My Shadowed Self

 

“We tremble with the violence of the conflict within us,—of the definite with the indefinite—of the substance with the shadow.”
— Edgar Allan Poe

 

I speak a lot about shadow and the parts of us we don’t want to face. I believe that if we don’t give voice to our own hidden depths that we will never be able to live a realized life. I have fought myself as much as anyone and ended up bruised and battered on a regular basis. Yet somehow either through fantasy or creating art or through seeing the worst parts of myself emerging during times of relationship stress those parts have come through. We all contain multitudes and I know there are still parts that have not yet found their voice and as with most of us they are often the parts that scream the loudest. The most heartening thing is that I no longer fear that inner shadow. I know that I cannot control it and it will emerge when it will. I have learned tho that seeking to reign it in gives it strength and while I cannot control my shadow, it cannot control me either. I have to learn to acknowledge it and coexist and to not fear it. For that way I will know myself and so better actualize my existence.
Blessings, G

 

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A Face From the AbyssA Face From the Abyss by G A Rosenberg

 

Spear ExpansionSpear Expansion by G A Rosenberg

 

Embracing Our Completer Selves

 

“We live with our archetypes, but can we live in them?”
— Poul Anderson

 

Who are we? Who do we want to be? Are we the businessman / Emperor archetype who somewhat benevolently brings order to our underlings existence? Are we the rebel / Punk who wants everything torn down? Are we an artist or a Mother Nature expanding in self expression? Do we try so hard to live inside our chosen archetypes that we deny expression to other aspects of ourself that run counter to them? What parts of ourselves do we keep hidden in the shadows because they don’t fit our internal image of who we should be?
In my experience, the more we make ourselves into something that only partially represents, the more we deny our own identities. We can’t defeat our shadow by denying it, it will always win in the end. It is only by embracing everything that we are, giving it all full expression that we can fully self-actualize and truly know what our purpose in life may be.
Blessings, G

 

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SerpentSerpent by G A Rosenberg

 

Celling out (Abstract)Celling Out by G A Rosenberg

 

The Serpent and the Sword (Botis)The Serpent and The Sword (Botis) by G A Rosenberg

Stretching Boundaries — A Thought Stream

 

“Everything has boundaries. The same holds true with thought. You shouldn’t fear boundaries, but you should not be afraid of destroying them. That’s what is most important if you want to be free: respect for and exasperation with boundaries.”
― Haruki Murakami

 

Pushing at boundaries, every day picking an area in my life where I can go further than I have before. I walk the dog a bit further and get more exercise. I spend a few more moments cleaning up. I start a new form of ritual or meditation or meditate a bit longer. I say hello to one more person or have a conversation with a stranger. I do something I have never done before. I read more pages or post a bit more. Perhaps I find a new way of being more honest with myself and others…I still have boundaries but I’ve expanded my capacity for life. The more we can do that the more we can do and be in both an inward and an outward sense…Oh we still have boundaries…yet to be free is to be boundless so the more those boundaries are stretched the freer we are…
Blessings, G

 

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Invitation to RenewalInvitation to a Fiery Renewal by G A Rosenberg

 

Inside Very Complex MoleculesInside Very Complex Molecules by G A Rosenberg

Flinging Poo

“Even Benny Benedict’s “One Month to Go” column was based on that illusion. Benny had actually read Darwin once, in college a long time ago, and had heard of sciences like ethology and ecology, but the facts of evolution had never really registered on him. He never thought of himself as a primate. He never realized his friends and associates were primates. Above all, he never understood that the alpha males of Unistat were typical leaders of primate bands. As a result of this inability to see the obvious, Benny was constantly alarmed and terrified by the behavior of himself, his friends and associates and especially the alpha males of the pack. Since he didn’t know it was ordinary primate behavior, it seemed just awful to him.
 

Since a great deal of primate behavior was considered just awful, most of the domesticated primates spent most of their time trying to conceal what they were doing.

Some of the primates got caught by other primates. All of the primates lived in dread of getting caught.

Those who got caught were called no-good shits.

The term no-good shit was a deep expression of primate psychology. For instance, one wild primate (a chimpanzee) taught sign language by two domesticated primates (scientists) spontaneously put together the signs for “shit” and “scientist” to describe a scientist she didn’t like. She was calling him shit-scientist. She also put together the signs for “shit” and “chimpanzee” for another chimpanzee she didn’t like. She was calling him shit-chimpanzee.

“You no-good shit,” domesticate primates often said to each other.

— Robert Anton Wilson

 

Robert Anton Wilson goes on to say that the way that many of us avoid our fear of being identified as ‘no-good shits’ is by pointing out other ‘no good shits’. Looking around at social media (among other things) I’d have to agree with him. I have been guilty of this myself in the past, looking at others who are doing wrong in the world or in their lives, those who I considered to be much worse than me.
“Look at those people who abuse or abandon their kids.”
“Look at what our nation’s leaders are doing now.”
“I can’t stand people who lie to themselves”
Hell it beats working on myself to become more self-actualized and aware. I am not saying we should not stay aware of what’s happening in the news or even of behaviour we see in others as much as staying self-critical and compassionate. It also helps when I realize that I have baggage too.
Blessings, G

 

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Lizard EyeLizard Eye by G A Rosenberg

 
Portal VoyagePortal Voyage by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – February 1 2013

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

When’s the last new thing you’ve tried? When’s the last time you left your comfort zone and jumped for something new? When is the last time you dropped your identity and adopted a new one? What stopped you? This life amidst all the pain and all the junk can be one big playground and even the bad parts are better than no parts at all. We are a reflection of the all, the drop in the ocean that carries the ocean within it. It’s not a matter of courage, just a matter of actualizing. Go for it.

Blessings, G

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This Ain't Wonderland
This Ain’t Wonderland by G A Rosenberg
Firetongues
FIre Tongues by G A Rosenberg

Quote of the Day – March 27 2012

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
–Mahatma Gandhi

 

This reminds me of the Richard Bachman quote, “Argue for your limitations and sure enough they’re yours” It seems for so long I’ve told myself that I could not do certain things and worse yet believed others that I could not do them that I never really tried.
Three years ago I would never have believed that I would be consistently creating visual art that people liked. I had some talent with Photoshop but saw it as an extension of my computer skills not as anything visual.
Then I started feeling some awakenings of consciousness. Then I started hanging out and talking to some very cool people who encouraged my writing efforts and told me that self-expression was of great importance. I started meditating more and creating more. I didn’t think much of it. I have always done some writing and now I had more to express than I had in years. I even started making youtube videos. Out of this came more amazing friendships, more roads to exploration of myself, the universe and our interconnectedness and more need for self expression.
One day in order to avoid writing an essay, I decided to start a new project. I had always practiced meditation and reading with the tarot. What would it be like to do a poem or haiku for each of the cards. I would do one a night, choosing the card at random for 78 nights, just to see if I could do it. This was my project in 2009. You can find some examples here (http://grosenberg.wordpress.com/page/100/ ) and the pages surrounding it.

The project was completed successfully and then I started considering if, properly illustrated this collection of haikus might make an interesting book.  I decided to start using my Photoshop skills to start doing collage work. I surprised myself by actually being quite good at it.  It satisfies a need of self-expression in me like few things I have done before and that some of my work has touch others amazes me in ways I never thought possible.

If I had continued telling myself that I couldn’t draw or I couldn’t do visual art than none of that would have been possible. What other ways have I limited myself  by never tryings? What ways do you do it? More and more I believe it is our destiny to self-actualize in as many ways as possible and very little is impossible.

Blessings, G

 

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Heart Shine by G A Rosenberg