“It is the mark of the mind untrained to take its own processes as valid for all men, and its own judgements for absolute truth”
— Aleister Crowley
There is something comforting in believing that one has found the answer to ourselves and how we fit into the universe in which we liveWhen I was younger and just starting out on the voyage of spiritual (and self assuming they are two different things) discovery, I thought I had found the answers many times. At first, rejecting the religion in which I was raised, I became an atheist. I found all kinds of convincing arguments that there was nothing outside the realm of science and that anyone who believed otherwise was delusional. Then I started learning a bit about extrasensory perception and also meeting people who had faith in various things and I found it beautiful. I started questioning my lack of belief. This led directly to a series of experiences first with the Unification Church, then to Chrismatic Christianity then into various other schools of belief. Each time I found an answer, convinced myself that it was THE ONE AND ONLY ANSWER and that all others were mistaken. Eventually tho I would find some inconsistency, some flaw in the belief and I would if not reject it when the next ONE AND ONLY ANSWER came along, would bury it in the junk room of my subconscious along with the books I would someday write and old dreams I had about what I would do when I grew up (I am still waiting for this to happen).
Each time I had the conviction that I had found the answer, I had an equal need to tell everyone else they were mistaken and would shoot down any arguments to the contrary. It was much later on during the time that I all but gave up on finding answers, convinced that there was one but it could never be found that I stepped down from being the personification of certainty.
When I once again started an awakening of awareness, so different from being a truth seeker but sharing certain of the same intellectual quest aspects, I came to realize that the best anyone can have is approximations. As Ken Wilber says, everyone is right but partial. If everyone is right to some degree, you can question their assertions but you cannot tell them outright that they are wrong or mistaken. These days I become greatly puzzled when I find people whom I respect, unwilling to challenge their beliefs. They become quite offended when someone suggests something outside their truth and when challenged, they tend to devolve from reason to intractability. They so identify with their beliefs that they see every question as a personal attack and react accordingly. I welcome challenges to my process as each question brings me greater understanding. I doubt that I will ever have more than rare glances into absolute truth (and those during peak experiences) and so any that I put into words will have some degree of inaccuracy. That’s Ok though. I have learned to enjoy the lack of certainty as much as I enjoy the quest.
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