Social media is nuts. People tend to ignore or forget everything they have ever learned about interacting with other people whether it be friends or strangers. Because it is the internet and people can’t see your face, there is a feeling that we can get away with noxious interactions and then we get surprised (and perhaps part of us delights in it) when it blows up in our faces. People will do what they do but this has become somewhat tedious to watch. I also find myself, all too often either being pulled into these conflicts myself or occasionally forgetting these things myself so I post this as a reminder to myself as much as to others. If you want to have productive conversations on FB (and other social media), it tends to work just as it does offline.
On Facebook, someone’s wall would be equivalent to their living room or house. When you friend someone you are inviting them into public conversations that you would have at home. If you blast someone for something they post on their wall, it is the equivalent of sitting in their living room with them and a bunch of either their friends or mutual friends and sharply criticizing what they say. It’s pretty fucking rude! In real life, this would be met by either a bunch of people rushing to defend and there would probably be an ensuing argument or donnybrook or you would be issued a sharp invitation (perhaps forcibly) to leave. If there is a need to call a friend out on something (and this does arise) in the offline world, you would pull them aside or wait until there is some privacy and talk to them. In FB, this could be done in real time using PM. Easy enough to do and at worst you lose one friend rather than marking yourself out as a public douche.
Chat rooms, groups and public forums are a different matter. Those are more like meetings in a lodge or clubhouse. Would you call out a friend in a club you both belong to? You might challenge something they are saying. Most of us (at least the more mature) know the difference between attacking someone’s statements and attacking someone personally. If not there are lots of guides online to logical fallacies (https://thebestschools.org/magazine/15-logical-fallacies-know/ is a good one) and I would suggest checking them out.
Basically, productive communication is productive communication whether it be online or off. I know that some people get off on being trolls and there is even entertainment value there but if you’re going to be that kind of asshole, its better in my opinion to do it intentionally.
Berkano Rune by GAR
Gebo Rune by GAR
Breaking From the Shell (redux) by GAR