.I. Gurdjieff
We strike at our own shadows and then imagine they strike back. Oh we give these shadows names. We name them after people we believe slighted us or events that we could not control. Of course what drew those people to us in the first place. They came to express that part of ourselves we keep hidden away, that part that we need desperately to face and yet will avoid at almost any cost. Funny how often we consider them foe or nemesis when in reality they are perhaps kinder than any lover could ever be. For who else can show us so clearly what we most need to work on?
Blessings, G
“We can’t control what thoughts visit our mind. We can however decide which ones live there.”
— Randall Wolfe
I’m sure its possible through meditation and mindfulness to gain control over an unruly mind to one extent or another. For me, though there are times when unwanted and/or unkind thoughts pass through my mind. Sometimes they may be born of frustration. Sometimes there may be self-pity. All of those things that if I deny falling pray to, I call myself both a liar and a fool. Still tho most often I can see these thoughts for what they are and either reason my way through them or realize that the opposite is also true. Thus if I don’t directly kick out my frustrated and angry visitors at least I show them the door and allow them to pass through. It’s amazing how much awareness and seeing these thoughts for what they are helps.
Blessings, G
“I love making, I love doing. I love being to the full, I love everything which is not sitting and watching and copying and dead at heart.”
― John Fowles
Bring me questions I’ve never heard. Let me see sights I’ve never seen at least not with today’s eyes. Show me the you I’ve never seen before and be open to new sides of me. Let’s run naked in the snow and go to the zoo and pet zebras. Let’s have a candlelit picnic in a department store window until they kick us out… Let’s go to a crowded firehouse and yell “MOVIE” and run. Let’s make up new flavours of ice cream and remember the words to nonsense songs. Let’s celebrate the new even if it comes in old forms and the old that we find anew.
Blessings, G
“The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.”
― Vincent van Gogh
Sailing home
tho I feel the storm arising
see the clouds on the horizon
and yet I know my way
I’ve been made aware of danger
got the warning from a stranger
who approached me yesterday
Been awhile
since I landed here among you
an old man whom you found new
and yet I miss my home
Still I stayed learned and taught
our common enemies I fought
together still alone
Here you all gather
to see me on my way
asking questions I must answer
tho I don’t know what to say
Still I speak on
my answers you all measure
perhaps you’ll find some treasure
keep part of me behind
It’s the least I can do
speak my words, see it through
It’s not as if I mind
 
Stormy journey
and yet I know it is time now
say goodbye, take my last bow
turn away and set sail
for my home it does call me
once fettered and now free
I must do my will
__ G A Rosenberg
Blessings, G
Click on images to see full-sized:
Caught Up in a Clockwork Nightmare by G A Rosenberg
“How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.”
― Niels Bohr
I have found it so easy to get stuck in my own point of view at times. I’ve held on to a belief or a thought about such things as my own abilities or my feelings about others, only because either an alternative point of view had not entered the picture or I did not put more effort into seeking it out. I mean ideas we have for years are comfortable yet holding on to them unchallenged is the fastest way to stagnate that I can think of….
Yet when I do consider the alternative view and find the value in it amazing things start to happen. I may not be able to reconcile the two things that easily (How can I have no artistic ability yet start to make art?) yet in that reconciliation and synthesis I can claim a part of myself that I’ve refused to before. By considering a new way of approaching reality I can change my reality into something far beyond what it was before.
Blessings, G
“The road must eventually lead to the whole world.”
― Jack Kerouac, On the Road
I write a lot about the road and the journey and how no two of ours are the same. There is truth in that and yet for most of us our trails widen and the areas of understanding and commonality start intersecting and overlapping more and more. It is very rare that something happens to us that is so traumatic that it narrows our road and forces us to shut down our understanding. Perhaps someone has wronged us horribly in some way that the possibility of feeling compassion for their point of view seems bleak. (As a side note here I want to point out that understanding someone’s point of view or feeling compassion does not mean we condone what they do. If someone was a threat to my family or anyone without the ability to defend themselves, I would step in and cause damage to get them to stop. Yes, I would feel compassion for them and in many cases I believe that the spirit of those who cause harm is crying out to be stopped.) As we understand and allow ourselves to walk in the footsteps of others our road leads out to the world. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Blessings, G
Reflecting on Misdeeds Past and Yet to Come by G A Rosenberg 
