Books that I’m Reading and Books Newly Acquired

Still bouncing around from book to book, it seems to be working for me lately:

Quantum Psychology by Robert Anton Wilson-The book’s subtitled How Brain Software Programs You & Your World -and seems to be a primer for how to develop your consciousness in non-euclidean ways. The book has exercises for both individuals and groups at the end of every chapter. This one seems a little more work than a lot of RAW’s other books but I have always found the payoffs to be huge.

American Gods by Neil Gaiman-Rereading this one while on holiday. Gaiman’s conceit that when Europeans came to the new world they brought their gods with them and the conflict between them and the new deities  (ones of corporate and cyber) whom we have raised as seen by the everyman Shadow strikes me as alternately incredibly funny and incredibly meaningful.

One: Essential Writings on Nonduality-Ed. Jerry Katz- A book of essays and interviews on how to realize the oneness of everything. I exist as the man behind the curtain.

Recently Acquired

The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life Vol 1 & 2 by Drunvalo Malchizedek –The seminal works in Malchizedek’s writings. These books contain a lot of the information given in Drunvalo Malchizedek’s Flower of Life workshops.

Eve of the Gamblers…

Last night we did the casino thing.  Funny the other day an IF (Internet Friend) of mine made a video stating how bored he was by cultural stuff that so many found so important. I had wanted to reply to him by  saying something about not knocking the smaller pleasures in life. and that anything that brings happiness to some even for a few fleeting moments can’t be considered that bad.

Yet, nothing that I have done in quite awhile felt quite as empty and pointless as me time in the casino last night. It felt a bit like I’d imagine an opium den to feel like or perhaps like being an innocent bystander in a Roger Corman Zombie film. People who seemed lifeless and soulless emptying their wallets into machines, stock players, centrally-casted to play cocktail waitresses and dealers (an interesting name for the job description given the drug metaphor that I used.) It just felt so mechanical….

Put your money into the machine and/or place your bet at the table, push the button, make a choice, bet again, place your money, push the button, win, loose, place your bet again and again and again not so much gambling as that implies risk and no one seemed to be risking anything, anymore than any addict or casual user of a drug risks, nothing unfamiliar, just the same old numbing song and dance.

I wish on some level that I could feel more compassionate towards those people and more casual about it. To some extent, I wonder if my work at attempting to see my life and existence at a deeper level , meditating, focusing within, working on living in the heart and feeling makes so much of the silly stuff that we (including me) Homo Sapiens do feel like….well silly stuff. I don’t know

Today travelled through some countryside in Washington and Oregon. The beach here is incredible. We are staying for three days in Cannon Beach. ..

Temperance Reading

Again–The idea of 1 (or 2) spreads for each major arcana card is taken (as are the spreads) from Rachel Pollack’s excellent book Tarot Wisdom. As often as possible I am using the textual definitions from Ms Pollack’s book as otherwise there exists a possibility of skewing the meanings to serve my own ends rather than get any insight into what the cards are showing me. Recently I have also been taking (for the minor arcana) cards some of the textual definitions from Eileen Connolly’s Tarot: The First Handbook for the Master. Way back when I started working with the cards Ms. Connolly’s Tarot for the Apprentice was one of the first books I used.
Lately tho, I have had a new insight. That if the goal of these readings is a greater internal knowledge and understanding these forces then subjectivity may just be the way to go. Still I will give Ms Pollack’s and Ms. Connolly’s definitions because I feel it may be useful for anyone reading this to follow along.

Note: This reading is especially good when a difficult choice is in the offering.

1) Current Situation IV of Cups IV of Cups
2) Alternative V of Wands (Rev) V of Wands
3) Possible Middle Way II of Swords (Rev) II of Swords
4) Needed Approach Knight of Cups (Rev) Knight of Cups
5) How to let energy flow IX of Pentacles (Rev) IX of Pentacles
6) What commitment is needed? The Magician (Rev) The Magician

Interpretation

Current Situation-IV of Cups
“Do not reinforce your feelings by separating your self from what you can be. To break this pattern Enjoy your potential”

“Think about tomorrow. Let the past go. It’s time to light up! The past won’t change. You can”

“Consider offers/propositions during the next 10 days. Move into secure position. Must be solid, no risk taking. Changing cycles should change your opinion toward success”

“Someone is truing to reach you has much to offer. Get in touch with yourself now”

Hmmm interesting. I have been kind of holding myself apart from this camping trip and perhaps denying myself the opportunity of enjoying it a bit. The getting in touch with myself also seems pretty relevant as far as one of my goals during the next 10 days. In other interpretations of this card, there is a certain feeling of need for introspection but also having fun and using what the cups have to offer….”

Alternative – V of Wands (Rev)

“Conditions are now settling. Take a breath and absorb the changing conditions. Act upon news you will receive soon.”

“Be confident. Don’t worry. Things can be too good not to be true. Take time to listen. someone needs you”

“Think twice before rejecting. Sounds too good to be true? Think it out well”

“Good time to change diet”

“Steady fire that burns slowly without going out. a narrowing of beliefs in life.”

Hmmm so that’s the alternative to not taking things too seriously, looking within and letting loose? Again the idea of something being offered or something or someone coming into my life. I sense a theme and that is almost always significant in a reading. Still two cards does not a trend make. Tho the fat that this card is also saying Absorb and take a breath is interesting….

Possible Middle Way – Two of Swords (Rev)

“You are now on the brink of achievement. Not advisable to share any confidences at this time. Plans maturing”

“If you are undecided keep it to yourself. Be receptive to your own needs at this time.”

“If a decision is needed take great care. Be sure it is what you really want. Question anyone at this time if you feel a surge of doubt. Next 6 days expect unusual activity. Very interesting. ”

“Insight, sensitivity when negotiating,”

“Keep space for yourself”

“Breakdown in communication-a mental balance upset, becoming involved with others, dropping defenses.”

Hmmm, well I did do this reading when I don’t have any major decisions going on. Could be why these three cards all say similar things. A lot of stuff about having some internal time to myself on the trip, Important things happening over the next several days. Offers and negotiations on the table. Hmmm sounds like this may be quite the complicated camping trip.. One thing at a time…..”

Some of this other stuff about dropping defenses around others. and the importance of keeping my balance. This is coming out to be an interesting story at any rate.

Needed Approach : Knight of Cups (Rev)

“Something may stir him to action, or else that inner conflict may become stronger. He may be called on to speak up in some difficult situation or make an ethical choice”

Anyone else wonder what may be up with this camping trip or right afterwards? Well at least there’s only one major card in the mix so probably won’t be maximum drama. Tho all these reversed cards would indicate some energies all kind of coming out in altered or blocked ways. Still, another indication that I might not be able to keep myself apart from the decision making process as much as I might like to. Still as the Needed approach goes I guess I’m going to have to be honest and upfront and speak from my heart,

How to let energy flow – IX of Pentacles (Rev)

“Some regret some reason-Not sure what to do next. Do not complicate situation further. Need some advice”

“Feeling extremely alone. Would like to venture and try to communicate”

“People do care, They may have the wrong impression You are missing someone terribly. They feel the same. make contact. Business negotiation could make profitable return, Do some research”

“Choosing spontaneity over long-range goals”

So that is how i let energy flow. Reach out to people from my past (or people resembling them perhaps?) Again with the business negotiations–could be interesting if that means  I get a certain job offer…. The people whom I would most likely miss the most I will have with me. other than that my family I’ve talked to this week. The most important part of this, from what I can gather is that the more I let myself be spontaneous (difficult considering that at least 2 of the 3 adults I am with are planning fiends.) I guess that is where my speaking up comes from

What commitment is needed ?  The Magician (Rev)

“Something is blocking the flow of energy. It may beself-doubt or an outside force”

“…can indicate fear or emotional pain that makes it difficult for the person to use creative energy or take action”

“So a lot of stuff about repressed energy. Combining this with everything about speaking up, makes me think that I have to be careful to not let myself “be dragged along” on this trip. I have to make decisions about what I want and not be afraid to go off on my own and so something apart from everybody. Some long walks by myself probably wouldn’t be a bad idea. Also remembering a few things like “expression is key” Y’know some of the important things that I have learned over the course of the last couple of months..

Should be interesting.

If anybody reading this, has any insights, please feel free to comment,



Traveling Through

Once again we’re packing up. This time my family will  rent an RV and accompanied by friends of ours in their own RV, we plan to go down  the Washington and Oregon coasts. What will it be like maneuvering a vehicle that big on relatively small roads? Will we see more or less of the beauty of nature? What will we find? I have no idea but  fun will probably be had.

I may be blogging sporadically during the next 10 days. I plan to continue doing a tarot haiku every day and blog a bit about our trip and whatever else comes to mind. I hope to find time to write and meditate. The only question is one of connectivity. Tho as soon as I can once again connect, I will post what I have….

Love, Peace and Blessings everyone

Letting Go, Emanations, Reflections (Part II)

Before I left the Moonies, a few things happened that were to become fairly relevant in my life. So much of my time there, particularly the last few months was a struggle of faith.  Everyone around me seemed so solid in their faith and were sure they had the answers and all I had were questions I could barely formulate. For the first time in my life I believed that God existed and that there was a purpose to it all but surely it had more to do than trying to make up for sins that our ancestors had done. Sensing my doubts, the people who were the leaders of the branch of the church had me stay at their training camp in the Nappa Valley. They figured that being trained constantly would be a good influence on my behaviour. Perhaps it was.

So one day I was with a group that consisted of myself, Dorie, our group leader for the week and a bunch of new recruits, there for their 21 days of training and indoctrination. One of the latter was an older woman, named Myrtle, her grandkids had joined the church and she was checking it out and trying to understand what it was all about. We were going on a group hike to discuss the lecture that we had just heard. I was probably at my lowest ebb. Depressed and trying to inspire, it felt more than a little schizophrenic . Myrtle was a charming woman with a warm smile and large amounts of empathy.

As we walked up the hill, Myrtle holding onto my arm for balance, I found myself praying “God, Heavenly father, please give me an answer.” All of a sudden, I felt the sun on me. I became aware of everything around me, every flower, every tree, every blade of grass and I felt that I fit and that it was right. Not that I fit where I was but that I fit wherever I was. I was right and everything was right. I existed as part of everything and that I was loved. Not as a Moonie but as myself. That moment seemed to go on forever and yet only last a second. I found that I couldn’t explain what had happened to anybody else there, even Myrtle. To be more accurate, I doubt that anyone even noticed and yet for me the effect was profound. I believe that this experience helped give me the courage to leave when I felt it was time. In all the years to come, the quest for that feeling has taken me many places both internally and externally.