“I overcame myself, the sufferer;
I carried my own ashes to the mountains;
I invented a brighter flame for myself.
And behold, then this ghost fled from me.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
There are days when little of what we do seems worthwhile. Days where it feels like all our efforts whether for self-development or for love or for understanding has left us either back where we started or perhaps even further down than that. Our faults scream at us from our own heads, perhaps echoed by those around us and we despair. Oh it sounds poetic but feeling it is hellful and even if it doesn’t blossom into the soul’s dark night it can make for a pretty grey stormy evening that repeated too often leaves one with ashes in their mouth. It is in those times when we most need to keep humour and perspective even if they feel far away. Share our burdens with friends or even with the night sky and our personal deities and begin that climb again. It may be the labours of Sisyphus yet little seems more worthwhile than the journey. Eventually those grey ghosts leave and our spirits are lifted once more.
Click on images to see full-sized:
Ritual Space by G A Rosenberg
Spider Gateway Through Reality Storm by G A Rosenberg
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”
– Henry David Thoreau
When I was younger I would often go into a state that I called ‘the dark’. During those periods, nothing seemed to make a whole lot of sense and I felt alone and friendless and nothing seemed quite worthwhile. More than anything else I felt lost. This state came about more often than not at the end of one of my ‘adventures’ where I tried to twist my life and my experience into a new shape or religion or belief structure only to find out that it wasn’t the answer. I would despair of ever finding the answer.
Eventually I learned that there was not an external answer in the way that I had thought. The reason why no one else’s path worked for me was that I am on my own path. This does not mean that truth does not exist nor that I always walk alone. Merely that my way consisted of learning as much as I could about as many paths and lifestyles and beliefs as possible and that it all led to formulating my understanding. This has been an ongoing process and one that I feel fairly sure will be unending. After all, the elephant has a lot of parts. More and more this realization has led to larger and larger periods of self-discovery. I am mapping myself as I go.