“Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”
― Kahlil Gibran
Perhaps the perfect time to talk about sadness is when I’m not feeling particularly sad yet feeling attuned to the sadness of others. There does seem to be more than enough to go around. Yet joy and sorrow do have one of those weird conservation of energy relationships. They can’t be created or destroyed but they can be converted one to the other. I do know that the people I have met who feel sorrow the deepest are the ones who seem to have the greatest capacity for joy and vice versa. Yet when feeling joy, how much is sorrow in our minds and when feeling deep sorrow, that 2 Am grey ashes in the soul feeling, joy feels out of the question, something almost unattainable.Oddly enough about the only way to heal another’s sorrow seems to be a willingness to listen and shoulder some of it if only as a witness. By drawing off some of the sorrow, then perhaps joy can slowly reawaken.
Blessings, G
“Sometimes the most healing gift we can give someone is to just be a witness to the pain and chaos of their life experiences. Certainly we are incapable of explaining why the big mysteries come upon us as they do. There are times when offering explanations even adds to the confusion. Sometimes the wisest position to take is to let a friend pour out her sorrow and rage, her anger and fear – listen to the big scream – and not flinch. Just listen and let the shock waves run over you like the sounds of screaming children who will gradually calm down and fall asleep from exhaustion. Painful life passages are exhausting, especially when mixed with mystery. You don’t know when they will end – and you can even begin to believe they will never end. But they always come to an end. Screaming children always stop screaming – even the loudest ones. But you can begin to believe they can actually scream forever – and they can’t tell you why. It’s a mystery. You can only do your best to make sure nothing is seriously wrong and then make them as comfortable as possible. But imagine if you were not there… how traumatic would that be for that child? Or for a friend’ inner child that is absorbing the fear of a life transition? We are all standing in the Witness position of someone or something. It is a powerful place to stand.”
— Caroline Myss
To know someone is there. To know someone can see me pass through the fire. I can feel their wordless presence and it gives me strength. They might not know what it’s like. They may never feel this and I hope they don’t but they are there. There is an outside to this that they attest to and I know that I will find my way out of my pain and back to where they are. Even if they don’t understand. When I have passed through this may I be able to be a witness to the struggles of others so that they can know they are not alone.
Blessings, G
“One of the most loving things you can do for a friend is give them space to be broken without trying to fix them.”
— Randall Wolfe
Humans are problem-solving beings. When someone, especially a loved one, comes to us unhappy and bereft it is a reflex to try to solve their problems. In my experience this is not always either the best or the most loving thing to do. Some hurts are too big and so wounds to deep to think that a kiss and a bandaid of words will help. Sometimes the best and most compassionate thing we can do is to bear silent witness to their pain and give them space to grieve. In the long run this aids their healing process. If they are feeling victimized or delusional about their own culpability in the situation, it is much better to give them a chance to realize it themselves rather than either agree and foster their victimhood or point out their own responsibility and cause resentment. If they are wounded, even by themselves, it is better to let the wound heal a bit before discussing anything of that nature. Listening and being present is often the most compassionate thing we can do.
Blessings, G
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She Walked Through a Dream and the Dream Returned the Favour by G A Rosenberg
“Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.”
― Alan Wilson Watts
Listen. Can you feel the force of life itself listening through you? There is a river of being that flows through us and is part of us. Everything that we perceive is part of that river and if we shut off all the static, the judgements, the emotions that block that flow, we can watch and hear what happens. A universal perspective isn’t easy but its a great perspective to get into. Knowing for the time that we do it, there is no right or wrong just being. There is always time for what comes next.
Blessings, G
“Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor in it.”
― Ram Dass
Stepping back
Step back from my body
I witness the pain
witness the discomfort
and the pleasure
from this vantage
they are one and the same
sensations across the skin
Step back from emotion
love, sorrow, rage
again one and the same
weather patterns across a landscape
so much bigger and smaller than myself
Step back from my thoughts
that ever shifting pattern
given colour by my feelings
beliefs, whims, notions, insights
I step back and watch the play unfold
at once player and audience
improving wildly yet knowing
it is but pantomime
the witness sees all
knowing this life
to be but one act
in an eternal storyline….
— G A Rosenberg
“No, life has not disappointed me. On the contrary, I find it truer, more desirable, and mysterious every year.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
As I get older I find that life does gain a texture that I didn’t perceive when I was younger. Its not that it wasn’t there, I got too caught up in the moment to moment drama to appreciate it. Now I find that even the hard moments have a beauty to them. This is especially true when I can step out of the moment and perceive it. Conflicts with loved ones when you’re caught up in them are painful and yet taking the witness perspective, I can see it as each of us being who we are and it being an interplay of personalities. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the pain just that I can see it in context as part of a pattern. This also becomes true of the day to day annoyances. I consider it a victory if when I am caught in a traffic jam or a construction zone or in transit delays if I can use the time to meditate or contemplate something fun. Perhaps just constructing a play on words or a dirty joke. It helps.
Blessings, G
“Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor in it.”
― Ram Dass
There is part of our awareness that is called in Eastern philosophy Turiya, that Ken Wilber refers to as the witness. It is the part of ourselves that watches everything unfold in our consciousness without judgement, not acting but watching emotions, thoughts and actions that flow by. Whenever I get caught up in the day to day, forgetting in the words of Richard Bach, that what is going on around me “is not reality” I try hard to imagine how this witness sees what is going on and it tends to calm me down pretty quickly. It definitely tends to help with the raising of a fourteen year old and helps even more in dealings with others in general I find. Oh I still find myself prone to irritation and frustration but relating to the witness it just becomes part of the ever present flow of being.
Blessings, G
“How can we know the dancer from the dance?”
~William Butler Yeats
How indeed? Is it even necessary to try? We all have our dance defined by our own spirits, each a part of the great dance that everything is part of Each life, each part of each life becomes its own step. Yet there exists that witness, the part of us that sees and watches everything. To my mind, not so much something separate from our dance but what connects us to that greater dance and greater dancer we are part of.
Namaste, G
“Call it… joy. The thing like pleasure that you feel when you’ve done a good thing or passed up a real tempting chance to do a bad thing. Or when the unfolding of the universe just seems especially apt. It’s nowhere near as flashy and intense as pleasure can be. Believe me! But it’s got something going for it. Something that can make you do without pleasure, or even accept a lot of pain, to get it.”
–Spider Robinson
Thinking about all the times I went for the quick fixes of pleasure and / or comfort only because I believed that I didn’t deserve joy. Little did I know that joy was my earned birthright. You earn it by opening yourself up to feeling it.
Joy doesn’t mean you don’t see the world and its troubles, Joy does give you the awareness to know that you can handle them and that ultimately you CAN do what needs to be done..
Eyes of the Storm by G A Rosenberg 
Hounding My Dreams by G A Rosenberg 
