“One of the most loving things you can do for a friend is give them space to be broken without trying to fix them.”
— Randall Wolfe
Humans are problem-solving beings. When someone, especially a loved one, comes to us unhappy and bereft it is a reflex to try to solve their problems. In my experience this is not always either the best or the most loving thing to do. Some hurts are too big and so wounds to deep to think that a kiss and a bandaid of words will help. Sometimes the best and most compassionate thing we can do is to bear silent witness to their pain and give them space to grieve. In the long run this aids their healing process. If they are feeling victimized or delusional about their own culpability in the situation, it is much better to give them a chance to realize it themselves rather than either agree and foster their victimhood or point out their own responsibility and cause resentment. If they are wounded, even by themselves, it is better to let the wound heal a bit before discussing anything of that nature. Listening and being present is often the most compassionate thing we can do.
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