“We sense that ‘normal’ isn’t coming back, that we are being born into a new normal: a new kind of society, a new relationship to the earth, a new experience of being human.”
― Charles Eisenstein
Midnight
and something new waits to be born
Growing below the surface
beyond understanding
yet palpable in its being
The night continues
its darkness touching my heart
or perhaps it reflects my heart’s darkness
that shadow being with whom I contest
fighting to accept it’s reality
as I fight to accept my own
Still we midwife and parent
the new beginning to come
and through uneasy partnership
comes a growing acceptance
as new life pushes through
— G A Rosenberg
“Do not pour guilt into someone’s psyche, and don’t let anyone tamper with your conscience.”
― Zeina Glo
It’s so easy to talk about emotional storms and riding out emotions both negative and positive. It’s a lot more difficult to walk the walk. I have problems from time to time with frustration. When frustrated, often my first instinct is to lash out and then close down. I have gotten better at watching it happen but still from time to time I slip. Also, occasionally I get called on it. Then my frustration with myself increased, with a good dose of guilt thrown in. Of course the end result (at my best) is that I gain self-knowledge and I become that much better at accepting what’s going on and letting the emotions flow through. At times it’s been tricky and at times I’ve hurt others (and myself) on an emotional level that I can work to heal but never quite restore.
Still it’s a part of me and I have to cop to it, Thus I dance with my shadow, embrace it and accept it. Perhaps a little more each day.
Blessings, G
“Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow”
― T.S. Eliot
We conceive things so perfectly. We have an inspiration, a moment of clarity where something we wish to manifest is perfect. Then we go about creating it and it never quite fits that conceptual vision. Some line noise gets in along the way. This could be from moment to moment distractions or it could be that the concept does not quite fit our notions of ‘how it should be’ or even that we doubt our ability to actualize our concept perfectly and the doubts become self-fulfilling prophecies. Our own shadows get in the way. Of course the more aware we become of our shadows, the more we can take them into account and the better we can manifest. These shadows are never anything to fear. In many cases, it is our shadows that inspire us to have the concept in the first place.
Blessings, G
In the last few weeks, I have had two lovely shout-outs that I wanted to express my appreciation for and to recommend the blogs of both these men unreservedly. AdamfromNorway (http://adamangel.wordpress.com) is an amazing poet, writer and artist (he does it all and rather well) and I find something to be inspired by and enjoy (he has great taste in music as well) every time I stop by his blog. His shoutout to me:
http://adamangel.wordpress.com/2014/01/18/shout-out-to-gary-grosenberg/ is much appreciated.
<strongStephen Dillard-Carroll (http://www.travelingtarot.com) has a fantastic tarot site and his explanations of each of the cards are well worth exploring. He used my Eight of Cup image and had some very nice things to say about Waking Spirals in today’s entry (http://www.travelingtarot.com/apps/blog/show/41147233-tarot-the-day-for-wednesday-january-29th-2014).
Thank you both.
“We do not escape into philosophy, psychology, and art—we go there to restore our shattered selves into whole ones.”
— Anaïs Nin
What are your tools for self-discovery? My five go-to tools in no particular order are philosophy (which for me include spirituality and theology), art, music, meditation and psychology. The more I expose myself to the thoughts and expressions of others the more understanding I have of who I am. When I see something that clicks for me, after a period of enjoyment, I reflect on why that song, that picture or sculpture or words touch me and I learn a bit more about myself. I learn even more from things that strike discord for there lies my shadow. Any reaction to art or idea is a mirror that I reflect in. Every thing I expose myself to goes into the well. Meditation shows me what lies beneath the surface of the well. Within each of us lies both multitudes and unity and everything we encounter becomes part of the discovery of ourselves.
Blessings, G
“Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you’re just a reflection of him?”
— Bill Watterson
Beneath the surface
our shadows speak
we give them voice
through our silence
and reality
through our denial that they exist.
We avoid our dark reflections
tho if we listened
what could we learn
of what we keep hidden away?
Today I didn’t speak
swallowing the pain
yet looking
and silently crying
I hear the words that I deny
I will face my shadow
and give it words
and meet myself halfway
— G A Rosenberg
“Remember you come here having already understood the necessity of struggling with yourself — only with yourself. Therefore thank everyone who gives you the opportunity.”
― G.I. Gurdjieff
We strike at our own shadows and then imagine they strike back. Oh we give these shadows names. We name them after people we believe slighted us or events that we could not control. Of course what drew those people to us in the first place. They came to express that part of ourselves we keep hidden away, that part that we need desperately to face and yet will avoid at almost any cost. Funny how often we consider them foe or nemesis when in reality they are perhaps kinder than any lover could ever be. For who else can show us so clearly what we most need to work on?
Blessings, G
“I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole”
— Carl G. Jung
Casting shadows
Auditioning everything
that I’ve discarded
so it can play its part.
If I deny it
it clings to me
If I claim it
it sings to me
that I / Not I
the parts I defy
yet at night
I know they’re there
my fear
that people will know
what I contain
it throws my meter off
Acceptance rises
and so must I
and make a plan
and make a stand
and face
what I cannot erase
that hidden self
for as I’ve been casting my shadow
it has been casting me…
— G A Rosenberg
“My skin is kind of sort of brownish pinkish yellowish white. My eyes are greyish blueish green, but I’m told they look orange in the night. My hair is reddish blondish brown, but its silver when its wet, and all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet.”
― Shel Silverstein
Unlimited Potential
We may reach for stars that do not yet exist
or seek mountains yet to emerge from the sea.
We contain multitudes of possibilities
Some which have never expressed before.
What colours are your dreams?
What is their texture?
We each possess unspoken languages
with ideas unuttered
Do we reach for our shadows to create?
Do we seek someone to sew them on for us
or do we let them fly free.
Draw with your many-hued pen
and express
a new being never seen before.
Blessings, G
“Man is a substance clad in shadows.”
–John Sterling
Wrap me in your shadows love
caress me with your fears
draw out your inner darkness babe
fill me with your tears
Draw out my inner light my pet
let it enter your abyss
we’ll create something beautiful
with each passionate kiss
be the substance to my being love
be the shadow to my soul
we’ll take what has been broken
build a new artistic whole
— G A Rosenberg
I have spoken and created a lot around shadows and identity. But it tends to be a subject of endless fascination for me. One not only of my identity and all its many aspects but that of everyone I meet as well. I love being surprised by something I have never seen in a friend or loved one and perhaps especially in someone I find difficult. There is much truth in the by now cliche that it is the ones we dislike who can teach us the most about ourselves. So when someone whom I dislike shows me something pure and beautiful I melt.
Blessings, G
I’ve done a lot of writing about shadows and personal darkness. Yet looking at the vast majority of my art, conversation and writing it all verges on brightness and aspiration and positive energy. When I get into discussions where I disagree with people I tend to pull my punches. Part of the reason for that is that usually I can see where they’re coming from. Part of it is to avoid conflict. I have some fear in that area. Not only what amount of anger or negativity may come out of the other when I’m talking to them but what I may reveal to them about my own negative side.
My temper tends towards the sharp and vicious. When I was younger and much less discriminate and I grew angry at someone, all too often I would clue into their area of greatest personal insecurity and attack them there. I had almost a preternatural instinct for where that was. I hurt a few people deeply and ruined a few friendships and relationships before I gained anything like control. Now if only I could learn a way to combine that control with the insight I could / can help people a lot. To do that I have to not be afraid of my own shadow.
In art and writing as much as I love beautiful things that inspire, I also have a fondness for horror. Oh not so much the slash, slash splatter serial killer Friday the 13th type (tho Freddie who dwells in Nightmares can touch some interesting triggers for me) but the more psychological gut-pulling horror of Edgar Allen Poe or Stephen King. Stephen King has this ability to show the dark side of human beings. The side made even uglier because it is repressed. I also have this enjoyment for stories and art that show the underside of creation, the type of art that H. P. Lovecraft wrote about and Hieronymus Bosch drew.
Yet aside for the occasional picture full of eyes I’ve resisted that in my own art. Part of that it’s been dawning on me has had to do with the same type of fear that keeps me in the ‘nice guy’ role in discussions. Am I that worried what people who enjoy my art may think? That is partly it. Partly there has been a fear of what may happen when the bottle is uncorked and the genie come out. I have a strong suspicion tho that it may just unlock further creativity and growth in me. Facing one’s fear and leaving one’s comfort zone tends to do that.
Blessings, G
Kephera by G A Rosenberg 
Coral Awakening by G A Rosenberg 
