“In my experience, everyone will say they want to discover the Truth, right up until they realize that the Truth will rob them of their deepest held ideas, beliefs, hopes, and dreams. The freedom of enlightenment means much more than the experience of love and peace. It means discovering a Truth that will turn your view of self and life upside-down. For one who is truly ready, this will be unimaginably liberating. But for one who is still clinging in any way, this will be extremely challenging indeed. How does one know if they are ready? One is ready when they are willing to be absolutely consumed, when they are willing to be fuel for a fire without end.”
— Adyashanti
Once again I offer you my authentic confusion. I’ve been somewhat obsessively watching the news from the U.S. and I feel dismay, anger and frustration. I am not surprised that Donald Trump revealed himself to be a bigot who would take the United States down a draconian path but that so many people would read and hear his ideas about immigration and not only find them reasonable but agree with them? Wow! A victory has been won for fear, uncertainty and doubt.
For those of us that fear the other, the internet must come as an cultural shock. Constantly we are bombarded with people who follow different religious beliefs and or lifestyles. If I lived happily in a rural area and never wished to travel and interact with different demographics I would find it difficult to be online at all. If I believed that my way of life was the only ‘correct’ one I would find myself beaten down by the realization that so many others had ‘gotten it wrong’.
Instead I have always had this intense need to understand others and try to see life from their point of view. I don’t believe that there is a wrong way except perhaps to limit myself to one viewpoint at a time.
Yet I don’t have answers and I keep discovering more questions and paradoxes as I go. I might find it comforting to stick to one point of view and eschew all others and the people who hold them. Yet that would not be being my authentic self.
Blessings, G
“Our going forth to find the greater Self is by the path we know least; by losing ourselves until we find ourselves.”
— Austin Osman Spare- The Logomachy of Zos
I know what it is to feel lost. Either through not knowing the right step to take when all the choices look either deceptively good or deceptively bad or by being so flooded by contradictory information that I don’t know which way to turn. As I’ve written before, I have grown somewhat comfortable with not having all the answers and it would be vastly out of character if I was to act as if I did. Yet sometimes the questions feel more crucial. How do I help those I love to feel safe and happy? How can I help others when I don’t know which way to turn? What if after all this time discovering even a part of who I am, I find that that part is not workable in the life that I live? Sometimes it can feel pretty dark yet it is at those times that something astounding happens. I hear a voice inside my head saying “Shhhhhh, it’s not as important as you think and you will make it through.”. That voice, that inner clown mother that tells me I am taking things way too seriously and that the only way to get through anything is just flow through till I make it. If I start drowning, I just need to keep kicking. Either I’ll make it to the surface or I’ll drown trying and that will just be another beginning. Sometimes I don’t have to win, I just have to survive . It’s the giving up that will destroy me. If times are hard for awhile, that’s just what they’ll be. That practical somewhat hopeful side of me is one I haven’t seen for awhile and I’ve missed it. An old internal friend has returned and as long as I keep going will not disappear again.
Blessings, G
Click on images to see full-sized:
Pan in the Techno Jungle by G A Rosenberg
Surrendering Her Passion For Memory by G A Rosenberg
“Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities — the political, the religious, the educational authorities — who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing — forming in our minds — their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself.”
— Timothy Leary
I like being confused. Not so much because I like what it does to my face as that I like what it does to my psyche. Every time I am sure I have the definitive answer to something, I am more than likely wrong or am settling because I am not looking deeply enough into the well of the question or the well of myself. When I am confused as I often am by the way to settle conflicts or even which way to proceed on a picture or a poem, I know that I must go deeper until I have found a solution which at least feels more right for the moment than any other. Even then the chances are that at a later point I will return to picture or writing and tweak it according to my best guess at the moment.
When I look at political situations with conflicting narratives, whether it be one of the messes in the middle east or the local teacher’s strikes I also want to be confused. It is when I have a clear vision of who is right that I shut myself off to the other narrative. All too often choosing a side does not nor will it ever resolve things. There is always greater truth and greater flow to be found. I would rather be confused and questioning than right and settling.
Blessings, G
“Every moment I sacrifice my certainty to confusion so that pathways will open up to greater understanding”
— Randall Wolfe
Jack Kerouac said that all he had to offer was his own confusion. I can relate to that. Any time I find myself certain about anything my universal kaleidoscope spins and questions rush in. I’m learning to be ok with that tho. I have met many people who have total certainty about how things work and while I used to find them infinitely magnetic, I have learned to be very weary. It seems that as soon as something becomes certain for us, we stop questioning it. What’s worse is that the longer that certainty has to set, the more solid and unbreakable it becomes to the point of being unable to allow for error. Once we allow that to happen then our growth becomes stunted and we limit our universe to just what we know. I would rather remain confused and stay open to infinite potentiality. At least that’s what I think most of the time.
Blessings, G
“What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.”
― Salvador Dalí
Yes we can know but then not consistently and what we know can often lead to doubt. Confusion? Let’s hope so. If I know with too much certainty than I can no longer learn for learning implies ignorance cured. May learning be the destination but may the confusing journey last an eternity so that each thing learned bring joy and yet more questions, more contradictions and yes more confusion. Confusion is the area outside of our maps. Confusion exists outside our comfort zone and confusion causes leaps. May the mists of confusion and the clear skies of knowledge continue to interact with my understanding forever.
Blessings, G
“What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.”
― Salvador Dalí
I prefer confusion to utter unshakeable certainty… Confusion oft gives way to insight…Certainty to a dead end. When we’re sure of something we tend to stop asking questions and use what we’re sure of as a sign post…when we question and allow a bit of confusion in, all becomes discovery. It might feel a bit less comfortable but we tend to grow the most when pushed out of our comfort zone. The more our life becomes like a zen buddhist koan, “What did our face look like before our parents were born?” or some such the more we can open up and contain possibilities.. Or maybe it’s all an excuse and like Johnny Depp I like what confusion does to my facial expressions. 🙂
Blessings, G
Shadow Quest by G A Rosenberg 
Shaping Stars by G A Rosenberg 
Vigil by G A Rosenberg 
Night Phoenix Abstract by G A Rosenberg 
Pan in the Techno Jungle by G A Rosenberg 
Surrendering Her Passion For Memory by G A Rosenberg 
Goat Mask Perspective by G A Rosenberg 
Strange Playground Labyrinth by G A Rosenberg 
At the Centre by G A Rosenberg 
Ripples by G A Rosenberg 
Life Forms by G A Rosenberg
Staring into the Abyss by G A Rosenberg
