The Emperor Reading

Continuing on with the spreads for each of the Major Arcana trumps suggested by Rachel Pollack in her book Tarot Wisdom.:

1)How am I an Emperor King of Pentacles RWPentaclesKing
2) How am I not an Emperor? King of Wands (Reversed) King of Wands
3) Where do I need to take charge? King of Cups (Reversed) King of Cups
4)Who Will Help Me Do This? 2-The High Priestess(Reversed)</strong RW_HighPriestess
5) How am I weak? Knight of Pentacles (Reversed) Knight of Pentacles
6) How am I strong? 5-The Hierophant RWhierophant
7) What are the rules? 3-The Empress (Reversed) 3-The Empress

Interpretation (or at least definitions)

How am I an Emperor? K of Pentacles“Successful, Secure with wealth and possibly honor and likes it that way””Alexander the Great””benefactor for a project…focuses on material things with satisfaction and pride rather than selfishness or obsessioni would wonder if this is talking about family background? I do know thats not all of it

How am I not the Emperor? K of Wands (Rev)“Tested or in anyway confined, he may react angrily..difficult circumstances may cause him to doubt himself uncharacteristically” well, to quote Groucho “That certainly sounds like me”

Where do I need to take charge?K of Cups (Rev)“blocked creativity, frustration””misuses power” “Coming out with anger or fear revealing long hidden feelings” Again, pretty clear, I need to keep myself creating, deal with things as they come up,express doubts, etc

What will help me do this? High Priestess (Rev)“must get involved in the world especially if one has spent time away” “this card can remind us to be passionate and commit ourselves to something community building, teaching, giving advice .

How am I weak? Knight of Pentacles (Rev)</strong “inertia-allowing others to take advantage. can also indicate taking more chances”> ’nuff said>

How am I strong? Hierophant (Rev)“Unorthodoxy rejects path laid out by society or family and goes his or her own way. Freedom but with freedom comes the responsibility of choosing wisely “

What are the rules?The Empress (Rev) “Reversed the Empress becomes more cautious or more thoughtful”

Both of the last two seem rather obvious but as with the Empress reading where i had trouble figuring out the connections, here they seem too obvious so if anyone wants to comment or otherwise message me to give me insight–it would be appreciated.

A Swim in my consciousness stream

So decided to recreate what goes through my mind when I am at the gym on a typical day….not included are thoughts about weight, reps exercises and sets or random mammalian thoughts about the attractiveness of other people at the gym.

The fnords are real but not literal…”unique reality”…I had to stop free-associating when they started charging by the thought… chronologically older = different reference points and markers.. .Alice in Wonderland was a shamanic journey … the queen of hears represented the establish order– anything that interfered “Off with their heads”. Humpty-Dumpty -general semanticist – “When I use a word it means exactly what i want it to mean” — The caterpillar was the Hierophant (or guide) One side of his mushroom makes you larger –another makes you small — “You’re nothing but a deck of cards” — Time moving at different rates — If symbol was reality and words were real, what would we surround ourselves with? –The map reflects the territory reflects the map — they resonate together– sympathetic magic — I am a spot on the map yet the territory is contained within me–curiouser and curiouser–It’s all one and all a dream–masks & layers = maps & territories = symbols and reality–the only real currency we have is attention–

Hope you enjoyed the dip

Curiouser and Curiouser

Wow, this week has been amazing.
All week I’ve been given these little insights that have been coming from within-The first, I wrote about here was: “Don’t run from your fear walk with it” The next night in a very similar manner, I was walking Rufus, enjoying the stillness of the evening and inside myself I heard “Give yourself permission to be awesome.” I was thunderstruck by this. I almost felt like I should have been transfixed by joy upon hearing it but it just seemed like a natural thing. Earlier in the week, I had been comparing myself to others and all my old insecurities about not being good enough and not measuring up went through me. All of a sudden with those words “Give yourself permission to be awesome” echoing through me, I came to the realization that I would not be able to recognize the qualities I saw in other people if I did not either have those qualities in myself or the capacity for those qualities.
Last night the message was short and sweet “You need not” and indeed there was nothing that I felt I needed. I felt complete in a way I haven’t in awhile

Tonight was perhaps the most intense. Earlier this evening I was reading the book Serpent of Light Beyond 2012 by Drunvalo Melchizedek and in it I read about the movement of the earth’s Kundalini energy from Tibet to its new home in Peru. According to Melchizedek the energy reached a blockage at the Panama Canal (a manmade break between North and South America). Native people of many tribes and nations came together to perform the Ceremony of The Eagle and The Condor (representing North and South America). This ceremony helped to free the blockage. This occurred in 2001 and was foretold in both the Hopi and Mayan calendars.
After reading about the ceremony, I researched it a bit online and watched a trailer for a film made about the ceremony (see below). I came away from this feeling strangely unblocked and liberated.
I then took Rufus for his walk 🙂 I felt this intense sense of the flow of the universe and my place in it. How vast it all was and how right it all was. and then i realized that on another level the vast universe I perceived was inside of me and felt this weird mental shift that was almost out of Lewis Carroll from feeling inside the universe to feeling the universe inside of me, back and forth. With it, came this feeling of joy.
Sometimes I question my sanity but it all feels right.

Chapel Perilous

So, this week, one by one all my little fear monkeys have been coming out to play. Could be because so many of the good folk on Spirit Refuge (SR)have been talking about facing their fears. It could just be that since I have once again started consciously following this path (Oh, I’ve always been on it, just decided to become more conscious 🙂
So it seems like every other day either an old insecurity or fear that I thought I had dealt with comes running into my head gibbering away. There seem to be a few that I had never met before, but then the kennels back in those dark corners have been around for ages so no doubt some have bred.
There seems to be a difference. Where once, I would run from the fears and withdraw, now I am inviting them to walk beside me.
Maybe as i pass people I know, I’ll introduce them to my fears. Who knows maybe I’ll dress them up in funny hats and teach them to perform.
Funny, when they chased me, my fears were huge. Walking besides me, one or two still cast large shadows, but the fears themselves seem to be shrinking. As I get to know them better, i can even see where they might have been useful once,
Odd thing too, didn’t there use to be more of them?
No doubt, a few will make some noise every now and then, but these fears are almost cute and they are telling me …good-bye

The Empress Reading

Continuing with the readings suggested by Rachel Pollack in her book Tarot Magic. This reading is even more puzzling than usual. Part of it is that I am too close. It is on the two main qualities of the Empress, passion and nurturing and the effect they have on our lives. Comments are appreciated.

1-What is my passion? Page of Pentacles Page of Pentacles
2-How have I expressed it? VI of Cups (reversed)
VI of Cups
VI of Cups
3-How can I express it more fully? IX of Wands IX of Wands
4-What blocks me? III of Pentacles (reversed)
III of Pentacles
III of Pentacles
5-What frees me? VI of Pentacles

VI of Pentacles
VI of Pentacles
6-What do I nurture 10-Wheel of Fortune (reversed)
10-Wheel of Fortune
10-Wheel of Fortune
7-What does it ask of me? IX of Cups
IX of Cups
IX of Cups
8-What does it give me? Ace of Wands
Ace of Wands
Ace of Wands
9-How can I bring together my passion and my nurturance? IV of Pentacles (reversed)
IV of Pentacles
IV of Pentacles

What is my passion? Page of Pentacles-“A student or beginner in magic or any other area of learning. Fascination with something, without the need to do anything except follow the wonder of it” “Altenatively, grounding something real and solid” So I love to learn new things, yep, i enjoy creating

How have I expressed it? VI of Cups (rev)-“Letting go of the past, possibly a more honest look at families or other relationships; ..healing the memories of childhood” So i have expressed it by a continuous series of breaking things off from my past but have also been pretty good at putting that past into perspective

How can I express it more fully?IX of Wands-“Card of fulfilment; of energy, creativity excitement and inspiration; courage and strength in the situation” So i can learn more by creating and inspiring; helping others to create

What blocks me?III of Pent (rev)”Mediocre work; dissatisfaction, especially from conflicts or lack of opportunity; Failure to recognize the beauty of your normal life” So dissatisfaction in my normal life and not feeling like I am doing my best has been blocking me from both learning and creating?” or it is something that i need to go beyond?

What frees me? VI of Pentacles-“Partnership in work and other practical areas, Harmony in the workplace, charity, justice working out in people’s lives; Spirituality in daily life” Hmm so putting my ideals into practice; becoming a more spiritual person will help me to become more creative

What do I nurture?X-Wheel of Fortune (rev) “It also shows someone who begins the difficult process of self -examination; of learning to stop blaming bad luck for whatever disaster his or her life has become” So do I help others to see this? by talking? by example? At this point, I know that whatever good or bad is in my life, i have manifested it and it is what i need to grow, luck is not a part of it, and as far as blaming others, i manifested them in my life too. ;D

What does it ask of me? IX of Cups-“Focus on what is lasting and meaningful rather than what is lost or impermanent; something born out of imagination or powerful emotion” 😀 ;D

What does it give me? Ace of Wands-“Energy, life, health, copurage, forcefulness, simplicity, the very beginning of something exciting, enthusiasm”

How can I bring together my passion and my nurturance?IV of Pentacles(reverse)-“Lack of structure in daily life. Emotional vulnerability. Hesitation about helping others” Hmm I don’t believe that it is telling me to hesitate in helping others except that i need to learn how to help them–not give people the answers but help them find their own truth as i find mine”


I get it. I am manifesting these “interruptions” because they are the show. “And now the prologue….” Indeed.

I get the lesson about water., I guess I needed the universe to shout at me.

Zev is a wonderful growing being and he is amazing. He is the show
Lately I have been feeling the need / desire go with need to manifest in other ways. Ye olde balancing act again.

So many balance and I manifest them all. A True Libra
I love my silliness.
Growing feels soooo good and it is sooo painful.

It’ interesting when I asked the cards what my next video should be about. What came out was “The Hanged Man”. O think that the question that that was answering was “What lesson do I need the most. Water, hanging upside down, seeking answers from reflection Mem

Are all my lessons going to come this way lately?



What am I trying to tell myself? Be like water man, be like water, take the path of least resistance, erode the rocks in my way. I even know i am manifesting all this but sometimes hitting myself with a baseball bat would be a lot less frustrating. ;D . Of course i am manifesting the frustration also. i know and i forget, its clear and its muddy and sometimes just plain muddled. take me self. take me universe, just let me flow……