“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
— Carl Jung
Too long have I been blinded
by sleight of hand candles
held by charismatic fools.
I was a moth diving in
losing myself in their flames
Badly singed I turned away from all
within my darkness I found the true light
calling from within
I discovered self pride and self will
and a light brighter than any candle could be
Pulled within I could find myself outside the well.
— G A Rosenberg
“The Shoe that Fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases”
— Carl Jung
2016 was both a year of growth and a year of confusion for me. In some ways I realized more of my ambitions than I have before. Yet I find myself with less definition of conviction than ever before. This was at least partially due to my reaction to the US Presidential election. It seems people were so polarized and had definite feelings of the rightness of their case. So many of these reactions seemed and still do unreasoned. I found myself growing more and more uncomfortable with the polarization that has been happening. People seem to be using their opinions to justify bad behaviour on both sides and there is little willingness to either challenge one’s own beliefs (something which is one of the few rules I have for myself) or be open to those of others. People justify their beliefs not because they have tested them and won out but because they can find them mirrored in the beliefs of almost all of their friends and social media acquaintances. I regret having to say this but if all of your friends agree with your political views no matter what they are, you need to widen your circle of friends.
“I do not write for a select minority, which means nothing to me, nor for that adulated platonic entity known as ‘The Masses’. Both abstractions, so dear to the demagogue, I disbelieve in. I write for myself and for my friends, and I write to ease the passing of time.”
— Jorge Luis Borges
To ease the passing of time I write and create art. Oh time will pass easily enough, perhaps too much so and there are so many moments where I have so little to show for it. I create to at least have my footprints in the sand. To show where I’ve been if only to see it all wash away. Thus I understand why graffiti artists tag seeking if not recognition acknowledgement of existence. Oh there are other reasons as well tho perhaps they are less honest.
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Sometimes Random Patterns Take on Life by G A Rosenberg
“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery and isolation. Isolation is a gift… All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it… And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds… and it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”
~ Charles Bukowski
This year, for a number of reasons I have decided to work on my physical aspect. Over the last couple of rather taxing years, I had let myself become rather sedentary and ate a lot of my frustrations. I had started smoking again and was up to over a pack a day. So once January hit, I decided I would take action.
1) January – I quit smoking cold turkey.
2) February – Diet and more activity. I stopped eating by eight PM. I stopped eating cheese. I started drinking lots of tea both to suppress appetite and to clean the body. I walked 10,000 Steps a day. I lost about 13 lbs and achieved my goal weight for the month.
3) March – Continue Diet and increase exercise. I am up to 15 pushups twice a day. I have been riding my bike every day that the sun allows. I am up to 12,000 steps a day. While weight loss has slowed a bit I feel my body regaining its overall form.
These might seem like some what minimal goals. I purposefully chose goals that would not result in injury. I have, in the past, overcommitted and ended up unable to exercise at all and I wanted this to all be doable. It hasn’t just been a matter of extensive effort but that of committed every day constant effort and it is paying off. The next steps will be a yoga class and the gym at least 3 times a week. One step at a time