Tag Archives: communicating with the heart

Bearing Witness to the Pain of Another

 

“One of the most loving things you can do for a friend is give them space to be broken without trying to fix them.”
— Randall Wolfe

 

Humans are problem-solving beings. When someone, especially a loved one, comes to us unhappy and bereft it is a reflex to try to solve their problems. In my experience this is not always either the best or the most loving thing to do. Some hurts are too big and so wounds to deep to think that a kiss and a bandaid of words will help. Sometimes the best and most compassionate thing we can do is to bear silent witness to their pain and give them space to grieve. In the long run this aids their healing process. If they are feeling victimized or delusional about their own culpability in the situation, it is much better to give them a chance to realize it themselves rather than either agree and foster their victimhood or point out their own responsibility and cause resentment. If they are wounded, even by themselves, it is better to let the wound heal a bit before discussing anything of that nature. Listening and being present is often the most compassionate thing we can do.
Blessings, G

 

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She Walked Through a DreamShe Walked Through a Dream and the Dream Returned the Favour by G A Rosenberg

 

Meeting at the TorMeeting at the Tor by G A Rosenberg

 

Quote of the Day – February 22 2012

“Listen to your heart. Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.”
Paulo Coelho

Listen to your heart yes but even more important as I’ve been learning lately is listening with your heart.

I have always had a reputation for being a quick study. I can usually read what someone is saying within a spoken line or two. I tended to get impatient after that, finishing what they had to say sometimes putting a question mark at the end because tho I was a fool, I didn’t want to think of myself as an arrogant putz. So much for that idea. I missed something in the equation that I’ve just started figuring out lately. It’s not important only that a person be understood but that they feel listened to as well. I’m getting a bit better at it. I still have a ways to go. It’s a funny thing tho the more I’ve been listening, the more I’ve learned that what a person is saying is only part of the picture. The rest you can’t hear with your brains or your ears but only by listening with your heart.

When you listen with your heart, not only do you hear what a person is saying but what they want to say. Not only their words but the feelings, perhaps unspoken to that they’re saying as well. When I’ve listened with my brain, far too often I was looking for flaws in what they were saying. Perhaps I thought I was being helpful, finding ways in which their statement could be improved or corrected but I don’t want to be the person who does that anymore. Sometimes the help a person needs is not to be corrected but to be considered. That doesn’t mean blindly agreeing, It means absorbing their communication and answering back with what I honestly feel and if I do disagree, then state it without equivocation but making them feel that they’ve been heard. That’s who I’m looking to be now. It will take practice and I’ll screw it up sometimes but I feel like I might be on the right track with this listening stuff. Thanks, G

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Initiation by G A Rosenberg