Five Stages…

 

“There’s a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out.”
― Lou Reed

 

I’ve been thinking about loss and grieving a bit. Oh I don’t mean anything as heavy as grieving the loss of a loved one. Sometimes grief comes in subtler yet still hard hitting flavours. For me, it has usually come when I had to accept that my life would not be quite the way I believed it to be. Yes I know for most of us that is an everyday thing. I can’t imagine anything worse than life losing its capacity to surprise yet a relatively small proportion (maybe 1 in 1000) there is a feeling of loss and grief attached. There are times when I finally realized that the career I dreamt of would never happen or a relationship that meant a lot to me dissolved. Then grief would hit and I would go into a brief tailspin.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, in her work with people who were dying and their families, wrote about five stages that people go through in the grieving process. They are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Now these don’t necessarily happen consecutively but they are pretty common to many of us…
“No this is not happening.”
“Damn it World. WHY DOES THIS HAVE… TO HAPPEN… TO ME…? (Imagine this being said like William Shatner in full over-acting mode helps)
“Please make this not have happened. Lord, I promise to behave if you just give it a little more time or if i can only sleep with him / her just one more time”
“I guess not… *sigh*… (not eating, not sleeping or sleeping too much)”
“OK, that’s how things are, let’s get on with it”
Most of us don’t pass through these stages that quickly. But often times it is necessary when dealing with transformation of any kind… Something gained often means something lost and whether we can stand to lose it or not, it is missed.
Blessings, G

 

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Agate JourneyAgate Journey by G A Rosenberg

 

Forces PullingForces Pulling by G A Rosenberg