“I’m going to break it down for you. Disappointment is when you expected something and got something else. It’s right there in the word. An appointment (expectation) you had was dissed. The appointment may have been with yourself or another person or even with an event. If you hadn’t had the expectation in the first place than the disappointment would not have happened. Not that disappointment is a bad thing. A lot of our expectations can be pretty dumb”
— Randall Wolfe
We all go through life expecting things. It seems we build a picture of the way things will be or should be and all too often we end up disappointed. When that happens we have two choices. we can enjoy the moment or we can wallow in the fact that we didn’t get what we wanted or expected. All too often it seems we choose to hold two snapshots in our head, what we wanted and what we got and spend hours comparing the two. It’s like we’re children who asked for a chocolate ice cream cone and got a rocky road one instead. We may love Rocky Road and the chocolaty goodness is still there but we expected chocolate. We spend so much time bemoaning the fact that the ice cream melts away and we never get a taste. How amazing it would be if we could bite into each moment and enjoy it for what it is even if it doesn’t match our expectations. Who knows it may end up tasting better than we ever imagined it could. The universe tends to do that.
Blessings, G
“There is a balance between seeing the beauty of the world and appreciating it and despairing of its ugliness and demanding change. People who remain ensconced at either end of the spectrum seem a bit psychotic to me”
— Randall Wolfe
I know many people who have made the art of positive thinking into an art form. They insist on putting a positive spin on everything. If you tell them people are starving or about human atrocities they will look mourn fall and talk about how sad those people have attracted that kind of energy and how happy it makes them that they are able to do so.
I also know many people who insist the world is vile and that people are awful. They have all kinds of proof that the world sucks and that the only people who get ahead do so on the backs of others.
Yes both of those views are extreme tho it amazes me how often I see both extremes. I believe that life is an amazing adventure and that we have come here to experience it. Based on what we as spirits need to learn. Some lessons come easy and some we have to repeat over and over and some are just rough. One of the biggest lessons for most of us involve compassion. Sometimes in order to be able to understand another’s pain we have to get inside and feel it for ourselves.
I tend to believe in reincarnation and believe that over the course of all the lives we live we get to experience everything good and bad. If this physical life is but a stage then at one point or another we will experience everything we need to with a huge range of good, bad and in-between. Indeed our very definitions of good and bad change from one period of our lives to another. I would imagine that over the course of many lifetimes, the terms lose meaning all together.
Perhaps that is the point of it. If we look at each experience as just that an experience and a lesson without ascribing value to it, then only the experience and what we can learn from it remains. This is not an easy thing to do yet it is when I have been closest to this viewpoint that I have known the most peace.
Blessings, G
“Whoever has witnessed another’s ideal becomes his inexorable judge and as it were his evil conscience.”
–Friedrich Nietzsche
“Could I be living better than I do and healthier? Certainly. Do I live up to my own highest ideals? No I do not. Yet hearing your judgements upon my choices makes me wonder whether you ask these questions of yourself as well.”
— Randall Wolfe
At times I find myself dwelling on the ways I fall short of my ideals. I have researched diet, exercise and spiritual practice and I make progress in each of these yet in the jigsaw puzzle of my complete self, I am still finishing the border and gradually moving inward attempting to place each piece. It’s not so much that I don’t know how to go about improving my being as much as I slog against a certain inertia. Plus there are those excesses and time wastings that still bring me enough pleasure that I forego the joy that will come of giving them up. I suspect many of those reading this are in the same boat.
Tonight an acquaintance on FB wrote that he found himself wishing that there were more people interested in “what was good and true and right”. I find myself wondering if it is not so much that people aren’t interested, nor even that they don’t care. Perhaps they are working on a different part of their puzzle and have yet to start on those areas which admittedly can be a bit like pieces of blue sky or forest. Such puzzles can be tricky and the only satisfaction is that of completion rather than speed.
Helping others with problem spots can be fun as almost any activity is better shared and it is even better when the help is mutual. I appreciate anyone willing to help yet I have learned that there is little more frustrating than unsolicited help. Some parts of my puzzle I prefer to at least attempt for myself first.
One day after moments or lifetimes I will find myself ready to place those last few pieces. I will have reached a new level in my togetherness and it will be bliss. Then it will be time for the pieces to go back into the box as I go in search of a puzzle with even greater complexity.
Blessings, G
“Who do you allow to live in your head?”
–Randall Wolfe
Every time someone does or says something to us or for us that we think about afterwards we are renting them space in our heads. Sometimes its something simple as remembering with a smile someone who let us go in front of them in line. Sometimes it can be resentments and pain that we’ve held inside for decades. Is there someone growing up, a parent or relative perhaps that hurt you or said horrible things to you when you were a child and made you feel less than you are? Do you think about them every day and try to prove them wrong or worse yet right? Would you want that person as a roommate? Then maybe its time to kick them out of your head. It’s not easy. Part of it is learning how to forgive. Part of it is looking at that person from what you know now about what they were going through. I am not saying that this will make it right. Understanding and forgiveness will allow you to evict them gently so that your life can become better. There are so many people who by example and by deed make much better head mates. If you can’t think of anyone, sometimes being alone with those voices from the past no longer there is alright too.
Blessings, G
“Every moment I sacrifice my certainty to confusion so that pathways will open up to greater understanding”
— Randall Wolfe
Jack Kerouac said that all he had to offer was his own confusion. I can relate to that. Any time I find myself certain about anything my universal kaleidoscope spins and questions rush in. I’m learning to be ok with that tho. I have met many people who have total certainty about how things work and while I used to find them infinitely magnetic, I have learned to be very weary. It seems that as soon as something becomes certain for us, we stop questioning it. What’s worse is that the longer that certainty has to set, the more solid and unbreakable it becomes to the point of being unable to allow for error. Once we allow that to happen then our growth becomes stunted and we limit our universe to just what we know. I would rather remain confused and stay open to infinite potentiality. At least that’s what I think most of the time.
Blessings, G
“The moment of deepest darkness holds the greatest potential. For this is when we have the most power to create the reality before us when the light returns.”
— Randall Wolfe
Another Winter solstice is upon us. The night is at its longest point and many of us become a bit more aware of time passing. Yet from the lowest ebb, light comes in and things go towards balance once more. It is up to decide what we want to bring into our lives with the coming of a new returning of light and a new year. Yes, every moment holds potential for change but it is at these cusps that we share that seem to hold the most meaning. May this solstice bring the best kind of changes and a new awareness for us all.
Blessings, G
“In the long run there is no real way to stop someone from doing whatever it is they are going to do no matter how foolish, or destructive of self or the world around them. You can care but you cannot convince someone that they are not alone if they refuse to see you or your heart. Sometimes all you can do is show up as real and as compassionate as you can. Sometimes that is enough.”
— Randall Wolfe
It’s a strange thing having so many people whom I feel so close to yet in all probability will never meet face to face. With my friends on the net I have laughed and cried, shared confidences, argued with and have shared both joy and sorrow.Yet it occurs to me, with most of our interactions being somewhat removed there is no way to show sincerity or lack of it. I mean I am pretty conscious of where I am coming from at any given time and being authentic only becomes more important to me with the passing of time. Yet I have only my words and presence to speak for myself.
Perhaps that isn’t so different from life off line at that.
Blessings, G
“We can’t control what thoughts visit our mind. We can however decide which ones live there.”
— Randall Wolfe
I’m sure its possible through meditation and mindfulness to gain control over an unruly mind to one extent or another. For me, though there are times when unwanted and/or unkind thoughts pass through my mind. Sometimes they may be born of frustration. Sometimes there may be self-pity. All of those things that if I deny falling pray to, I call myself both a liar and a fool. Still tho most often I can see these thoughts for what they are and either reason my way through them or realize that the opposite is also true. Thus if I don’t directly kick out my frustrated and angry visitors at least I show them the door and allow them to pass through. It’s amazing how much awareness and seeing these thoughts for what they are helps.
Blessings, G
“Each person, a gateway to another universe…we walk in and through as well as with each other both inviting and sharing in exploration and creation”
— Randall Wolfe
You invite me with your eyes and smile and I step through to the universe you inhabit. It is a bit unsettling how well I know it yet so strange at the same time. Colours and sensations that I take for granted seem to have acquired new hues.. THe streets we walk down have an unaccustomed rhythm tho I have been there many times. They run to your beat not mine… a bit slower and flavourful. I feel so close to you right now wrapped up in your reality as soon we will be wrapped in mine. I look forward to see what universe we shall build together….
Blessings, G
Naiad Bathing by G A Rosenberg 
