My mother passed away this morning after being very sick for way too long. So much of who I am comes from her and I will miss her even more than I realize.
Now she has moved beyond pain. I love you mom.
Gloria Lewis (10/17/37 – 10/01/11)
Today my mother went into a hospice. I had been there in Florida for the past week with my family, watching her slowly deteriorate. Now at least she will be made comfortable. Even tho I realize that it is merely the body that dies, a setting aside of clothes that no longer fit and that soon she will be much happier and free of physical pain, saying goodbye or even abientot has been harder, even than I thought.
“I died a mineral and became a plant.
I died a plant and rose an animal.
I died an animal and I was a man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?
Yet once more I shall die as man, to soar
With the blessed angels; but even from angel hood
I must pass on. All except God perishes.
When I have sacrificed my angel soul,
I shall become that which no mind ever conceived.
O, let me not exist! for Nonexistance proclaims,
“To Him we shall return.””
Heavy Thoughts and feelings running through tonight. On love and death. In the next day or so, as in the proceeding few days, I will have to say goodbye in this lifetime to my mother. She’s been very sick for quite awhile and I know that it in many ways is a good thing. She will slip this physical shell , that is the least important part of her and go on to the next great adventure. Still those of us left behind will miss her greatly. Many people, including myself find her to be an extraordinary woman and much of who I am comes from her. Elements of my sense of humour, my impatience with foolishness and my passion comes from her for sure.
Still as I said, it has been evident for some time that she has been ready to go on, emotionally, mentally and physically.
I have to say all in all I disagree with Dylan Thomas. Going gently into that good night can sometimes be the best thing possible. Asking someone to rage against it out of a desire to hold someone here when their bodies and minds are suffering seems cruel. Sorry about the heaviness of my words but I won’t apologize for the heaviness of my being. I will miss being able to call my mother up whenever I have something on my mind or just to say hi. I will miss our political discussions and I will miss her greatly. Of course she lives on in my heart and in my memories and I don’t believe that there is EVER a dying of the light but that the light continues its journey through eternity ever becoming. Namaste. –G A Rosenberg
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Pulled into Love’s Orbit by G A Rosenberg