“This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Sometimes life seems to suck. We become disappointed in ourselves or in others. We may flounder spiritually or emotionally and feel lonely or angry without knowing why. We say we are going through a hard time yet is that necessarily true?
In retrospect some of the most difficult periods of my life have been when I have learned the most about who I am and of what I am capable. They have shown me who will stand by me in times of need, who may want to but can’t and who may not even want to know. I have learned during those times that I can trust everyone to some extent but to fully put my trust in myself and in the core of my being. Also, that I may bend but in reality there is very little that will ever break me.
So all times are good times. Either in their enjoyment or their lessons. Of course, some are more enjoyable than others.
“The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity.”
— Dorothy Parker
My name is Gary Rosenberg and I am a curiosity addict. I have a burning desire to know and understand most things that come across my path. It started small when I was young. I’d ask questions of my parents and later teachers and would keep leading on to the next question until I was told to go away. Then once I started reading, my addiction grew and grew. I now had a source from which I could get answers. I’d go to my connections (the library and the local book stores) and eventually had a 4 book a week habit. I was able to maintain that for quite awhile, a couple of decades at least and then the internet came into effect. I have given up sleep and meals to maintain my ever growing habit. I am not ashamed of being an information junkie. In a way I see it as a badge of pride. I will continue to ask the next question and looking for answers within or without until my dying breath. If I overdose than there are many worse ways I could imagine going.
“My destination is no longer a place, rather a new way of seeing.”
— Marcel Proust
Strip me of my tired eyes
they have seen far too much
My scarred and broken self
with its shattered hurting visions
All the colours bleached
towards an empty aching grey
all the shapes are bent and blurred
I’ve been looking for revisions
Shove me into darkness
so I can learn how to see
Cast away my clothes
leave me naked on the shore
Touch my hungry body
with sounds so soft and rare
then take away my hearing
I don’t need it anymore
My connections to the world
I have cast them all aside
No eyes, no ears, no sense of touch
no taste or smell have I
Locked into eternity
I can be reformed
with newly born perceptions
I have begun to fly.
— G A Rosenberg
“Each story we approach in the same way, with curiosity and interest and determination to get behind the image.”
— Martin Bashir
What lies beneath the surface of the images I create?
What dreams cast shadows on my eyes
and transfer themselves through conscious will
upon the screen?
What meanings have I stated outright and which
are made to slip unnoticed
into the wells of imagination?
For I seek to commune on many levels
and be not merely what one sees
but what one knows within.
— G A Rosenberg
“Art defies defeat by its very existence, representing the celebration of life, in spite of all attempts to degrade and destroy it.”
— Nadine Gordimer
Art says “We won’t give in!”
Art says “This is life as it is.”
Art says “This is life as it can be.”
Art says “This is how I feel.”
Art says “I know you feel this way sometimes too. Honour and glorify in these feelings.
Art stands for itself.
Art stands for possibility.
Art stands for honesty of the soul.
Art symbolizes the joy and tragedy of existence.
Art is the ultimate travel agent. It can take us anywhere, anytime including to ourselves.
Art is reality.
“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, each life unravels differently.”
— Shane Koyczan
This week for me has been difficult. I have been dealing with a mental health crisis of a family member which is about the hardest thing I have ever had to do. At times it feels like it would be so easy to give in to hopelessness or lose it myself or just collapse. Yet somehow, perhaps because I know I need to stay strong in the situation and because I will not give up on someone I love, I find that I have more strength than I knew. I know that I can see this through simply because it is necessary and that at the end of it, there will be clear skies and then I can relax (and possibly fall apart a bit myself). I will not give into fear (tho I acknowledge it) but will do what is needed each step of the way.
“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
— Havelock Ellis
Holding on to memories of how you were
Clinging to a happier past
So hard to recognize the truth
that happiness doesn’t always last
Giving in to wider understanding
seeing things I didn’t want to know
Your slipping away into the darkness
and I can’t stand that your light won’t show.
Giving up the last of my resistance
I realize nothing’s as it seems
You are battling your demons for you
its nightmares and not dreams
Wanting so to help you in your struggles
knowing that I cannot win this fight
Every day you recede into the distance
and there’s no way to make it right
Digging in to try and find the courage
to find the strength to give you what you need
The time for words has passed us in the distance
Now I must show my love by horrifying deed
Letting go of futures that I dreamed of
Dealing with what is happening now
Steeling myself for new tomorrows
If you hate me I’ll make it through somehow
— G A Rosenberg
“Within my right hand is allness, within my left – nothingness. Crumbling both within my fingers there shall spring forth all the yous in thatness, or not, as I so will. Belief is the lever and fulcrum to lift the world- to shift the axis of being”
— Austin Osman Spare
Who we are is a constant combination of who we have been and who we can be. We choose who we are at any given moment from a combination of everything we have experienced or learned and the infinite wellspring of possibility that is at our core. We have the power to decide who we will be tho much of our decisions are preprogrammed responses from our limbic brain and robot selves. Still if we have both mindfulness of our responses , we can break that programming. It starts with the belief that we can. It’s not easy and at times we screw it up but that’s the amazing thing about us humans. We keep trying no matter how many times we err.