“No life is a waste,” the Blue Man said. “The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we’re alone.”
― Mitch Albom
One of the most interesting paradoxes of life in the twenty-first century for me is that thanks to the internet we are all so connected and yet many of us feel more alone than ever. It is all too easy to feel misunderstood and alienated. We can reach out to so many and yet actually feel so few. We feel cut off but in reality we are so busy trying to commune with the heart of another that we miss an inner connection to our own hearts.
If we are truly inwardly connected then it is unlikely that we will feel lonely. It makes it so much easier to have authentic connection to others as well. Yet more and more we wall ourselves off afraid to face the shadows that block us from ourselves. We search externally for someone to fill this internal gap. Indeed we quite often find the person who reflects most our own brokenness. This can either result in greater self-understanding or a cycle of attraction-repulsion-dismissal-lonliness and then attraction to another broken reflection of ourselves convince that now we have found the one who will free us and fill that void.
I long ago told myself that I wouldn’t find the person who was right for me until I was right for myself. I finally got to know myself well enough that that became possible and the better I come to know myself and fill my own gaps the better the relationship becomes. When we are truly with ourselves than we can never be lonely.
Click on images to see full-sized: