“Dualism means to look upon all as black and white, which is viewed by Satanism as a cosmic delusion.
Paradox means to look upon all as something contradictory and absurd, but just as well true and real. Which is viewed by Satanism as a chaotic harmonization” –Vexior 218, Panparadox
I have come to disbelieve in absolutes. As I watch more and more people becoming polarized in their views both politically and spiritually to the point where it seems difficult to not only entertain opinions that are contradictory but to cut off the people who hold them as totally and completely as they can. Less and less is there a consideration that two seemingly-contradictory things can both hold truth. I find the absurdity of this viewpoint to be hilarious.
Only a few years ago, people were quoting Bruce Lee “Be like water”, left and right. They embraced examining one’s views and self-reflection. Yet with very little effort, that changed. Never before have I seen so many people unwilling to move beyond their own limited sense of right and wrong. So delusional and so funny. Ultimately I don’t see embracing either the left or the right (either politically or spiritually) as being half as destructive as this unwillingness to bend, to embrace paradox, to be even somewhat open to other possibilities. It is the polarization of people and beliefs that will push us over the brink. Personally I would rather embrace the chaos of a multiplicity of viewpoints than the ultimate stagnation and destruction that comes from unyielding tunnel vision.
Every being we invoke (or evoke) for that matter has their reflection in our own being. This does not mean that they do not exist outside of ourselves. Indeed true connection happens, in my experience, when that inner aspect provides a gateway to the external being or archetype using our rituals as a gateway.
Sometimes the only way to find clarity is to answer a question for someone or to write or draw it out. From listening to myself give answers, I have often learned things that I didn’t know I knew.
For a long time now I have been avoiding adopting a more public persona. I have been considering of late tho whether by doing so, I am hurting myself financially. I have seen it time and time again. Writers and Artists and Magicians who put their faces out there, do podcasts and interviews and wrap themselves in controversy the way others wrap themselves in blankets at night and they become known. They become famous (or infamous) and they make sales.
If I made podcasts besides sending people screaming and turning off the image, would it translate? Does my work as is speak for itself? One thing I have learned is that I cannot expect others to speak for me.
It’s been fantastic that more and more writers wish to use my art. A few of them are kind enough to mention me from time to time (others not so much). Yet, I feel that there needs to be some kind of push to further myself. What will its nature be? Watch this spot and find out
I get told by people, somewhat frequently, that my art echoes what is going on in their minds or their lives at the time. I consider it a high compliment. Am I tapping into some zeitgeist of the moment or am I perhaps stimulating areas of the imagination that people weren’t aware that they have? Perhaps I am becoming as in tune as I would like to be and gaining the archetypal awareness that I aspire to have. Perhaps we are all mad here and that’s not such a bad thing
If someone, even someone who is knowledgeable with a reputation in their field, says something is possible then they are most likely right. If that same expert says something is impossible, then they are most likely wrong.
Some of my best friends can be found on the printed page. Characters I’ve grown up with and have conversations with in my head. There are others who are newly discovered who speak to my heart. They keep on giving asking little in return except for my attention. They can occasionally remind me that I am not living up to the standards I have set for myself. Especially when the standards are based on their behaviour.
Books are also my teachers. There are so many authors from whom I have learned and I know I have a ways to go before I can match their understanding and knowledge. They not only have the gift of knowledge but the even greater (to me) gift of being able to impart that knowledge.
Relationships are great when you’re in them. I refer not only to love and sexual partnership relationships here but to friendships, mentor / mentee and almost any other type of way that two beings can interact. I’ve learned a lot about myself by how I have been mirrored in the eyes / being of another. I’ve drawn strength from my relationships and given it as well and discovered that there are an infinite number of ways that people can interact.
I have also learned a lot from ending relationships that no longer work or having them ended for me. I have been attacked by those who claimed to love me and care about me (even more rarely done the attacking but that is another story). The most difficult thing I have had to learn is how to move on from relationships that have grown destructive.
Thanks at least partly to social media, two former lovers or former friends can put on quite a show. They attack each other viciously, verbally, snidely, magically and intensely, anything to keep the intensity of feeling going. It doesn’t matter that it has grown ugly and destructive, the point seems to be to keep it going. Too bad they fail to see the collateral damage. In ending one relationship, other relationships tend to fall by the wayside. After all, seeing how a person ends one relationship sheds light on how they will end one with you. Are they obsessive or proactively working to move on with their lives?
Are they using everything that was ever told in confidence against the other person or are they playing fair? Are they expecting friends to choose sides?
The fun in dysfunctional fades very quickly. I know that I would rather say “thanks for the gifts” and move on.
Some song lyrics to meditate on:
“Oz didn’t give nothing to the Tin Man
that he didn’t already have”
“We all need some reason to believe
(I don’t know about anyone but me)”
“I decided long ago
never to walk in anyone’s shadow
If I fail if I succeed
at least I lived as I believe”
It’s important to learn from as many other people as possible. As soon as you set someone up on a pedestal, their flaws become more apparent. If they climb on the pedestal, then they are acknowledging you are beneath them.
Definitely consult people who know more about a subject than you do. If you have medical questions, talk to the best doctor you know who has the training and experience and has become an expert.
If you want to learn a discipline, learn it from someone who has undergone the training and has experience in it. Give them the due respect for what they have learned. Yet know that that does not make them experts in all facets of even their lives, let alone yours. Everything that I have experienced in my life so far has led me to believe that I would not be a very good follower. It works better for me to seek and consult experts than it ever has for me to seek mentors.
I find that it is not only possible but necessary to hold several conflicting realities in my consciousness at any one time. Many would believe that this would be a path to cognitive dissonance. I don’t believe so. Dissonance tends to come in when you believe that two conflicting things “HAVE” to be true and that somehow there has to be resolution between them. I don’t live in an either-or reality preferring multiple choice. Somethings may indeed be black or white with no in-between but I find relatively few of those. Does that mean I live in a state of dissonance? Perhaps but if I do it seems to be a functional one.
She Watches in the Depths by GAR
Attendance by GAR
Sib-Li by GAR
Luis (Rowan) by GAR 
