“You may never understand
how the stranger is inspired
but he isn’t always evil
and he is not always wrong”
–Billy Joel, The Stranger
Who is the stranger that Billy refers to in the song? He is our shadow self. The unexpressed side of our being that many of us keep a tight lid on out of fear. What am I so afraid of? I used to ask myself this all the time. Occasionally I would examine my fears. I am afraid that people will see me for who I am and they will reject me? It took me a long time to realize that what I was afraid people would see was that stranger, that shadow side of myself. The side of myself that sometimes disapproved of others or who got angry or demanded attention. I was so afraid that I kept throwing myself into situations where I was forced to either acknowledge those parts of myself or bury them deeper. Far too often I did the latter.
That’s the thing about repressing our shadow side however.The more we repress it; the stronger the shadow becomes and eventually if we don’t acknowledge it, it breaks free around the edges and causes all kinds of potential harm. Where does this fear come from? We all have this hidden side and if we can see it in ourselves then surely we can give others room to show theirs as well. If repressing our shadow makes it stronger, what happens if we bring it into the light?
”To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. Once one has experienced a few times what it is like to stand judgingly between the opposites, one begins to understand what is meant by the self. Anyone who perceives his shadow and his light simultaneously sees himself from two sides and thus gets in the middle.”
Carl Jung
“Good and Evil in Analytical Psychology” (1959). In CW 10. Civilization in Transition. P.872
Great image! I was once told that if I did not allow my shadow self to come forth, give it it’s rightful say, I would never be truly happy.