Fear of Failure

 

“Sometimes you just have to jump out the window and grow wings on the way down.”
— Ray Bradbury

 

Indecision
What will happen if I do?
What will happen if I don’t do anything?
What will those who love me think about it?
What will those who belittle me think about it?
Why do I always freeze when there is a decision to be made?
Fuck IT!!!
o
h


S
H
I
T

 

Freedom and success.
I knew it all the time
Blessings, G

 

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At a CrossingAt a Crossing by G A Rosenberg

 

Ripples in a Strange PoolRipples in a Strange Pond by G A Rosenberg

 

Labyrinth2Labyrinth by G A Rosenberg

 

Hanging On and Letting Go

 

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
— Havelock Ellis

 

Holding on to memories of how you were
Clinging to a happier past
So hard to recognize the truth
that happiness doesn’t always last
Giving in to wider understanding
seeing things I didn’t want to know
Your slipping away into the darkness
and I can’t stand that your light won’t show.

 

Giving up the last of my resistance
I realize nothing’s as it seems
You are battling your demons for you
its nightmares and not dreams
Wanting so to help you in your struggles
knowing that I cannot win this fight
Every day you recede into the distance
and there’s no way to make it right

 

Digging in to try and find the courage
to find the strength to give you what you need
The time for words has passed us in the distance
Now I must show my love by horrifying deed
Letting go of futures that I dreamed of
Dealing with what is happening now
Steeling myself for new tomorrows
If you hate me I’ll make it through somehow
— G A Rosenberg

 

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Neon Bird in FlightNeon Bird in Flight by G A Rosenberg

 

Spider's Nest AbstractSpiders’ Nest Abstract by G A Rosenberg

 

Letting Go – A Punching Walls Story

 

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go”
― Hermann Hesse

 

“You people always hold onto old identities, old faces and masks, long after they’ve served their purpose. But you’ve got to learn to throw things away eventually.”
–Neil Gaiman

 

When I was 19 and had a mishap with the law my father came down on me like a ton of bricks. He told me that he didn’t know what it was but it almost felt like I had something missing in me and he did not feel I was a good person. Insecure at the best of times and somewhat floundering at that point in my life it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was devastated.
For years after that, I found myself either trying to live up to whatever image I had of what my father thought a good person should be or playing against that image in rebellion. With each victory or setback I experienced I asked myself, “So am I a good person now?” I did not have the courage to ask my father.
At some point when I had come close to hitting bottom, it finally occurred to me that I had to let it go. For one thing it had way too many layers
1) what a good person is qualitatively
2) what my father saw as being a good person
3) what I perceived my father saw as being a good person
4)who I was in relationship to 1, 2 or 3
The absurdity of it had me laughing and crying at the same time. I realized that the most important thing was to be myself in the world for good or bad, doing what best reflected the person I am. If I tried to live up to a yardstick especially someone else’s it would not be as meaningful as living up to myself. From that point on, I decided that I would no longer be as concerned with being good as doing right and expressing my being. But I could only do that when I was able to let go of that conversation with my dad and take responsibility for my own actions.
At some point after that, my father had cause to tell me what a good person he thought I was. It felt a touch anti-climatic.
Blessings, G

 

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Guardian and GuideGuardian and Guide by G A Rosenberg

 
The Spiral Moves FasterThe Spiral Increases by G A Rosenberg

Ten of Wands – Redux

Feeling Life’s Burdens?
Remove Problems from the Top
Avoid the collapse

Life in 2012 can feel pretty stressful pretty often. We’re all encouraged to place more and more on our shoulders in more and more different areas. Rest and leisure seem reserved for holidays which all too often get taken up by pressure to do as much leisurely holiday activities as possible.  It feels like time accelerates and we end up with more and more of our time occupied.

Maybe its time to let a few things go. The choices often feel like it is between letting things go by choice or collapsing under the burden. In the long run tho we are the only ones who can decide how much we can handle.

Blessings, G

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Ten of Wands by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – April 25 2012

“Relax into the moment and let the universe do the driving. If there was a secret to happiness in life, I’d say that was it.”
–Jed McKenna

Five of us come upon a rock with that quote engraved on it in five different places. The 16 year old teenager in Connecticut, so very unsure of himself but so sure of what he knows doesn’t get it and scoffs pretending he does. Another, twenty-four and living in Boston just opening up to aspects of his personality he couldn’t before and that he still feels the need to hide nods but can’t quite figure out how to apply it. There is a thirty-four year old man in Toronto. He’s kicked the tires of life a few times, had some adventures, knows that what the rock says is true but is worried that things may get even stranger. The boy’s father laughs and laughs, thinking he gets it as he chases his son and their dog down the hill as his partner awaits them. For me now at fifty, it’s how I roll.
I’ve learned a lot from being all five. I still have many lessons from each of those younger men that I have yet to integrate tho I know that will come with time. The pieces are mainly there. Any needed I have no doubt will come my way. Tho as I type this, I feel bemused by the idea of seeing my younger selves as my teachers.
Blessings, G

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Pyramid of the Wheel by G A Rosenberg

Zev Having Fractal Dreams by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – April 9 2012

“Everybody wants to let go, but how do you let go if you don’t hold things, if you don’t touch things in full consciousness, with a totally open heart?
–Daniel Odier, Tantric Quest

Looking inside myself and contemplating. How deeply do I touch life? I know that I live mostly in my head and sometimes feel everything is somewhat remote. More and more tho I have allowed myself to feel. I wake up in the morning and feel the sun upon my face and say thank you. I gaze at the sun and feel it charging me. I walk the dogs and more often than not do it mindfully.
I have started to ask objects and rocks for their stories and am listening. More and more I do the same with people tho that can be a challenge. Still there are too many ways in which I avoid the interaction.

What ways can you think of to interact more with life?
Blessings, G

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Weaving by G A Rosenberg

Projecting Lotus by G A Rosenberg

Buddha’s Butterfly by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – September 26 2011

“Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day.”

– Zen Proverb

Passing Thought – Love can shine through any amount of interference
whether internal or external which is but another
face that internal wears.

 

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Love Strength Mandala by G A Rosenberg

 

Within  by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – Dec 6 2010

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”

—-Lao Tse

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Covered by G A Rosenberg
Conjour Variation by G A Rosenberg
Conjuration by G A Rosenberg